I was a DONKEY…

When we sometimes say, “Tu GADHA hai(you are a donkey)..”, we literally mean it..So, like every human being, even I was a DONKEY at some point of time. A boy with no brain, no thinking capability and used to blindly follow/listen to what others say. And, the result was SUFFERING!!!So, here goes my part of story when I was a literal DONKEY.Time and again, I have proved it and that too with a vengeance :)

During my 10th Pre-test exam, I like an innocent child sitting in the bus was mugging up all the hindi proverbs, author’s name, poems and prose for my HINDI exam. When we reached school, suddenly we came to know that due to the sudden demise of Chief Minister’s death, exam has been cancelled and the day has been declared a holiday. Like all students, I was pretty happy and merry making inside the bus and thanked the Chief Minister’s soul for passing away on that auspicious day. But, unlike all students, I forgot to ask whether the next exam would be HINDI or it would be conducted last. So, for the next two days, sitting at home, I only studied HINDI (we had breaks after every exam). Studying Hindi for 4 days had made me a master of Hindi Literature and I was in a position to talk anything and everything even in my sleep. Now, the D-Day arrived, the next exam day!!

I touched my maa’s feet and promised her that I would score the highest in Hindi paper in my class and like every mom, my MAA was proud of me thinking “MERA BETA KUCH KAR DIKHAYEGA!!”. Feeling proud of my achievement, I entered the class smiling and suddenly got a shock of my life. The whole class was busy turning the pages of SCIENCE book and I was the only one who entered with my HINDI book. I felt as if an earthquake had come, my legs started shaking and my whole body trembling and tears started rolling down my eyes. Seeing me crying like a woman who has just lost her husband, banging my head on the table, all my teachers came and started consoling and motivating me. They said, “Ashutosh, you can do well!! You have 15 mins for the exam to start” and I was like, “What the F***!! 15 mins and I had to complete Physics, Chemistry and Biology!!”. But, being an optimist since the day I was born, I started preparing for my science exam. Trust me, those 3 hours of exam were like 3 ages. And, then the big moment, facing the wrath of my PAPA.

Papa: Beta, how was your hindi exam?? I am sure, you would have done well (within a smile on his face)
Donkey Myself: Today, we had SCIENCE exam

And suddenly, the expression changed and if by any chance, I was not his son, he would have killed me that day for my stupidity…

Papa: Great, no wonder you would fail in SCIENCE exam this time and that too, 10th Pretest exam….

Days passed, and the results were declared. I took the report card and approached my father..

Papa:So, how much did you score in Science exam? 10??
Donkey Myself: NO
Papa: 20?
Donkey Myself: N0
Papa:30??
Donkey Myself: No
Papa: Did you pass the Science exam??
Donkey Myself: I scored 54 out of 100….

And, then, I could see a big smile on my PAPA’s face!! Can you believe and imagine a father hugging a son for scoring 54 out of 100 in Science exam?? But, that day, this miracle happened!!! My Papa was proud to have a donkey son!!!

So, you see, the donkeys can be unpredictable too…

And, then, in one of the organizations, like every other employee, I was doing timepaas with my colleague bitching about my project manager in office communicator in one window and chatting with my project manager discussing about the release of newsletter in the other window. Taking the legacy of donkeyness ahead, the donkey in ME couldn’t have done good to myself. So, here it goes….

This is something I wrote in the chat window

” You know HE is a DOG, bloody, he has screwed my ass like anything. He thinks me as a donkey and asks me to take up the responsibilities of others. Am I a donkey?? If at all I get a chance, I will just shoot him. He is a big time ASSHOLE…”

and pressed ENTER!!!

And, then happily working, I wondered, why my friend has not replied to my innovative ways of bitching my manager. I opened a new window (since I closed the window the last time I spoke to her) and asked

Donkey Me: What happened? You didn’t reply…Do you love the manager or what?
Namrata: I didn’t receive any message
Donkey me: How can it be possible?? I just sent it to you.
Namrata: Are you sure you send it to me only??

And, when I checked, the other chat windows, BANG, I had sent that innovative message to my manager as an answer to the release of Newsletter. No wonder, my manager called me to his desk. I knew, that day was going to be my last day in HSBC.

My Manager: Was the message for me??
DONKEY Me: No. Not at all….
My Manager: AM I A DONKEY?
Donkey Me: That remains to be seen if you believe my words(thinking in my mind). Well, I was actually talking about the Professor in my college. You know, you are a nice manager, don’t you?? I mean common, you are the one from whom I have learnt a lot. How can I say bad things about you??You are an example of perfection to the whole team (HARAMKHORI at my BEST :) )

Manager (A big smile on his face): Thanks Ashutosh!! I am proud to have you in my team

No wonder, he proved me right believing me. So, as I said before, every human being was a DONKEY at some point of his life. Now, if you think, it’s a behaviour of a DONKEY to publicly accept being a donkey in the past now infront of everyone, then it remains to be seen…

“Dimaag hai khaali aur soch aadha,
papa se kiya tha maine jo wadaa,
bana na main koi doctor ya engineer
reh gaya banke sirf main GADHA!!!!