For your EYES Only!!!

Your eyes speaks thousand words, those sparkling eyes have a lot to tell. Sometimes when lips are sealed and words fail, it’s your eyes which emotes and it emotes beautifully…




And, sometimes, your eyes just plays with mine, a constant hide and seek between our eyes. There’s a never ending thirst in your eyes, an endless search for me..




And, then your eyes reveals a mystery!! Those mysterious, scorned looks makes me feel your pain. Your eyes narrates the pain of being stranded in a loney journey, those deserted looks makes me wonder your apathy!!!



And, sometimes, your eyes makes me feel on TOP of the WORLD. Your eyes gives me the feeling of a victory!! Indeed, you have the most beautiful eyes in the world…



Sometimes, your eyes have been an inspiration!!! Your eyes reveals all the wordly woes of life!! Your eyes makes me realize the worth of GIVING!! Without your eyes, I would have never understood what it means to be with the people who are not the blessed ones!!!



And, then seeing those tears in your eyes, my heart sinks. Some pain pricks you day and night and that brings those pearls flow from your eyes, trust me, those pearls are precious to me



If BEAUTY lies in the EYES of the beholder, then your EYES makes me beautiful. If ever I adorn myself with all my glory, then it’s for your EYES only to see!! it’s your EYES which makes my world beautiful…



Every morning when I wake up and open my eyes to see you sleeping with your eyes closed, my eyes glitters!! There’s a sense of belongingness in your eyes…and truly, IT JUST TAKES ONE LOOK and I AM blinded BY YOUR EYES!!

My Tryst with FAILURE

I still remember the joy of getting a job in one of the biggest brands of the world after completing my MBA. I could visualize a picture perfect career and a picture perfect life. Staying and working in a city like Pune, that too in such a big company was a dream come true for me. 3rd July 2006 was the D-Day for me, when I took those baby steps inside the organization to build a strong foundation for my career.Right from the first day, I knew where I had to go and once I reach, nothing can deter me to stop and achieve success.

Right from day one, I put my blood and soul to my work, took initiatives for the team which perhaps no one would have taken in that team before, took part in major organizational initiatives, yes, I was one of those few people who managed to maintain good relations with all the BU Heads and even with the CEO of the company, constantly giving my feedback and involving myself in those initiatives. 1 year passed and because of my good work and my relations with the BU Heads and most of the senior managers, I was nearing to my goal, joining the most prestigious group of the organization. Yes, even the BU Head showed interest to hire me because he could see potentital in me to make it big. After nearly 1.5 years, my manager came to know about it that the BU Head of the other group is interested to take me in his team and by then, I could see the fruit of my hard work.

But things were not so simple as I thought. My manager probably had other things in his mind. My transition process to the other group started. I was introduced to the client, briefed on my roll, my VISA process started for UK Travel for 6 months and the joining date was given to me (14th August 2007). I was so happy seeing my dreams coming true. I was on the seventh heaven, feeling ecstatic of my success. The day I was about to shift to the group, my manager wrote a mail with just one line to the BU Head “Since the day, Ashutosh have heard that he is shifting to the other group, he has stopped working for my team and taking initiatives” which was so untrue. A team for which I had given my blood and soul, made sure to achieve more than 100% customer satisfaction, how could my manager do this to me?? Suddenly, my process got stopped. Things went haywire. Suddenly, I was so helpless, all my career dreams got shattered, I was in the midst of nowhere. I was stranded alone on a journey which had no destination. The FAILURE was so deep that till now, it has left ugly scars on my career. Yes, it was a humiliation for me, a defeat to my hard work and confidence. I had no option but left the organization after 2 months. Since then, I am leading a nomadic life in search of success, but everytime I had a rendezvous with failure. After leaving job, I went to Mumbai, joined a very small firm, but then I was asked to leave after 5 months. I was one of those first victims of world recession.

And, then I again shifted to Pune to work for a mid sized organization, but then, my destiny seems not to favour me, since it was a major automobile and manufacturing concern and things were not so good in the Automotive and Manufacturing scenario, I again had to leave Pune and finally I am here in Chennai. I still don’t know where am I heading, but sometimes I feel, had I got a chance to work for my dream group in my first organization, things would have been so good. Like every other young guy who join their first organization with aspirations in their mind and see it getting successful, I was not one of them.

Last 4 years, I am roaming, here and there with a hope to meet success someday. But, failures seems to be a part and parcel of my life. A nightmare which never seems to end, haunts me till now and perhaps, will continue to haunt till I die. This is one failure which I can never wipe it off from my life!!!

The Eyes that YEARN(Nayan Tarse)-Story- FINAL PART

31st December 2008 10 am, Tuhin's House

Tuhin lying on his bed and doing some sketches of Tretya. Suddenly, someone from behind comes and close his eyes. There is a smile on Tuhin's face :) and he is ecstatic that the day has come when he can say all his feelings to her...

Tuhin: Great to see you here, Tretya
Tretya: This is not fair, everytime, you recognize me...even if your eyes are closed
Tuhin: I don't need eyes to recognize you...You are one whom I know since childhood. We have shared almost everything, our successes, failures, joys and sorrows...
Tretya:Seems as if it's yesterday...

Tuhin gets up from his bed and hides the sketches behind his back.......

Tretya: That's why I wanted to share the biggest moment of my life with you. I have a SURPRISE for you!!
Tuhin: Well, well..even I have a SURPRISE for you!!
Tretya: Okay, let's close our eyes and say together that we have been waiting to say....
Tuhin: Okay, 1, 2, 3 GO....
Tretya: I love TAPISH Tuhin: I love YOU

Suddenly, both of them open their eyes in a shock!!! There's tears in Tuhin's eyes and the sketches that he was hiding from Tretya are lying on the floor. Tretya can't believe her eyes that Tuhin loves her because she considers him as her one of the great friends....

Tretya: I am sorry Tuhin, didn't know that you....
Tuhin: No, it's OK. I am happy because you are happy. Hey, I am a cool guy, why am I crying??

Saying this, he wipes off his tears...

Tuhin: I am happy...very happy. And, this is not fair, when are you introducing me to TAPISH?? I am such an idiot..You are one of my best friends. We are so different from each other, I am an idiot..I am sure, since you have chosen Tapish, he must be a perfect man. You always looked for perfection!! You tried to so hard to bring a perfection in me, but I always turned out to be a carefree....
Tretya: Tuhin, I know, when you are emotional, you talk a LOT....I am sorry TUHIN.....

Tuhin: I want to be alone...Can I meet you later??
Tretya: Yeah Sure..Take care TUHIN...(saying this, she leaves)

31st December 2008, Lucknow University, 11:30 am

Inside the college campus, somewhere on a bench, sitting alone, Trishna is waiting for TUHIN to come...

Suddenly, Tuhin comes from back and puts his hand on Trishna's back...Trishna turns and shocked to see tears in Tuhin's eyes...

Trishna:What happened??

Tuhin hugs Trishna and breaks down....

Tuhin: My first love remained incomplete....She loves someone else.....Treyta is not mine...

Listening this, Trishna couldn't help but speechless..There's tears in her eyes....

And, someone else sees Tuhin hugging Trishna. He cannot believe his eyes that the only lady whom he loves is in somebody else's arms. He is fiery, angry and in a mood of revenge. He cannot take INFIDELITY as an answer.Everything is upside down for him. He has only one thought in his mind, "If Trishna can't be HIS, she cannot be anyone else's LOVE"...He leaves the place...

Trishna: Tuhin, just be calm. It's not necessary that the person we love should also love us...If we have loved any person truly, then we should be happy for him/her.

31st December 2008, 5pm

Phone rings....

Trishna: Hello

Tapish: Tapish here..

Trishna: Long time...How are you?? I came to know about your father's sudden demise..sorry about that..good to hear you..
Tapish: There are lot of things because of which we feel sorry!! Even, I am sorry for something. But, you know, somethings happens for good. I am organizing a small party at HOTEL PASSION tonight to celebrate my success and want you to be there..
Trishna:Tapish, I am sorry, but I am really not well and I don't think, I will be able to make it..
Tapish: We are talking to each other after almost 3 months, I have been through HELL in those 3 months. Can't you come for sometime to be with me and celebrate my success..
Trishna:Okay, I will be there!!

Tapish hangs on!! Takes out the revolver from his drawer...
Tapish to HIMSELF: Don't worry Trishna, I will not make you feel SORRY henceforth.....

31st December,2008 HOTEL PASSION, 11:30 pm

Everyone is having a good time at the party. Trishna is standing alone in a corner. Tretya and Tuhin are standing together. Tretya waiting for TAPISH to come so that she can tell her feelings to him and introduce TUHIN to TAPISH...

There's a song playing....

"AAJ KI RAAT, HONA HAI KYA, KHONA HAI KYA, PAANA HAI KYA" (DON)

Suddenly, TAPISH enters the hall, approach towards Trishna, hold her hand and drags her...Trishna tried to free herself from his clutches but helpless. She tries to revolt but by the time she can do that, Tapish forcefully takes her towards the lift. Tretya and Tuhin notices Tapish dragging Trishna and follows him...

31st December,2008 HOTEL PASSION,Room No. 301 11:45 pm

Tapish along with Trishna enters the room and TAPISH takes out his revolver.

Trishna: What are you doing, TAPISH?? Are you mad??
Tapish: Yes, I am MAD. I loved you, yes, I loved you..but you betrayed me.
Trishna: What are you saying? Leave me..or else I will shout..
Tapish: HAHAHA...who will listen to you?? Everyone is busy enjoying for new year..there's loud music..no one can hear you...
Trishna tries to get up and goes near the door but is stopped by TAPISH...
Tapish: How can you even think of loving some other guy in my absence? I cannot see you going to someone else leaving me. I will KILL you and myself...

Suddenly, Tuhin bangs the door open and enters the room with Tretya...

Tuhin: Stop man...Put that gun down...
Tapish: OHH, so, Trishna, you have brought your lover with you in the party...
Tretya: Tapish!!! Don't take any bold step in anger..put that gun down...
Tapish: Who the HELL are you?? I am in LOVE with TRISHNA..And, I cannot see her loving someone else...
Tuhin: You are mad..and suddenly, Tuhin approaches Tapish and there is a tussle...there is a gun shot...

Trishna: (shouts) TUHIN!!

As soon as she approach towards TUHIN..running....there's another gun-shot...

Trishna falls on the ground...

Seeing all this happening, Tretya tries to snatch the revolver from TAPISH....

TAPISH: Leave me Tretya...
Tretya: You are a killer!!! I am not going to leave you...Give that gun to me...

Tapish: F*** Off!!! And, Tapish pushes Tretya on the ground....and fires a gun-shot on her too.....

Tuhin is unconscious lying on the bed, Tretya lying on the ground with blood oozing out from her body and Trishna screaming with pain. Suddenly, Tapish realizes that he has actually killed TRISHNA....Trishna's eyes are full with tears and she is gasping for breath....Tapish run towards Trishna and hold her in his arms...

Tapish: I am sorry TRISHNA....forgive me...I had become mad seeing you in Tuhin's arms..I couldn't see the sight

Trishna: Yes, you are true that I love Tuhin but Tuhin loves Tretya...and, Tretya loves YOU!!! It's unfortunate that though everyone loved each other, whatever remained in the END is only HATE!!

Tapish is shocked to hear this..He cannot believe his ears... Police enters the room and asks Tapish to surrender...

Suddenly, THERE's ANOTHER GUNSHOT from Tapish's revolver.....

The Eyes that YEARN(Nayan Tarse)-Story-Part 3

The first time Trishna sees Tuhin, all her anger just melts. She sees the ever charming smiling face of Tuhin holding his ears, sitting on his bike. The chocolate boy Tuhin surely knows how to impress girls. Tuhin gets down from his bike and approach Trishna.

Tuhin: Yaar, galti ho gayi (Sorry, I made a mistake), it’s pouring heavily and the roads are water-clogged. You can hardly see anything. Even, someone splashed mud on me and I made the same mistake with you.
Trishna: It’s ok, I understand
Tuhin: No, No…I have made a mistake and there is a punishment for every mistake. Let me give you a coffee treat in the canteen, anyway, it’s raining and I think a coffee is the best way to start a conversation, you know, today is my first day in the college, and you are the first person I am meeting and see how we meet….
Trishna: Hold on!! My god, you speak so much…
Tuhin: Yeah, I make a lot of nonsense sometimes, but I will keep my mouth shut and you sit on my bike..
Trishna: And, what made you think, I will say YES to your coffee treat.
Tuhin: Common, I am paying the bill. And, yeah, you can order 1-2 burgers if you want. I know you will not say a “No”.
Trishna: (Smiling) Let’s go…anyway, I am hungry. I think, I will also have some sandwiches..
Tuhin: You have to pay for sandwiches. Seems, you are in a mood to punish me, aaj hi pocket money khatam ho jaayega (Seems I will have no pocket money left after this treat)..

In the canteen, Tuhin and Trishna talks as if they know each other since ages. They instantly strike a chord. Days pass, and slowly, Tuhin and Trishna become good friends. Even if there is no reason for them to talk, still they sit and talk about anything and everything in this world. Tuhin’s smile is enough for Trishna for her to bunk her lectures sometimes and go with Tuhin and enjoy paanipuris. Trishna never says “No” to Tuhin and Tuhin always makes Trishna comfortable. For Tuhin, Trishna is just a good FRIEND but for Trishna, Tuhin is just not a friend anymore. She realizes that feelings have started creeping for Tuhin but Tuhin unaware of Trishna’s feelings is eagerly waiting to give a surprise because he feels that Trishna is his best friend with whom he can share the biggest moment of his life…

3rd December 2008

On the other end, TAPISH takes over the GUPTA clan after his father’s death. He has not been to college in the last 4 months. Things suddenly takes a U-turn for Tapish and he has to look after his family, GUPTA empire and politics. He is unaware of the events in the college, about Trishna and Tuhin’s friendship. One thing which is in his agenda and keeping him occupied is to fight for a property in Kanpur. Tapish’s father always dreamt of using the property for building an university but it has been illegally occupied by one of the high profile politicians. Tapish immediately needs to leave for Kanpur to meet the lawyer who will be fighting his case.

Enters TRETYA JHA

Tretya Jha is one of the leading lawyers of the city. Smart, Intelligent and someone who can think and play her game wisely. She is one woman who hates to see “FAILURE” in her life. Young, energetic and shrewd at the sametime, Tretya knows to make the right moves at the right time.

5th December 2008, 11 am, Tretya’s Office

Tapish: May I come in??
Tretya: Sure, please
Tapish: I am Tapish Gupta….( suddenly tretya interrupts)
Tretya: Tapish gupta, 3rd year, Arts student, lucknow University, only son of late Tanishq Gupta, fighting for a property case against politician DHANESH TIWARI…
Tapish: (speechless) I am impressed…
Tretya: So am I.. have heard a lot about you. Pehle suna tha, aaj dekh bhi liya (I heard about you in the past, and now I have seen you too).
Tapish: I didn’t know I am so famous
Tretya: Some people don’t know their worth and some people think themselves priceless and powerful enough, Dhanesh Tiwari is on the latter side. We just have to exchange two places, bring you on the Priceless side of the game and make Dhanesh worthless. Elections are near and I can surely make a difference!!! DEAL???
Tapish: DEAL( with a smile on his face)
Tretya: Relax then, the hearing is after 5 days and Dhanesh is going to have a tough time. We will be meeting often to discuss the details of the case. Hope you don’t have a problem..
Tapish: My pleasure..See you….

Tapish and Tretya often meets regarding the case and slowly Tretya develops a liking for Tapish. For a strong woman like her, she needs a man who can support her and give her a mental high. Tapish is young, ambitious and has a rugged persona which surely charms Tretya. Apart from that, getting associated with the GUPTA empire is definitely an honor for every woman. Tretya has her plans intact. The only way she can win the trust of Tapish is to win his case. She puts her heart and soul into the case and puts every evidence in the court and confuse her opponent lawyer with her statements. Finally, Tapish wins the case and gets his property back.

25th December 2008

Tapish: Thanks a lot Tretya. Without your help, I don’t think, this would have been possible considering the intricacies of the case
Tretya: This calls for a celebration!!
Tapish: I have decided to arrange a grand party on 31st December and you are invited. Hoping to see you.
Tretya: Definitely!!!

Saying this, Tapish leaves and goes to his room. Laying on a sofa, something suddenly strikes his mind. yes, it’s definitely Trishna in his mind. He feels guilty of not being able to spend ample amount of time with Trishna and let her know about his feelings. He decides to convey her feelings on the party day itself and make her his partner for the rest of his life.

Mobile rings…..

Tuhin: Hello

Lady at the other end: Surprise!!!! I am coming to Lucknow on 31st Dec.
Tuhin: Wow!!! You don’t know how happy I am…
Lady at the othe end: Well, there is a big SURPRISE for you waiting….
Tuhin: You never know, I might surprise you that day..
Lady at the other end: Let’s see….and she hangs on…

FOUR FRAMES

1ST FRAME: TAPISH lying on sofa and dreaming of TRISHNA….

2nd FRAME: TRISHNA getting wet in the rain and playing in the mud with the ecstacy of TUHIN

3rd FRAME: TUHIN biking on lonely roads in the night thinking of TRETYA and dreaming of proposing her in the New Year night…

4th FRAME: TRETYA sipping wine in her room and thinking about her future with TAPISH…..

Everyone has a surprise to give to each other, so does their DESTINY…

(to be continued)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. If any characters, places or incidents bears any resemblance to anyone, then it’s purely coincidental and unintentional.

This is Ashutosh, your FRIEND for LIFE!!

Sometimes, we wonder what makes us special?? Is it our intelligence that speaks volumes or good looks that makes people go weak down their knees? We would have appreciated ourselves million times standing infront of the mirror and sometimes, would have loathed for not being near to perfection. So, today, I got a chance to ask myself, what makes ME special?? And, there was this one answer which resonated, it’s the PEOPLE around me, my FRIENDS who makes me special and have made me the way I am.

I have never really made an effort to be with the people, some I knew and some being complete strangers to me. It’s always the circumstances and perhaps, the faith of other people because of which I have made a difference in their lives, which in turn made a difference to my life. For some, I am their FAMILY, for some, I am just a source of INSPIRATION, for some, I am a CONFIDANT and for some I am someone with whom they can share all their worries. With millions of people around me everyday, there are some who BELIEVE in me. I have never really thought of whether the person would remember me once he/she is away from me, whether the person will value me in the future or ever appreciate the memories once he/she is at the other side of the fence. The only thought that comes to my mind is whether I would be happy remembering the person whom I once helped in my life, whether I would value myself when I look at my past, whether I would be able to bring a smile on my face appreciating the memories. And, the answer is YES.

Every single moment of my effort have been praised, recognized and remembered. What can I ask more? On a lonely journey called “LIFE”, these are the people who travel with you, might not be forever, but at times when you just need someone besides you. From the journey of UNKNOWN- STRANGERS-ACQUAINTANCE- FRIENDS- SOULMATES, my “TALE of FRIENDSHIP”is indeed a cherishing one!!!

Today, I would like to thank all my friends who have given me an opportunity to make a difference in their lives. Without them, my life would just have been a handful of events, it’s they who have given me a life full of memories worth remembering.

Every night, when I go to my bed, thinking if I am worth enough to get a peaceful sleep, I see smiling faces of my friends and that makes my eyes closed so that I wake up to see a wonderful morning the next day!!

This is Ashutosh, your FRIEND for life signing off….THANKS my FRIENDS!!

The Eyes that YEARN (Nayan Tarse)-Story-Part 2

3rd June 2008, 10 am, Lucknow University

As soon as Trishna enters the University, she can see a big crowd all over cheering and celebrating with placards having Tapish’s party symbol and Tapish’s name. She thinks to meet Tapish and wish him success. She heads towards the Literature Dept. Her eyes start searching Tapish but she can’t find him. She goes from one department to another but fails. With a disappointed face, she finally goes to her Psychology Dept. and enters the classroom and shocked to see Tapish sitting alone on the bench. As soon as Tapish sees her, there is a smile on his face and the same is with Trishna.

Trishna: You sitting here and I am searching you all over to congratulate you.
Tapish: You searching all over and I am waiting in your department to share my success with you. I OWE my success to you.
Trishna: Me?? (in a confused voice).
Tapish: I believe “Besides every successful man, there is a woman” and my lady luck is besides me. Yes, I won by a margin of 1 vote. I have a strong belief that it’s your vote which has made a difference.
Trishna: If that’s the case, I am happy
Tapish: Don’t you think we should celebrate??
Trishna: Yes, you can celebrate with your supporters…
Tapish: And, don’t you support me??
Trishna: I hardly know you. What’s so hurry?? She smiles, turns back, bids good bye and leaves finally…

3rd June 2008, 2pm, Psychology Dept., Lucknow University

Psychology professor asks all the students to meet anyone of their unknown classmates, talk/ question them for half an hour and prepare a Case Study on “How to read a human mind?”. This is a part of their Practicals. As soon as the students get ready to meet their “Unknown Classmate”, suddenly someone pats Trishna at her back saying “Shall we start Madam?” and as soon as Trishna turns her back, it’s TAPISH for her.

Tapish: Half an hour, ask me whatever you want. And, no more “I don’t know you” excuse in the future.
Trishna: Ohh, so, how did you manage to convince our Psychology professor?
Tapish: Your professor respects me a lot.
Trishna: And, what about you?
Tapish: Respect doesn’t come for everyone.
Trishna: He is not any Tom, Dick and Harry. He is our professor…
Tapish: Why are we discussing about your professor?? Remember, you have 20mins more to know me.

Suddenly, another boy comes and says, “Excuse me, are you Trishna??”

Trishna: Yes
Ameet: Hello, I am Ameet. The Professor has asked me to meet you for the Case Study.
Tapish: (with a high voice) Mit or whatever your name is, I am with her now. And, I am the subject of study.
Ameet: But…
Tapish: Look Ameet, you know who I am, right?? Leave the room or else you might have to face the consequences.
Trishna: Wait a min Tapish, you need not have to talk to him like that. I think there is some confusion and we need to sort it out.
Ameet: Trishna, I have less time with me. I think we should start as I have to attend a lecture within 15 mins.
Tapish: (Holding the collar of Ameet) You seem to be in too much of hurry.
Trishna: (in an angry voice) what are you doing Tapish? Leave him…

Suddenly, the professor comes and says “Leave Ameet”. Tapish looks back….

Professor: Principal immediately wants to meet you. So, I have asked Ameet to be with Trishna for the Case study.

Tapish: OK and he tries leaving…
Trishna: Atleast say SORRY to him, the least you can do is apologize to him.
Tapish: I am not at fault. And, he leaves…

Trishna is aghast to see Tapish’s behaviour. Days pass and Tapish makes all effort to befriend Trishna. Everytime they meet, Tapish impresses Trishna but some or the other incident happens because of which Trishna sees the other side of Tapish which leaves her in a confused state of mind. Trishna decides to remain calm and act normal with Tapish.

2nd August 2008, 10 am, Lucknow University

Monsoon starts and it’s raining cats and dogs. It’s mesmerizing to see greenery all over, children playing on streets in the rains, students hiding near the Chai shops and sipping hot tea with pakodas enjoying rains. Trishna enters the college with wet hair and an umbrella in her hand. Tapish sitting in a chai shop with his friends notices Trishna and mesmerized by her beauty. Wet hair, chunri covering her head, pink lips, Trishna avoiding the water clogged holes on the roads and slowly walking towards the college. Tapish decides to propose Trishna and he is confident that Trishna can’t say “No” to him.

2nd August 2008, 3 pm, Lucknow University

Trishna inside the Library studying and Tapish enters.

Tapish: Come along with me.
Trishna: Where??
Tapish: I will show you something outside.
Trishna: But, it’s raining outside, ok, let me take my umbrella….
Tapish: Leave the umbrella..
Tapish hold Trishna’s hand and close her eyes with his other hand.

It’s raining and they are completely drenched. Tapish takes away his hand, and Trishna opens her eyes…It’s a garden of roses, roses here, roses there, RED roses everywhere. It’s raining and the beauty of roses is there to see. But, Tapish is in awe of the beauty of Trishna, in RED salwar, she is nothing less than a rose today.

Trishna: Wow, it’s beautiful.
Tapish: Remember, today is FRIENDSHIP Day. So, I though to give you a surprise.
Trishna: Tapish, I love roses and this place is so beautiful. Saying this, she hugs him.
Tapish: Trishna, I want to say you something today….
Trishna: What??

Tapish plucking a rose from a plant and suddenly his mobile rings….

Tapish: Hello

The voice at the other end: Your father has expired, he got a severe heart attack, come home soon!!!

Tapish suddenly breaks down into tears. The day would have been the most beautiful day of his life had he proposed Trishna. Why this had to happen and that too he lost someone so precious, his father, the only person he respects in his life. Trishna tries to console Tapish, Tapish leaves saying “Didn’t knew the RED will change my life but I promise you this RED will have to weave another tale and it will come soon…”

Tapish starts his jeep, and leaves the University. While leaving he crosses a bike and suddenly splashes mud on the biker. The biker stops and shouts at Tapish. But, Tapish unaware of the incident leaves college. The biker takes out his helmet.
Enters, TUHIN MALKANI

Tuhin: Kya bhagwaan?? First day in college and my jacket is spoilt. Is saale ko toh main chhodoonga nahin (I will not leave this Idiot)
Tuhin to himself: No Tuhin, you should not be angry. Remember, you are a COOL guy!! Be cool with everyone and even your name means the same.
Saying this, he starts his bike and proceeds towards the college, but, unaware of a water clogged hole, he splashes mud into someone…He stops his bike, takes out his helmet and turns back. and sees Trishna trying to clean her churidaar…

Tuhin: Mar gaya!! (I AM DEAD)

(to be continued)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. If any characters, places or incidents bears any resemblance to anyone, then it’s pure coincidental and unintentional.

The Eyes that YEARN (Nayan Tarse)-Story-Part1

31st Dec 2008, 23:55, Hotel PASSION, Room No. 301

The whole world is celebrating and waiting to welcome the New Year with loud music, dance, parties etc. But, there is another world about to end in room no. 301. Tuhin is almost dead lying on the bed, and Tretya lying on the ground with blood oozing out from her body. Trishna screaming with pain, gasping to take breathe while TAPISH with a gun in his hand, tears in his eyes and holding Trishna in his arms bursting out and asking her to forgive him.

Outside HOTEL PASSION

Reporter Ashutosh from CRIME TV, brings you live the events at Hotel Passion. Three gunshots firing have been heard inside Room No. 301. We have been told that Tapish Gupta, famous politician and MP, is inside the room with three other people, lawyer Tretya Jha, and two students Tuhin Malkani and Trishna Shah from Lucknow University. What actually happened is still a mystery since the door is locked and the hotel authorities are trying to actually find out the reality. We will bring you the latest news soon, keep watching CRIME TV!!!

FLASHBACK

1st June 2008, 11 am, Lucknow University

Tapish Gupta, son of MP Tanishq Gupta is a popular figure in Lucknow University. Tapish is tall, has got intense looks, rugged features and always seen with a khaadi kurta. He is intelligent and speaks only when required. He has an attitude to die for. Most of the boys in the college respect him for the helpful person he is and girls adore him. He always respects women and believes that “Besides every successful man, there is a woman”. Tapish is sincere to his family and friends and loves his father the most. He can go any extent to bring glory to his family. The only scion of Gupta Empire, Tapish is a man to look out for!!!

It’s Elections time once again and the whole campus is abuzz with activities like distributing pamphlets, entering classes and asking for votes, talking about women liberation, equal rights, fighting with management for extra facilities in Lucknow University. Tapish and his supporters are making sure not to leave any stones unturned and win this year’s elections. Suddenly, amidst all these activities, Tapish sees someone in the campus infront of the Psychology Dept unaware of the activities going in the college and happily discussing about something with her professor. Curly long hair till her back, draped in churidaar and kurta with a chunri covering her head, kajal in her big round eyes. While talking to the professor, suddenly, her chunri falls and Tapish could see her. Tapish is speechless to see the beauty in her simplicity. She turns back and straight heads to the way where Tapish is standing with his supporters. Suddenly, Tapish stops her..

Tapish: Are you new to the college??
Trishna: Yes, I have joined just today
Tapish: Tapish Gupta, 2rd year, B.A (Literature) standing for elections. Remember the woman using a charkha, that’s the symbol of my party. Vote me!!
Trishna: And, why do I vote you? I don’t even know you…
Tapish: Tapish Gupta, 2rd year, B.A (Literature) standing for elections. If you want to ask anything else, you can…By the way, what’s your name??
Trishna: Trishna Shah from Kolkata, 1st year, B.A (Psychology). She tries to leave….
Tapish’s Supporters: Sir is talking to you and you trying to leave. Don’t try to act smart.
Tapish: Shouting on his supporters, Shut up!! Don’t you know how to talk to a woman? Our party’s symbol itself is a woman and you people have still not learnt to respect them. What’s the point of talking about women liberation when we ourselves don’t know how to conduct with women?
Trishna: I have to collect my Identity Card sharp at 11:30 am. And, I am very particular about time. And, nice to meet you, Tapish and thanks, will remember you…
Trishna leaves and there is a slight smile on Tapish’s face. And Tapish seeing Trishna leaving says…

“Woh khubsurati hi kya jis mein adaa na ho, woh khubsurati hi kya, jis mein sharmindagi na ho
Ek nazar dekh liya hai usse, aye khuda, bas kisi aur ko dekhne ki ab tamanna na ho”

Trishna Shah, a middle class girl from Kolkata, is chirpy, bubbly and happy go lucky one. That doesn’t take away the seriousness from her. She is responsible and believes in sharing her best with few people. She is not an open book for everyone to read. Yet, she has this unquenchable thirst to be with the people who can make her happy. Trishna’s journey in Lucknow University is going to make her life take a U turn. She is unaware of the events to come that will change her life forever or may be END her life forever!!!!

Corporate HARAMKHORI!!!

After the super success of Main HARAMKHOR, it’s time for me to talk more about “HARAMKHORI” AND THIS TIME, I will talk about CORPORATE HARAMKHORI. And, I am dead sure, all of you sometime in you life must have done such haramkhori. And, it’s true that Corporate HARAMKHORI is a part of Corporate Politics which I learnt in my first organization, thanks to my colleagues!! I dedicate this song to all you people who are proud to have done Corporate Haramkhori in their life…

“Kabhi Dagabaaz, Kabhi Qatil, Kabhi Chor,
Mere Yaar, Sab ke Sab Haramkhor!!!”

Fresh out of MBA college, I indeed had no idea of what organization culture is, how things works out, team dynamics etc. etc…and being with HSBC, I tried my best to create a good image of myself!! But, then destiny had its own plans. During Durga Puja, I had to go home and needed a leave for 7 days, that’s one time of the year when my entire family gathers. So, when I approached my manager for a leave, he said ” Ashutosh, you are on probation for 6 months and as per the company policy, you cannot take leave..so, sorry!!” But then, I am one among those who belives in breaking the rules and policies. Bhagwaan Krishna ne toh nahin, lekin kisine toh kaha hai, “Agar ghee sidhi ungli se naa nikle, ungli tedhi karo”. And, BANG comes the IDEA!!! And, remember, ek IDEA aapki zindagi badal sakti hai…

I approached my manager and then the conversation began…

HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: Pushkar, I need a leave as I am getting engaged….
Pushkar: What?? A 22 year old guy fresh out of college not even settled in his life getting engaged???
HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: Yes, you know it’s a LOVE Marriage actually and the girl’s parents are adamant to get me engaged with their daughter
Pushkar: Why, don’t they trust you??
HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: They do, it’s just that, it’s a good time, Durga Puja and my wife completing her MBBS degree..so…
Pushkar: Ohh wow, so, your would-be is a doctor??? What’s her name??
HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: Err…ROSALIN (who actually is my sister’s best friend, who is a doctor, already married and 4 months pregnant) :)
Pushkar: Best of luck!! Leave GRANTED…..

So, you see, yeh jhooth bolne wali baat hamesha kaam kar jaati hai!! And, trust me, when Rosalin actually heard my story, she had mixed reactions, more than anything, she was happy for me. Now, the biggest question, now that I am engaged, where’s the RING???

And, my father said me, “Don’t you worry son, here is your Engagement RING”
HARAM KHOR Papu( that’s my nick name): Baba, are you out of your mind. This is some gold ring related to astrology, with a big green colour EMERALD. It doesn’t even look close to an engagement ring
Papa: Did I say you to lie?? If you lied once, I am sure you can lie again…BEST OF LUCK

Back in Office

Pushkar: Congratz!! Ashutosh…where are the sweets??
HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: At my desk..will distribute soon
Pushkar: Ohh, i can see something dazzling on your finger
HARAMKHOR Ashutosh:Oh yeah, that’s my Engagement Ring..
Pushkar (shocked): Is that your Engagement Ring??
HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: Yeah, Pushkar, bad luck you see. My astrologer said there are some problems in my Kundali and all because of which my marriage cannot happen within 2 years, so he suggested me this emerald ring to wear it on the same finger where I was wearing my engagement ring..and, you cannot wear two rings in one finger. I had to take out my engagement ring…
Pushkar: That’s sad.. anyway, congratulations again!!

So, you see, Corporate HARAMKHORI work wonders!! Time and again, destiny challenged me, made me hone my haramkhori skills, especially HR Interviews where I lie so nicely that HR actually becomes my fan!! Typical haramkhori answers are like….

1. Where do you see yourself 5 years from now??

HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: Definitely, in your organization in a senior management position. I think I would be able to contribute a lot to your organization with my past experiences and the learning I will have in your organization

(Actual Answer: Will you be able to tolerate me for 5 years??)

2. Why do you want to leave your current job??

HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: I have always loved my current organization because of the challenges I faced here and the things I learnt. But, down the line, I see your organization as a stepping stone for my career path and I am sure I would be able to make a difference since the job profile and my expertise resembles a lot and being the creative person I am, I think, I will just not be a regular employee but a value addition to your organization!!

(Actual Answer: Man, your organization is ready to pay me, big brand, what do I want in my life??)

So, Corporate HARAMKHORI has no substitute. It’s the skill which comes by experience. Having attended numerous interviews in my life, now, I don’t get rejected by any Interviewer because of the well prepared HARAMKHORI…

So, the next time, you think of enhancing your skills like JAVA, .NET, Business Analysis, Domain Knowledge,Communication Skills, do think of enhancing one more skill too, HARAMKHORI!!!!

Main Haramkhor

Idhar udhar, jaoon kidhar?
dagar, dagar, shehar, shehar
mache yehi shor, bas charo oar,
jo karna tha, kabhi kiya nahin
kahe sab mujhe, main “Haramkhor”

Before anyone getting offended by the title of the post, let me clarify that I have dedicated this post entirely to MYSELF :) . It’s neither a work of fiction and nothing is unintended. Everything is purely intentional. So, before I write, why I have dedicated this post to myself, I will explicitly explain the true meaning of “HARAMKHOR“. According to Urban dictionairy, “Haramkhor” is one who earns his kicks by doing what he is not supposed to be doing. And, yeah, I epitomise the terminology.

As a child, I have not done anything which I was supposed to do, but still managed to be the cynosure of everyone’s eyes. Well, I will not write an autobiography here, but will highlight a few instances from “HERE and THERE” of my life. I remember, during my graduation, when I was struggling to be a JACK of ALL TRADES, enrolled myself into G-NIIT, B.SC Chemistry, BCA, IGNOU and last but not the least, was preparing for CAT. And, like Darsheel Safary of Taare Zameen Par (poor kid) :) , my day used to start at morning 5:30 and with my Kinetic Honda, I used to run from one class to another( NIIT to College, from College to IMS, again from IMS TO IGNOU). And, one thing which was a PAIN IN THE A** (PITA) was my Chemistry practical classes which used to start at afternoon 2 and end at evening 6. I still didn’t understand why the people used to be so happy when they see precipitate at the bottom of a test tube or see the litmus paper turn blue to red. So, to avoid those PITAs, I knowingly enter the practical classes without APRON and happily face the wrath of my Chemistry Lab Professor, who used to say “GET OUT, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER PRACTICAL CLASSES WITHOUT APRON“, poor, Chemistry teacher, little did he knew, I used to bunk his atrocious chemistry lectures and prepare for my MBA :) And, then, after few classes, my Chemsitry professor came to know my intentions and started allowing me to to do practicals without apron. But, taking the legacy of “HARAMKHORI” ahead, I always used to complete my practical sessions within 1-2 hrs, hehe. If the precipitate has to be yellow, go to the bathroom, one drop of pee, and BANG, precipitate turns YELLOW :) and if sometimes, the solution has to turn blue, green, maroon, I had with me other solutions in the form of variety of INK Pens, hoohahaahaaa :) Haramkhori, indeed!!!

And then, during my MBA, well, I was always a great speaker. And, making PPTs used to be the most pathetic job, till now, I hate preparing PPTs. Anyway, I always used to motivate my team members to make those PPTs, and me in turn presenting it infront of the Professors, since most of my classmates feared giving presentations. Poor they, whole night, they do all the hard work, and I go ahead with all the accolades in the morning with my mind-blowing presentations!! Not only I managed to be in the limelight for my presentations but also for screwing my classmates too. I was the one who used to ask the most difficult questions pertaining to the topic of their presentations. In fact, just 1 hour before my classmates presentation, I go to Library, search on the topic, prepare some good 2-3 tough questions, ask them, make them score low and then I used to get those brownie points. My professor used to be very impressed with my “so-called intelligent questions“. At the end of every presentation, he used to ask, “So, Ashutosh, do you have any question to ask?”, LOL :) Is chakkar main kabhi kabhi dost, treat bhi de dete the, my friends used to say, “Ashu you can do anything with us, take treat, but please don’t ask questions”.

Even if Lord Krishna has not said anything, but, GURU ASHU believes in “VATS, HARAMKHORI karo when it can do good to yourself without harming others”.

God made me in a second!!!

Priyanka Chopra once said “God must have taken a vacation to make people like Aishwarya Rai, we mortals were made in a day“, and I wonder, if Priyanka Chopra was made in a day, then, I for sure, was made in a second, may be when god was busy with batch processing of human beings :)

I neither have the looks to make people go down weak on knees nor have the intelligence which can put me in a different league of people. So, what makes me so ordinary?? Well, I have always been a man of “Averages“. I used to score average during my exams, comes from an average background, graduated my MBA from an average B-school, started my career with an average salary and after 25 years, I am still an average human being. And, there is one friend of mine who says, “There is nothing wrong in being ordinary“. Well, point taken, as its coming from another ordinary person. But then, greatness comes within. So, we mortals minus Priyanka Chopra believe that, by sheer hard work, we can be successful and be extra-ordinary. Booh, what’s hard work?? I have seen rickshaw pullers in my town pulling rickshaws for a meagre Rs 15, the kind of hard work they do or some construction workers, we can never ever imagine to do. Hey people, now, don’t tell me, it’s all about destiny since I can give enough of examples where mere hard work falls flat, ask me!!!

Now, some of you will tell me about smart work, right time, management fundas and all that, but then, as truly said by my other friend, it’s all MOH-MAYA (no these are not the names of two girls) :) Jo hai, usi main khush raho kyunki insaan apni kismat likha ke aata hai…Now, if at all I could have had the address where the destinies are written, I will run and change mine.

So, coming back to the conclusion of how it feels being a step-child of God, then, well, it feels GREAT!!! We have ample amount of time in our life to study the people whom God made during a vacation or in a day, get insipired from them, try to be like them, listen to them, see them, sometimes get jealous, sometimes be happy aur yehi karte karte saali puri zindagi nikal jaati hai and then on our death bed, we have two options either to be happy consoling ourselves that whatever we have done in our lifetime is actually GREAT or repent thinking “Wish God had made me in a day or during a vacation“….

And, if you ask me, what would I think on my death bed, well, that remains to be seen!!!!

“SMOKE” It Away…

Smoke here, smoke there, smoke everywhere, with every breath, fumes gushes out of the lips. The slender, sleek thing getting slowly burned and with that burns your desires and hopes. Its lusty, thirsty throat, dry lips seeks nothing but that one puff which quenches all your thirst. The heart beating gets faster and you are high on emotions, yeah, its that one puff which touches all your senses making you numb.

Like a fire catching the forest and gripping the vast greenery with its flames leaving a bunch of ash, this sleek sexy thing too slowly catch your soul before arresting your body and then you are handcuffed for the rest of your life yearning to take that one puff and before you realize, there is again a bunch of ashes lying on your bed with a white sheet covering it. One puff before you close your eyes at night and one puff after you wake up in the morning is more than enough to show you the path to darkness. And, yes, sometimes dark is killing and it kills with a vengeance. Whether it’s an intoxicated dark room with loud music and senseless bodies moving or a lonely room on a bed, the plot thickens and the vision gets blurred with smoke all around.

Sometimes, the astray looks like a graveyard with skeletons all around and yes souls wandering nearby to take that one puff to see the reflection of themselves in the astray. But then, no one realizes what they see, that’s the beauty of that one puff, it makes you forget the reality and what appears in front of you is a colourful illusion. An illusion powerful enough to take the soul out of your body someday. But then, who cares??

One more evening, countless emotions, pain gripping the body, and there’s one more death you want to die, every moment, every passing day. Rest your body, open the packet, take out your “life” from the packet, burn it and take that one puff and SMOKE IT AWAY….

A Lyrical Life worth listening…

That night was different, alone in my room, away from the city crowd, dim lights and cool breeze, the night was full of promises. The night was haunting and a web of illusions in front of my eyes sometimes bringing smile on my face and sometimes tears rolling down my eyes. And, something very musical playing on my laptop…

“Mera kuchh saamaan tumhaare paas padaa hai
saawan ke kuchh bheege bheege din rakhhe hain
aur mere ik khat mein liptii raat padii hai
vo raat bujhaa do
meraa vo saamaan lautaa do ..”

Alone in my room, I had a tale to tell, tale of my life, a tale of someone whose absence in my life has made it a standstill.I feel like getting marooned in an island of loneliness. Nothing has crippled me so much as the memories of these 5 months. The sea was violent, full of energy, the moments splashing my mind and making me wet and suddenly its calm now. It’s a barren desert now and me like a wanderer looking for nectar to quench my thirst for love, tranquility and happiness. Those memories of 5 years which I always used to cherish have certainly vanished in these 5 months.

You promised me that it would just be a game of hide and seek to which I readily agreed, but then, the reality was painful. I hopelessly searching you and trying to win your heart, but by then, you had left me.And, this dark night like a witch doing some magic on me and perhaps, it’s hallucination and I can feel you near me. The night is long, really long, as I can see the images of those 5 years moving infront of me and I don’t know how to react to it. A mixed emotion and a bit of fear is gripping me tight, fear of losing the memories again, fear of the night getting ended, fear of the promise being broken by the night, fear of you again getting vanished…

Let me close my eyes and even if it’s just an illusion, let it be. I don’t want to wake up and face the ugly face of reality only to find you not besides me.Let me live a dream which is worth than a life…

SIN is IN and so is the SINNER….

Since childhood, there was someone or the other who kept on saying me what’s wrong and what’s right? The difference between good and bad, right and wrong,curse and blessing, sin and good deeds were thrusted on me by different sections of society. Till adolescence, I was unaware of what actually SIN is?? Continuosly being hammered by people, my mind had no option but to get moulded in a different way everytime a person filled it with some gyaan. Though the theory of going to hell and getting fired in the oil pan after committing a SIN did not appease me, but still, yes, even I was on the path of sanctity which showed me the mirror of transparency reflecting moral values, good deeds etc.

But then, gradually,the transparent picture got blurred, apparently the good people who used to talk about not committing SINs were the most notorious ones. As I grew older, my mind could visualize that every good deed was wrapped with a lie, the facts turned out to be myths, goodness gasping for life with the continuos attack of bad and what ultimately prevailed is SIN.

SIN is a shadow which paralyzes your thought process, makes you helpless and you tread an unknown direction without rhyme or reason. But then, when I was a kid unaware of anything, I was committing sin too. People around me made sure to paralyze my mind and listen to the society. I was helpless because I couldn’t take my own decisions, and whenever I tried to do that, I was punished, sometimes beaten and threatened. Yes, I was in an unknown direction of “SANCTITY” quite unaware of what sanctity is. Till 22, I did whatever I was told to do, indeed the biggest SIN of my life, but not anymore.

Now, I am above good and bad. There is nothing that I term as a “SIN”. The definition of “SIN” is relative and why do I have to always listen to society to lead a life which is entirely mine. Being in a society which is crippled, have no rights to design my ways of life. The rules of do’s and don’ts have handicapped me as a person for so long, not anymore. Yes, if the moral leaders ask me if I have committed any SIN, then my answer is “Numerous”.

SIN is IN and so is the SINNER….

Unexpectedly Expected!!!

Expectations and expectations, expectations from your family, friends, colleagues and the list go one!! Sometimes capable enough to fulfill and sometimes handicapped not even to fulfill one expectation. There are two theories to expectations:

1. I always thank one of my friends who taught me not to expect anything from anyone, not even from your dearest ones. Not everyone can fulfill your expectations, some are not able enough and some might not see any justification in fulfilling your expectations. Not expecting from anyone comes with a lot of advantages, first being, you never end up being hurt when you see your expectations falling flat on the ground and secondly sometimes comes as a surprise when someone unexpectedly fulfill your expectations. In fact, don’t expect anything from your life. The biggest reason of frustration in life is when your expectations from life don’t fulfill.

2. And, then there is another friend of mine who strongly believes “Relationship is meaningless without expectations”. If someone expects something from me and I don’t end up fulfilling it, then I am an insensitive animal who doesn’t deserve to be treated in a nice manner. Not fulfilling expectations is a sign of insensitiveness, cruelty, impolite behavior. So, if I had to be a sensitive and a respected individual, then I should treat everyone’s expectations with respect and try my level best to fulfill it.

Now, I am in a fix, which one is a better doctrine of expectation. I being an individual have my own limitations and constraints and just because I don’t fulfill someone wishes sometimes, does that mean I am insensitive?? What about my expectations and wishes?? If I have not bothered to accuse anyone of not fulfilling my expectations and wishes, why people accuse me?? I have been in a journey of success and failures, good and bad friends, best and worst moments and yes, I have complained about it and the only person to whom I complained is myself. Somewhere or the other, it’s me who have designed my own life, taken decisions which have affected my life, so why do I have to keep pointing fingers on others for the sheer pain that I undergo because of my expectations and wishes not being fulfilled. Yes, I do believe, when expectation is matter of responsibility, then you need to fulfill it but sometimes the queue gets too longer for you to fulfill it.

And no, I am not an insensitive animal for being a ruthless averter of expectations. And, yes, I am not here to prove a point to everyone, it’s the perspective of the people and everyone have their own perspective and I respect it. I have lived 25 years, almost 40% of my life and at this juncture, I need not have to shout from the top of the roof that I am justified in my actions. That’s the way I am and that’s the way I will be and if you expect me to be something else, god help you!!!

F”R” AME IT!!!

One fine morning, suddenly, when I wake up, I see myself on the cover page of a big corporate magazine, my interviews published in one of the leading newspapers, paparazzi following me wherever I go, glamour and glitter all around, photographers humming to capture me in their lens and yes, I have been waking up everyday and seeing this dream with my eyes wide open. I frame my dream every morning and cherish it whole day and yes, the next morning, I see the same dream but the intensity to achieve glitz and glamour is more.

Good or bad, beautiful or ugly, smooth or rough, I am not sure but yes, the path to my dream is not so easy and I do not want it to be easy. Sacrifice, moral suicide, frustration are a passé, what remain is the intoxication which is never fading and I love it. I have loved it more than myself. It’s a hunger to die, die literally every day, die without noise, die without pain, die with a desire to make others die for me, to make them die seeing my success. It’s a death I am waiting with bated breath.
I am habituated with my dream, no conscience or emotions can take me away from that dream, no sweet talks can enchant me, neither the heart nor the mind is ready to surrender to the compulsion. Yes, my eyes are tired, sometimes I find myself as a prisoner with my hands and legs tied, closed in a dungeon unable to reach people and shout, that, “Look who I am. I am not one among those millions who choose to live a life designed by others but I am one of those who have the patience to struggle, fight with the destiny, decide what is Right or Wrong for me, not what society has decided, break all the rules of Goodness Theory, yes, I am one of those, whom you aspire to be but the only difference between you and me is you will die ASPIRING and I will ACHIEVE IT”.

Yes, you are one of those millions, who will die and I will continue living even after I DIE…

Being HAPPY...

Today is the end of 50 days in Chennai, end of 50 more moments of emotions, end of 50 more experiences and 50 more lives. With the start of every new day in Chennai, a life breathed and at the fall of the dawn, there was one more dead body wrapped with countless emotions. For once, today I feel like being In Pune, alone at my home, away from the changing mood of the city, and yes, playing ghazals and enjoying the eternity in solidarity. Yes, feelings have creeped in, heart is heavy and eyes are moist, it’s my love for Pune, a city where I have learnt life, a city which taught me to live life, a city which is nothing less than my life.

A ghazal of Jagjit Singh truly exemplifies my emotions at this time
“Ab main ration ke kataaron main nazar aata hon,
Apne kheton se bichhadne ki sazaa main pata hoon”

Yes, I am not happy not here. I have tried umpteen number of times but failed. In a race to earn more, work for a bigger organization and better profile, I have lost my peace. And, no, it’s just not today, it’s been 3 years, I am in the race. People have come and gone, success and failures have played hide and seek, with every new address comes a new pain. May be, I am asking too much from my life but why am I deprived of peace all my life. Whenever there is something good to happen, why does something bad have to poison the good and end its life??? I am like a dice in the hands of destiny which is being thrown on the board of life, there is always a different combination of success and failures, different combination of sadness and happiness, but what remains constant at the end is the death of those numerous experiences, moments and lives. The number game have put a question mark in my life, every number signifies something, and I as a hopeless passenger hopping from one place to another is always in a search of the significance, trying to knock every door coming my way with a hope to meet peace someday but till now, I have failed, what shows every time is a face filled with melancholy.

Dedication to my MAA- Mother's Day

Beneath the shadows of darkness on my way
There's a ray of hope that forever stays
An insipiration to live a life worth living
A symbol of sacrifice and endless giving
A soul so pure and untouched by fear
Though far from me, still she is always near
Maa, I owe myself to you
The only way I can repay all my dues
My desire to be your mother in my next birth
Protect you from the thorns of hatred and loath
Decorate your life with all my dreams
Gift you a life of joy and a life of gleam
Every night I miss your goodnight kiss
I want to be with you, that's my only wish

“DIRECTIONALLY “YOURS…

It was neither a stormy night waiting to rain nor a night adorned with the gown of moonlight; it was a usual night after a tiring day for me unaware of the things to happen which would probably change my life forever. My life of practicality would have continued had I not met someone who changed the direction of my life. For the first time, I felt certain restlessness which had its moments of peace and ecstasy, waiting for someone became a moment of pleasure, and emotions took over my mind like never before. An inspiration, a guiding force, a never fading smile with an AWESOME charm to its persona, the person is someone who taught me to live a life with an exclamation.

Seems everything was destined to happen, just one fine day, my lady luck smiled and waived a magic wand and I wandering on the lonely roads happened to bump to a person who was definitely not in my book of “Would be Friends”. And, when there was an invitation to join them at CCD which includes one of our common friends, I tried my best to mould the facts, do a lot of reasoning to avoid them but as I said it was all destined to happen. The very fact that the person was dear to my two common friends; I tried my best not to be an addition to that list and be the third one in a row. But, once it started, our talks knew no end, it was an everlasting affair, and every talk was a cause for a new talk, the talks became a reason to our frequent meetings and believe me these were the talks which became the talk of my other friends. It was a strange sight for everyone to see two strangers bonding as if they know each other for ages. The person came as a soothing wind that put an end to my traumatic life, the mere touch of the person used to make me feel the eternal bliss of comfort and when the person used to sleep on my lap for hours, I used to feel the idyll, idyllic enough to see the person sleeping the whole night and forget the pain of my legs. I have no words to expound those moments.

“There were moments when our souls entwined felt the eternal love between each other and then there were moments of divine happiness. There were moments of pain and anguish and sometimes the moments of togetherness resonating in every moment of my life. Moments of beauty, moments of consent, moments of defiance, moments of love and amour, moments of separation, those precious moments have left footmarks in the path of my life and have written the untold saga of friendship”

For me the person is a desire that remains unfulfilled, a thirst that can never be quenched, a dream which is far from the boundaries of reality; an illusion illuminated forever, leaving me in an optative state of mind. After a constant battle of confusions, emotions, explanations and revelations, what remains is a memory, unfazed, untouched, treasured in my mind in the years to come!!!

The WORLD at HER FEET, SALUTE TO Womanhood!!!

Being a man has certainly not changed my outlook towards women. 8th March being International Women’s Day, I take this opportunity to salute few Indian women whom I consider an inspiration to me and the entire world who have nothing but to take a bow to their achievements.

Mother: She is the epitome of love, sacrifice and womanhood. One woman who might not have conquered the battle with men, but, the very fact of she fighting for her children is something which is laudable. The world at her feet, she is an inspiration for everyone to fight for your loved ones till your last breath. I salute to the “Mother”, and I love you MAA.

Indira Gandhi: In the murky world of politics dominated by men, she is one woman who has proved her mettle in the field of politics. A lady who rose to become the Prime Minister of the Republic of India for three consecutive terms from 1966 to 1977 and for a fourth term from 1980 until her assassination in 1984, a total of fifteen years. She was India's first and, to date, only female Prime Minister. This lady definitely needs a mention on my list of supreme womanhood.

Kiran Mazumdar Shaw: From the world of politics to the corporate boardrooms, this lady needs no introduction. People might be admiring Naina Lal Kidwai and Indra Nooyi, but my vote goes to Kiran Mazumdar Shaw. Kiran symbolizes dynamism and hope, an Indian entrepreneur, only she can make it to become Chairman & Managing Director of Biocon Ltd. From a civic activist, to art collection, to a house wife she has managed to reach the highest ladder of corporate beating her detractors. I salute Kiran for her extreme determination to make it big in a world where men have made a mark.

Late. Kalpana Chawla: A lady who has the power to turn imagination to reality, Late. Kalpana Chawla who went to become the first Indian woman to go in space. No Indian could stop raving about her when she made our country proud when her name was announced as one of the seven crew members of Columbia space shuttle. Due to an unfortunate accident met by Columbia, she is no more with us but yes, the name “Kalpana” inspires a lot of woman who dream to make it to the mysterious world of space till date.

Kiran Bedi: Justice has another name, no prizes for guessing, it’s Kiran Bedi!!! For people who believe that woman are weak and should stay at home, spare a thought. Kiran Bedi has become the first woman to join the Indian Police Service (IPS) in 1972. She not only went on to become one of the most reputed police officers in India but also has two NGOs to her credit. And, if that was not enough, there’s “Aap ki Kacheri” for you where Kiran does justice to those innumerable India who finds her the only ray of hope for them.

Madhuri Dixit: Do I need to say why everyone is mad about MADS??? She is just not an actress, but, a woman, who has so many shades to her persona. A talented and award winning actress, accomplishes dancer and yes a beloved mother of two, she is one woman who definitely deserves a place in my list. Awarded Padmashri, Madhuri has delivered some of the remarkable performances in her career. “Didi tera devar” is still a rage, thanks to her. On Women's International Day in 2007, Dixit topped Rediff's list of the Best Bollywood Actresses Ever. A smile that makes million hearts go dhak-dhak, Madhuri is surely an inspiration to a lot of women and they don’t shy to say “Main Madhuri Dixit banna chahati hoon…”

ONLY For YOU…

You are a special “YOU” in my life. It’s YOU who have changed me, for the better, for the worst. I have lived the best because of YOU and have experienced the worst because of YOU. I have loved YOU, hated YOU, cursed YOU and blessed YOU. Never been in my life the word “YOU” have mattered to me so much till I met YOU. YOU are my whole world; YOU are the answer of my prayers every morning and evening. YOU are a reason for all my desires to bloom and YOU are also a reason for all my hopes to die. I have wanted YOU so much in my life; YOU are the Beethoven only to rejoice me in the times of pain and anguish and sometimes YOU haunt in the Halloween night of separation.

I have lived a life in a moment because of YOU and died all my life because of YOU too. I have celebrated colors for YOU when life painted it with black and white and filled my life with darkness when YOU had nothing bright in your life. When everyone thanked god, I had my ranting for YOU and when nothing was right in my life, I smiled because everything was smooth for YOU. I have dreamt about YOU when my eyes were closed and dreamt about YOU when I was awake. YOU brought the curve on my face sometimes and there were tears rolling down numerous times because of YOU. YOU are always with me in every walk of my life being a shadow to me, and the journey just eases with YOU holding my hands and sometimes YOU slowly invading my thoughts. A thousand words of note for YOU or a letter of love for YOU, sometimes praising about YOU and sometimes speechless about YOU. YOU neither have a beginning in my life nor do YOU end anywhere.

I close my eyes to see YOU and even if I open my eyes, YOU are still in front of me. I breathe for YOU to live YOU and will die for YOU to continue living with you, our soul united and we experiencing the eternity in the emptiness…

Here, There and No where...

It’s time again to pack my bags, seal my memories, bid adieu to this city and head for a new journey to a new city. Like a vagabond, I have been roaming endlessly without a rhyme or reason. News of such kind generally escalates my mood and spirit goes high but this one seems to be a little different. Even my friend complained of me not having an upbeat voice after hearing the news from him and I lied to hide my real emotions. Yes, I still pretend. Years have passed; I still put a glow mask whenever such things happen so that people near to me feels I am happy. Having crossed the length and breadth of the cities, nothing excites me anymore. Neither the city dirt upset me nor does the sophistication uplift my happiness quotient. The essence remains unchanged, and the forthcoming events are nothing less than a useless addition to my life calendar.

Well, yes, I being neutral don’t affect people around me. While my friend sent a sweet sms late night which goes something like this “ Good friends are like Tom and Jerry, Sometimes small fights keep them apart, but they always come back together to run a long episode”, touched me. For him, the journey and the very excitement of staying together and enjoy those small sharing of emotions matters and yes it matters to me too, but what after that?? There is another friend of mine, who just said, “I will not congratulate you” and to that I said, “You need not congratulate me for anything which cannot alleviate my inner pain”. This is neither a moment of remorse nor a moment of celebration; it’s just a moment which exists and is here to stay for sometime. The achievement is frivolous and doesn’t matter to me. While some of my friends take pride working for the best financial institutions, and some enjoying cross culture outside the vicinity of their country and some just want to be stable for sometime, I am different from them. For me, the very fact of traversing through the corners of knowledge excites me. Being monotonous can kill me morally and I am strictly against committing moral suicide. I am sure, after 6-7 months, these whole series of events would be repeating and no, it’s neither a habit nor a passion for me to understand corporate culture, probably, it’s written in my destiny. My destiny to be here, there and finally nowhere…..