Mysticism Unfolded

What “You” mean to ME…..!!!

2011-10-22T00:44:00.000-07:00

My life of 30 years suddenly came to a standstill that day when I composed my first song, wrote my first poetry, inspired by YOU and written for YoU. The fame was instant, recognition came pouring. YOU showed me the path to love YoU and the first time I called YoU, there was no looking back. YOU have witnessed my journey from crush to infatuation to love to madness. The first time I narrated a tale, it was about YoU and Me but YoU were unaware of a beautiful story being written, read and praised but without YOU, publishing my first story would have been a near impossibility.

The first time I bought a camera, I had dreams of capturing YoU in my lenses someday. YOU have always appreciated my good work with the hope of seeing someday clicking YoU and keeping those images in mind to cherish forever in my life. YOU have been on a journey with me so long for more than 3 years now, and trust me, it seems as if it was a raining night yesterday with thunder and me and YOU walking on the road with an umbrella and drenching preparing ourselves to celebrate the unforgotten never ending saga of friendship which was somewhere waiting to be written and if it would not have happened that one day if at all we would not have taken some moments to sip tea together. Don’t remember the taste of the tea or the colour of the tea cup but yes, I do remember every little thing about YoU on that particular day. On a journey to complete two years but it seems as if I know YoU since ages.

My Journey starts with YOU and probably ends with YoU. I find my success with YOU and end my failures with YoU. I have laughed with YOU and shed my tears for YoU. Definition of LOVE was never the same after meeting YOU and experiencing LOVE was never the same after meeting YoU. YOU were a breeze which changed my life forever and YoU as a storm swayed me away and I was never the same there after. The music which made me shake my legs because of YOU and the songs which I hummed because of YoU. Those sleepless, drunken nights shouting and hooting in a pub with YOU and everytime I was drunk, I remembered YoU and shared those drunken moments with YoU. Those freaking shopping, moving from lanes to streets, malls to bazaars with YOU, and making a point to courier those precious little things that I could buy for YoU and sending it to YoU. Yes, I still have those COURIER RECEIPTS with me till date with YoUr name written on it. Waking YOU up for those Saturday morning movies and YOU yelling at me “ ONLY I can drag you to an early Saturday morning movie” and everytime, I watched those movies, I felt as if YoU would like the movies too and instantly texting YoU the reviews of the movies.

Yes, my life of 30 years suddenly came to a standstill after “You” came in my life. I felt like a teenager, behaved like a teenager and enjoyed the moments like a teenager. I summed my entire life and dedicated these two years as my whole life. “You” are the achievements of my life. 2011 and “You” moved to a land of dreams to pursue happiness and achieve something bigger in life leaving me with a question mark. And, there I stand graduating from a teenager to a matured person today. The biggest of dreams, bigger pursuits, everything BIG has taken the form of a SMALL HOPE, a hope of meeting “You” someday, bringing back those old memories which I call my “LIFE”, to make “You” realize, that my sole existence rests on “You”…..Yes, “You” and truly “You” are my LIFE, MY BIGGEST DREAM, MY BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT, MY SUCCESS and everything that makes me proud….

MY SINCERE THANKS to YOU and YoU in short, “You”!!!!!

I DEDICATE THIS SONG to "You", one of my favourites...Here it goes..A Royal Bow to Bryan Adams...

I swear to "You" I will always be there for "You".
Nothin' I won't do.
I promise "You" all my life I will live for "You".
We will make it through.
Forever we will be,Together "You" and me.
When I hold ya, nothin' can compare.
With all of my heart, ya know
I'll always be right there.

Disclaimer: This is ENTIRELY a work of FICTION!! It has nothing to do with my life....Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental and unintentional!!

Wake Up….

2011-04-03T19:02:00.000-07:00

You are in deep sleep and suddenly someone kisses on your forehead, wakes you up and makes you realize that there is a morning to look forward. This morning is a special one, special for the reason that this one morning change your life, change the way you live your life, change your perspective and you change because of the person who makes you realize the beautiful morning and the day ahead….

Truly, “WAKE UP SID” still remains a favourite movie of mine, needless to mention, because of the sheer honesty in which all the characters are portrayed. There is a SID and AYESHA in everyone of us…At one point of time, we all were a bunch of boys, carefree and dependent on our parents but then the dreams, ambitions brought the transition and we graduated from BOYS to MAN. We all have gone through the stage of FRIENDSHIP, having that one friend in our life whom we tag as “3 am Friend”, with whom we have just not shared our lives but ourselves too…In short, they are our reflection, someone who made us realize who we are, what we should do and our life is worth living…And, yes, like every true friend, we have also been through the stages of misunderstanding and rift…but then like RISHI, LAKSHMI and SID, true friends always come back together to live their life together….Yes, at times, we get betrayed and feel cheated, when we don’t find our friends besides us when we need them the most but then, even if they are not physically present, you can always feel the sense of belongingness in their absence.There is an assurance that somewhere my friends do think about me and they do miss me too the way I miss them….They are just not friends, they become our soulmates….

Am I missing something?? That one important thing that becomes the sheer reason for you to wake up everyday, that one person who is your world…the day starts and ends with the person..wherever he/she is doesn’t matter, the feeling itself is precious..and it’s invariably called as “LOVE”. We may be desperately searching for that one perfect person in our lives who can fit in every frame but then there is a beauty in imperfection!! Behind every maturity, there is a childishness which peeps in, behind every understanding, there are fights…sometimes, the best of friends becomes the love of your life and no, it’s not something which can be measured…rather, it’s something which can only be felt. The reason for your existence becomes that one person who is behind making your life beautiful….AISHA might have seen her BOSS to be a PERFECT partner but then she found that for life to get complete, there should be a bit of incompleteness, maturity might bring that near perfection but then the child inside can bring the happiness which we all long for….We all long for that one person who change the meaning of our LIFE alltogether….Suddenly, we love RAINS, we get hooked to romantic songs, we wear the COLOURS that we otherwise would never wear and as they say, it’s LOVE which brings a MIRACLE!!!

Waking Up has never been so refreshing…all it takes is to open your eyes, feel the warmth and you realize that there is a beautiful journey ahead with someone standing besides you holding your hands and help you take the journey….Are you still sleeping????

Goonjaa sa hai koi Iktara…..

RELATIONSHIP..Trying to RELATE!!

2011-03-24T05:13:00.001-07:00

Every morning you wake up alone to find yourself amidst people, people who call themselves as your family, friends, colleagues. And, if there is no name, then a stranger perhaps!! Everyday, you wake up with an agenda, call your family ask whether they need money, ask your friends if they can pick you up from your home, ask your colleagues if they can inform the manager about your sudden leave..the list goes on….and, suddenly, one day, the people for whom you were striving day in and day out…keeps you waiting, plants a hope in your eyes, makes you believe your worthy being…days pass, months and then years…there is a silence, silence that kills, silence that keeps you wondering..what was your mistake!!! The people who didn’t have a life beyond you at one point of time suddenly refuses to own up the responsibility….The only thing that they show you in the mirror is your fault..your fault of being caring, your fault of being possessive, your fault of being involved, your fault of being emotional…faults and long list of faults…SIGH!!!

You keep questioning yourself…doubt your actions, whine, shed tears….shout on top of your voice, yell, yearn and request for them to come back in your life….but no, they will never come..there might not be a change in your agenda, but their agenda is changed…they have someone better in their life to look for, suddenly your life in their life is miniscule, they find you handicapped of not being someone who can fulfill their desires…suddenly your life is worthless for them….you are dead, numb..clueless wandering to search the truth, the truth behind the departure..departure of your family, love, friends and those countless relations for whom you had given your blood and soul, in short, your life!!

Everything falls apart like a castle of sand…and you are left alone in this world…just alone!! Like a vagabond, you move from places to places, destinations to destinations to do better in your life, if not others, atleast you make an effort to value yourself…in a journey, you come across shadows, fight with them, defeat them and take the courage to go ahead suddenly to find those people who wakes up one fine morning to realise your worth, what they have lost in their life….and expect you to come back in their life again…..Wondering, what you should do??? Read the answer below to what I have done….

ANSWER: Once you are gone from my life, you are gone forever!!!!

I and ME……

2011-02-21T23:51:00.000-08:00

Lived Forever and Died Everyday
Breathless,clueless, waiting for the Doomsday
Clinging to my past, Holding my present
And, slowly let go, my future effervescent

Died forever and Lived Everyday
“Never say Never”, I chose to say
Defeating my past, Inspiring my present
Build a castle out of my future effervescent

A voyage filled with pebbles and thorns
Tales of failures are all I adorn
The sands of time have eroded my dreams
Restless, my wandering soul with moments of gloom

An adventure in life is what I look for
Pebbles and thorns filled roads are what I adore
Run ahead of my sleep to fulfill my dreams
To rejoice life and forget the moments of gloom

Everytime I loved, I have been hated by all
The love demised and the ego stood tall
Been accused and loathed for the selfless love of mine
Helpless I stand, left to cry and whine

Though hated by all, still I manage to love
Love is all I have to live my life for
Spread my wings with a desire to rise above
Just hold me tight for once and make my life worth to live for…..

Tales of a LOVER.....

2010-12-01T23:41:00.001-08:00

Passing by those murky lanes filled with the fragrance of desire
Echoing voices loathing the ever-burning lover’s pyre
The last words written on the walls of the infamous street
The chained souls died apart and longed to meet

Passing by those murky lanes, warned by the restless passers-by
Never to pass the limit and let my desires die
Forbidden desires are all I have to live for
Not ashamed of being beaten, stoned or called a whore
If death is the only answer of my love to survive
Let another lover burn of being a love deprive

Passing by those murky lanes, listening to the hymns of peace
The humans, animals and “love-haters” enchanted by peace
Enraged with disbelief, questioning the existence of peace
Will there be peace if at all the love is allowed to cease??

The twilight bewitched brightened the walls of the infamous streets
A second tale was written of the lover who never meets
Lying unfazed, numb, breathless, they vow to die
Only to narrate the tale to every lover who crosses the streets

A Writer Speaks….err… Writes

2010-12-01T23:40:00.000-08:00

A Writer can be an inspiration, bring revolution or be a source of controversies. A Writer can originate from a single mind or represent innumerable voices. The status quo of a Writer is always questioned, for a Writer deserves laurels or someone who is just spoken of and then forgotten. A Writer irks the nerves of the readers, makes them sit, think and notice of things that are ignored by them in a day-to-day life, in short, a writer re-writes the missed experiences of its readers, gives them a chance to think and react.

I have been writing since childhood; have evolved from being a childish to a thoughtful writer. When I first wrote a poem during my 5th standard, people around me appreciated my efforts though it was nothing more than a meaningless rhyming of vowels and consonants but then when I write today, it’s a different ballgame altogether. More than appreciation, its recognition, recognition of my thought process, recognition of my views and opinions and recognition of a person called “Ashutosh”. I, like thousand of writers who have still not made a name in this field and can certainly not be tagged as the prolific ones, still manage to grab some eyeballs. As it’s truly said, for every writer, it has its own audience. Someone who writes love letter, there is a lover to read the passion filled words. Someone who writes songs of freedom, there is a follower who makes it as an anthem and then there are people, who write for themselves.

Our society would not have been called a “Society” without Writers!!! They are the ones who teach, preach and inculcate beliefs, superstitions, morality, religion and life to be specific. Writers are more than someone with a pen and paper; they are the people who drive a nation. A nation which always needs fodder for thought, writers can be influential creatures, influencing not only a nation but a civilization in itself.

This piece of write-up is a tribute to all those writers,who believe in writing…That reminds me a song of Enrique, tweaked to fit this piece of writing..

“You can run, you can hide but can’t escape my Writing “

...And, the Reason is YOU!!!

2010-11-03T00:05:00.000-07:00

“I want you to know
I found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and, the reason is you…”

I was not prepared, almost in a state of oblivion. Never knew that someone has already invaded the fort of my mind and slowly trying to capture it. The only person I have listened is myself and the only person who influenced me was myself again but then I was submissive, almost in a state to surrender. I started doing things which I would not have done in the wildest of my dreams, wore colours which were never a reflection of my identity, listened to music which was never my genre, read books as if I was a voracious reader since long…in short, started living a life which was never mine. A life which was dictated by someone, controlled and moulded by the wishes of someone sitting far yet was near enough to sweep me off my feet.
Confusions, trapped in so many unanswered questions, I was schizophrenic. I could see someone infront of my eyes, with eyes open and sometimes my eyes closed, in reality and in my dreams. No, I am neither mad nor in a state of illusion, I am just confident, confident of the trust I have and the faith that I have instilled despite so many unsuccessful attempts for the faith to go wrong. It’s no more a smooth journey as the destiny is to unfurl some surprises, good or bad, but effective enough to change the destination. The fiction which started with fictional characters has now become a reality. All the reel life occurrences have turned real life events.
And, if someone asks me, whether I am happy to live this new life with an uncertain future, then my answer is “ HELL YES”!! This uncertainty has certainly brought some stability to my life. I have been a wanderer before searching for shoulders to rest upon and ears to hear me, but now, I have someone who is nothing less than an address to me, an address where I virtually stay with the person everytime, an address to where I parcel my feelings and emotions and an address where that someone is perhaps waiting for me.
Countless moments wrapped since ages, feels like I have almost lived an era…An era of ME, An era of You and An era of reasons TO BE WITH YOU……..

Disclaimer: Don’t take this write-up in literal sense.It’s kind of fictional and has nothing to do with my real life…..

A Nation less told,most ignored...

2010-10-26T03:03:00.001-07:00

India is in a pitiable state..period!! No matter whether the sensex touches 20K or the country hosts CWG, it’s divided, and no, being divided is no diversified. India is in a pitiable state because the country gives full freedom to communal killers, mass murderers, looters, rapists, and those who prey on the poorest of the poor roam free. Justice never comes easy. The media and politicians engage themselves in ruthless conversations, arguments, discussions and ignore the most important issues crippling the nation. It’s a nation, less told and most ignored. It’s a nation of corrupts and hypocrites who believes in the game of double standards.

So, while today morning, I was wondering whether the ban call on burqa by the Shiv Sena was at all a right move, my morals questioned me of the people who are questioning my identity and stopping me from practicing my religion. What’s the use of shouting on top of our voice of our country being secular when we cannot give them the basic respect to any particular religion? A nation which creates a furore on certain Ms. Roy’s comments and charging her of sedition but not taking any step on the poor state of affairs in one of the most controversial regions of India. Corruption has always a way out in this nation, even reputed institutions like IIT Kharagpur is no exception where a professor is charged of distributing fake certificates and even Kalmadi having the balls to prove himself right on the opening ceremony of CWG.

I being an Indian feel sad not for this country but for the people residing her. I feel sadder when I see countless children struggling on the roads of Kashmir than feeling happier of Indians winning gold medals. I feel disappointed while reading the news of rape and murder of young women every other day than feeling elated on reading the news of Saina or Sania making a name in the field of sports.

And, no, we cannot escape the pity by saying every country has its own problems because everytime we make this excuse, a victim will question, “What have we done to stop this?” like the lakhs of people who are still waiting for 26/11 justice. There is no hope, justice dies a silent death in this nation……

A City....

2010-10-22T02:25:00.000-07:00

Away from buzzing life of the city, I took some time to introspect. Why am I cribbing going to Kolkata?? Places never really mattered to me, I have travelled and stayed almost in all the cosmos and metros like Mumbai, Chennai, Bangalore, Hyderabad, Delhi but every time I leave Pune, there is a sense of dissatisfaction. Truly said, a city is a city because of its people. A city is a home because of someone special who resides in that city and our life run parallel to theirs. Not necessarily, I feel for something only if I stay… I have a special attachment with Mumbai and I have a special attachment with Hyderabad too. Pune is a place where I completed my education, it’s a place which is responsible for my transition from a boy to a man, it’s a place where I struggled for a life, it’s a place where I have gained identity.

Everything has been said, repeated and exhausted, there is nothing much to say about the cities…every breathe that we take weave a new tale and become an experience of sorts. Conscious or unconscious, everytime, we talk about cities, we end of talking about people. They are the ones who make your life memorable in a city. For Pune, I owe it to two of my good friends, without whom Pune would not have been Pune for me. Every single day that I have spent here is a tribute to our takes of friendship, whether it’s waking up early morning after a booz in the night to catch up an early morning show at e-square to save money or roaming around in the lanes of pune enjoying a nightout in cold December night. Whether it’s lazily lying around on the sofas on CCD and discussing people or painting the town red and purple with shopping!!! I might have mighty hated Chennai but then I have someone in my life today because of Chennai, I might have a harrowing experience in Mumbai, but then, it’s Mumbai who helped me identify true friends in my life.

Every city comes with someone special in your life. Every city brings a new hope in the form of someone who helps realize the importance of your life. Being a vagabond, I have had the best experience that a life can offer in the form of people. It’s people who makes and it’s the people who breaks…

Kolkata…I am coming!! In an unknown journey, the only thing I expect is to find that someone who can be a reason for me to be in KOLKATA….

Virtual COMPANIONSHIP!!!

2010-09-15T01:55:00.000-07:00

With the advent of Messengers, Facebook, Twitter, Orkut….”Friendship” has taken a new face alltogether!! While some are still confused, whether it’s friendship, I would call it as “Virtual Companionship” to be on the safer side!! So, while Hawan is still confused whether Aahuti is his friend, Aahuti seems damn sure that nothing seems promising than naming “Companionship” as “Friendship”…Why??

1. What’s the use of going to the other town to meet Hawan or need of Hawan visiting her when everything can be shared through messengers??

2. Chatting through messengers really don’t set any expectations..It’s a burden free friendship…

3. As they say, the more you stay close, the more you get to know each other and the more you start hating each other after some point of time..so, better be STRANGERS yet be good Companions..err..FRIENDS!!! FAMILIARTY breeds CONTEMPT…

While Hawan still refuses to believe that Virtual Companions can ever be called as BEST FRIENDS even though they are virtually together everyday but then Aahuti believes that TRUST can be built..though it might not be real..but virtual trust per se…

But then, you see, life itself is so disconnected!! It’s not possible evertime to be in the city of your friends and spend some good time…so, the best way to remain connected is to get hooked on to Messengers, FB, Orkut, Twitter etc….That’s probably the reason God created Human Beings and Human Beings created Social Networking Sites and Social Networking Sites created “Virtual Companionship”… Gone are the days, when there was an excitement of visiting to the other city, sit with your friends and have a booze or visit a discotheque to shake a leg!! Gone are the days, when friends would get a company transfer to the other city just because some of his very good friends are there in that city….And, if some foolish like Hawan attempted to do that, they were bitten and that too again and again!!!

Hawan tried a lot of times to pursue Aahuti to visit his city or even hinted at him visiting Aahuti’s city..she somehow resisted it!! Aahuti and Hawan know each other for more than 1 year…same company…office communicator…and on holidays, GTALK came to their rescue…and if nothing worked, Aahuti slowly started calling Hawan on his mobile and that too happened after 6-7 months of knowing each other!!!

Is this “Virtual Companionship” leading somewhere or going to vanish after sometime?? Aahuti is sure of an onsite soon and Hawan is looking for a change in job…..How often you all have taken the pain of breaking the barriers of Chats, FB, Orkut and packed your bags to the other city to meet the person you want to be with?? What will be the motivating factor for you to just say “NO” once to all the social networking you have been doing all this while and actually visit the person..Will ever Hawan and Aahuti meet?? This seems a BIG question indeed…a question bothering Hawan for sure but not Aahuti….

Have your presence for real on my blog to know about Virtual Companions, Hawan and Aahuti coz there is a HAWAN and AAHUTI in each one of us!!!

Disclaimer: There is no surety of having a PART 2 of this story…but as they say..NEVER SAY “NEVER” and needless to mention, this story is entirely fictitious and any characters bearing any resemblance to any person in real, living or dead, is purely unintentional and coincidental!!!

What Failure teaches you which Success Can’t??

2010-09-07T01:14:00.000-07:00

This is not something taken directly from the pages of a certain Robin or Khera but from someone who have seen failures, or things which people consider as a failure….

For Cancer Survivor, Lisa Ray, breathing moments was not that easy when she got diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. For a celebrity like her, it was almost a failure of life after a string of success. But then, today, when she has successfully battled and defeated death, she knows the importance of life and love…as she says , “Love is an action. It’s not a feeling. And its not love until there’s evidence of action….”…..how true….It’s during these moments, you test the real people and get to know whether they actually love you and have the courage to stand besides you…Failure sometimes teaches you the importance of love or to differentiate between the fake and loved ones….

I remember, while sitting idle for 1.5 months without jobs, almost everyone of them whom I used to consider as my friends turned their back…being “jobless” is still considered as a heinous crime, a shame…and I was not “Jobless” by choice, it was by destiny….

Everytime, I used to feel low, I simply used to take a trip to Juhu Beach….Believe me, those 45 days of failure has taught a lot to me…it has taught me to remain unaffected by both success and failure, it has taught me to be compassionate for there are others who are less fortunate than me, it has taught me to value every moment of my life and most important, it has taught me to celebrate every small success that we human beings forget to recognize with the desire of achieving something great…..

“When you fail, you learn” is a passe….I would say, “Experience Failure with Elan” for there is something more you achieve than just learning, “You achieve SUCCESS of tackling a FAILURE“…

People do ask me about my success…How am I successful in my life inspite of having so many failures in my life??…I say, I am successful….I have a family who are proud of me being the person I am, I am associated with some NGOs and donate a part of my earnings to them, I have friends for whom I have been a mentor, I have associated myself with a lot of activities, I am an orator, dancer, writer…..Now, if at all success can be quantified, then my inner happiness is the answer to my success and if at all I can quantify my failures, then, I attribute the “HUMANITY” in me to my failures….

Having said that, I end this piece of writing saying..”I fail only to succeed“……

Waiting for an Apocalypse…

2010-08-17T23:46:00.001-07:00

A year of pleasure, a year of pain
A moment of love, all I want to gain
Been in a journey with a stranger so long
A faith, I instill, that can never go wrong
Thousand voices warning me to be away from it
To alleviate my faith and doubt a bit
Have tried to be away and hate umpteen times
Bit the dust and failed every time
Been enchanted by sweet words and the hues of mauve
Still believe, I cannot be hopeless in love
Since, there is always a hope before I chase
Reminiscing the past, my good old days
Want my fictional life to end very soon
Bid adieu forever and stand maroon
All I am waiting for an Apocalypse to happen …..

WOES of a LOO....

2010-07-22T02:48:00.001-07:00

Everytime I use a public loo, it turns out to be an experience of sorts. Loos in offices, theatres, shopping malls, railway station, airports etc are filled with people of various species and I will stick to MALE SPECIES because I have never seen how a WOMEN LOO look like…..So, coming back to the point, going to a loo freakes me out, not because it’s a loo but because of the kind of people who comes to the loo to take a leak……

1. The first and most irritating ones are those, who stand for hours and hours leaking!! In fact, they are not interested in completing their business and leave the washroom but keep on standing there and look others leaking, singing, whistling etc..etc… They are the ones who strictly believes in, the only place available to flaunt their “DUDEISM” is inside the LOO….They are least bothered even if three others are standing behind them dying to take a leak……Disgusting!!!

2. The second variety are those who comes to the “LOO”, well, to see “How come on earth they are so beautiful??”!!! They stand infront of the mirror blocking the wash basin. They apply water on their hair, making it look more horrible which they think as “FUNKY”!! Even if everything is in place, they still need to open their pants, take their shirts out, tuck in again and if that was not enough….again, put WATER on their HAIR!!! Freaking A****

3. And, then, there are some who are always in a hurry to leak. They don’t mind watching the direction of their apparatus while leaking. They just CLOSE thier EYES in ECSTACY and take a leak and the poor guy who stands besides him leaking, his shoes gets wet by the drops of the other guy…And, I have been a victim of this!!! Grrrr…………

4. The best place to talk to your girl friends is LOO!!! That’s the MANTRA few people follows….Come inside the loo, stand to take a leak and talk for hours in your mobile and talk to your girl friends. Loo is the only place where a lot of break-ups, hook-ups, fights, quarrels etc. takes place..Worst, when you watch a bad movie and then have to bear their stories!!

5. The worst is yet to come…..Some people find “LOO” the best place to give your telephonic job interviews. Comfortably sit on the commode and clear your technical, functional and HR Interviews. And, the rest waiting ooutisde the loo are fools hoping you to clear your interview or else there is a high probability of their stomach being cleared outside the loo!!

6. And, then there are some LOOS where that wall is not there between two urinals. There are some guys who fall under the “VERY SHY” category. They stand infront of the urinal, wait for the people besides them to leave and then only they take a leak…They think the whole motive of the people coming inside the loo is to check their apparatus…They give all those dirty stares as if the others are gay!!! They forget that there are more important things for the people waiting behind them to complete their stuff and leave that urinal for use!!! Disgusting to the core……

Some people forget that PUBLIC Loos are afterall PUBLIC!!! But, strangely, there are whole lot of things which are done inside a PUBLIC LOO, and I thought, it’s used only for leaking!!!

No, I am not a frustrated soul, but a victim of those innumerable stunts performed by those insane people who thinks LOOs as their private space…

BALLZ!!!

2010-07-01T03:29:00.001-07:00

Guys and Gals, well, you must be wondering what this post is all about…simple, it’s about BALLZ!!! Everyone talking about Spain, Portugal,Brazil and the Foot”BALL” fever is there everywhere..only I am the one who is not touched by this BALL!! Coz, my life has become a big BALL..People kicks it in the direction they want me to go….trust me, the matches of my life are more interesting than the football matches….

The importance of BALLZ illuminated my life during my MBA…When we were struggling for placements in the college, and the frustrated students including ME went to the Placement Co-ordinator to ask whether any company would be visiting our campus, his reply was “BALLZ“!!!

And, then, a friend of mine, we used to call her “ALLAH KI BANDII” (she always used to look up and talk to us) went to the Director of our college to settle this issue, when she returned, we asked, if anything materialized, her reply was “BALLZ” and when we asked the meaning of that, she replied “TWO BALLZ“…..So, that very day, I realized…everything is BALLZ…You just need to know the art of tactfully playing it…

Okay, coming to BALLZ, many of the people don’t have it…BALLZ to raise their voice for truth, BALLZ to fight against injustice, BALLZ to stand for the right!! BALLZ to their life….A life dictated and designed by others is a life worst than a dog…

Then, there’s literally some BALLZ, eye ballz, rum ballz etc..Sometimes, it’s a different BALL game and sometime, we all have a BALL when we freak out or party..so, you see..BALLZ BALLZ everywhere…aage se peechhe tak, upar se neeche tak…it’s all BALLZ…sar se leke paon tak…daayein haath se lekar baayein haath tak..there are BALLZ….

BEHOLD BALLZ my friends!!!

And, if someone accuses me of writing non-sense in a THURSDAY afternoon, BALLZ to him/her :)

I AM.....

2010-06-24T01:54:00.000-07:00

On sunday, I was watching the “I AM-SHE Contest” on Television, organized by India’s first Miss Universe, the dignified and beautiful Sushmita Sen for choosing the Indian Contendor for this year’s Miss Universe Contest to be held at Las Vegas and suddenly a beautiful thought came across my mind…

Every single day, I have questioned myself about the reason for my existence and identity and I am sure it would have happened to most of you. The very reason for your being on this earth is stilll questionable to yourself. Every single day, I have to struggle relating myself to different people in my life whom I meet at different crossroads. I am Ashutosh, I am a bengali, I am an Indian, I am a Hindu and the list goes on.…Life becomes very difficult sometimes to give myself a new identity everyday and in turn come across innumerable people like me.

As Sushmita Sen puts it ” World would be a beautiful place to stay if we believe in just “I AM”, no Ashutosh, no bengali, no hindu, nothing…but just a simple I AM“….The chaos, struggle, battles, confusions can be put to rest simply by eliminating everything that comes after “I AM”. “I am” is enough for all people in this world to survive and relate to each other. Every child is born with the same flesh and same blood but we human beings being the selfish lot, show those two innocent eyes the difference between a HINDU and a MUSLIM, make their little ears hear “the best of our religion and hatred towards others” and that’s where the very identity of that little child becomes questionable.

I am is what I am born to be, and that is a HUMAN BEING and continue to be a HUMAN BEING…Forgetting all the other things, I AM a part of HUMAN RACE who believe in HUMANITY and work towards leveraging the lives of other HUMANS..Isn’t that enough???

This is my guest entry to TONMOY DREAM LABS , a very dear friend of mine who has created an INDIVIDUALITY of himself and given a platform for bringing the best ideas together of the same human race and help everyone learn and gain knowledge…

I am BACK!!!

2010-06-13T22:30:00.001-07:00

After near about 4 years, Saaransh has come to India. He decides to visit his old home which he left after his separation with Pari. He asks his driver to take him to their old home in Meerut. It’s too hot in Delhi and again going for 3-4 hours drive to Meerut would be tiring but Saaransh just wants to see his home once before he goes back to US.

Everything is still the same, the dusty roads, traffic and unruly punk drivers ruling Delhi roads. While driving, he asks his driver to play some ghazals….

“Kiyaa hai pyar jise humne dillagi ki tarah
woh aashiyana bhi mila humse ajnabee ki tarah”….

A soothing music, and an air-conditioned ambience, Saaransh closes his eyes for sometime. Suddenly, driver puts a break and Saaransh wakes up. He can see his old home infront of his eyes, with gates and doors open. Perhaps, in the absence of anyone, burglers would have tried to enter and loot the house…but there was nothing in that house except for some unfazed memories….

“It’s Saaransh’s and Pari’s HEAVEN” still hangs on the door and it’s strange not even a single layer of dust is there on the nameboard. But, still he takes out his hanky, the same old hanky which Pari gifted him few years back and wipes on the nameboard to remove even if there is no dust. Saaransh always used to scold Pari for gifting him HANKIES because he believed that one should never gift hankies to his/hear dear ones since it brings a strain in the relationship and perhaps, when they separated, his belief became stronger…

He enters the room to see everything in order, covered with white sheets…The clock is still working and showing the date as 13th June.. He is surprised to see how come the clock can work even after 4 years when no one has entered the house.

Suddenly, someone from back comes and clings to his legs calling “Papa”!!! He is shocked to see a small boy clinging him as if he knows him. He takes the child in his arms and asks his name. The boy just kisses Saaransh on his cheeks and says he is “Sparsh“. There is a certain belongingness while holding him in his arms, even before Saaransh could react, he sees someone infront of him wearing a blue saree, standing straight and wishes him “HAPPY MARRIAGE ANNIVERSARY“…..

Angels are always beautiful and Pari is no expection….With a smile on her face, she says to Saaransh that SPARSH is his son… There’s already tears in Saaransh’s eyes. 4 years, and he is standing infront of Pari and his son…Someone whom he loved more than himself and perhaps still loves…probably, that’s the reason he never re-married anyone else in these 4 years…

There is a complete silence in the room…and as they say, sometimes “SILENCE is GOLDEN“…

Outside it begins to rain….Yes, monsoons have arrived….and this monsoon is certainly going to bring smiles on some faces…

DISCLAIMER: The story is entirely fictional and any characters or events having any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental and unintentional.

I DESIRE...

2010-03-03T18:18:00.000-08:00

I will be talking on one of the most desirable human emotions called “DESIRE”…..And, the beauty of this poem would be “The inter-linking of this emotion with the 9 other emotions LUST, GREED,LOVE, JOY, PASSION, HATRED, FEAR,ANGER and OBSESSION”…..So, here goes DESIRE in the form of a POEM…..

I DESIRE for a night full of desires
Fantasies lying naked, and wishes flying high
Me finding you, making myself lost
Yes, I desire a night wrapped with LUST

I DESIRE for a life full of fame
A life of wealth, money, power and name
Making a world for me is all I need
Yes, I desire a life full of GREED

I DESIRE someone to care for me
Draped like an angel, a beautiful she
With a magical wand spinning ecstacy above
Yes, I desire to know the meaning of LOVE

I DESIRE my good old days of play
Making paper boats and weaving dreams all day
Leave the life of a man and be a boy
Yes, I desire to live again a life of JOY

I DESIRE to write till I die
Shades of love, betrayal and lies
Entwining the saga of emotional tales
Yes, I desire to write PASSION plays

I DESIRE to spread the wings of love
A harbinger of peace like a dove
Ceasing the bloodshed and pain of wound
Yes, I desire to destroy the HATRED around

I DESIRE not to panic seeing the tears
The sight of losing people who are near
Life of agony and series of failure
Yes, I desire to forget the bouts of FEAR

I DESIRE to be serene and truly shine
To err is human and to forgive is divine
Ready to be calm and take it as an answer
Yes, I desire to control my ANGER

I DESIRE to win and never to lose
Of many an options that I can choose
Life is a battle and sometimes a race
Yes, I desire to get OBSESSED with Success

GAY-TOGETHER- FICTION

2010-02-16T07:33:00.000-08:00

It’s been 10 years that the Engineering Batch of 2000 is meeting for a get-together in the College Canteen this Valentines Day. Everyone is nostalgic and happy to see each other after a gap of 10 years. A lot has changed in these 10 years, some have got married, some have just returned from Onsite and some have managed to complete their MBA and working in big Investment and Consulting Companies. Everyone is busy hugging and greeting each other but Charitra is somewhere standing near the corner, alone, wearing a specs, a rugged denim jacket with a letter in his hand, waiting for someone to come.

Suddenly, his eyes sees Ruhaan entering the canteen with a girl and a small kid in his shoulder. Even after 10 years, Ruhaan looks the same. He is “STYLE” personified with an ever-charming smile on his face. Charitra is in a fix whether to approach Ruhaan or not. For few moments, he tries to hide himself thinking to tear the letter he is holding in his hand. Sweating, he goes to the washroom, splashes water on his face and stands numb for sometime. Suddenly, someone from back….

Ruhaan: Kaisa hai tu?? (How are you?)
Charitra turns his head and sees Ruhaan infront of him with a smile on his face….
Charitra: I am fine. That, girl and kid….
Ruhaan: That’s my wife “Shaista” and my son “Suhail”….
Charitra: Ohh, nice to see that. I am happy for you…..
Ruhaan: What about you?? You married??
Charitra: No, just couldn’t forget someone…the letter is still with me, I would have questioned myself 100 times why did it happen??

Saying this, tears starts rolling down Charitra’s eyes….Seeing Charitra crying, Ruhaan hugs him and perhaps, that’s the moment Charitra been waiting for 10years. He can feel the same warmth and affection from Ruhaan.

Ruhaan: Let’s go out. I will introduce you to my wife and Suhail….
Ruhaan: Shaista, see’s who’s there with me??
Shaista: Ohh, are you Charitra??
Charitra: hey, how do you know me?? I think we are meeting for the first time…
Shaista: I know everything about you. You know what, sometime I feel jealous of you. Ruhaan told me about his and your’s relationship before we got married and he still has the same affection for you…

Charitra is shocked to hear all this…He couldn’t believe his ears for sometime…

Shaista: Don’t worry Charitra. I trust Ruhaan and I have accepted him knowing his past and happy to have him in my life…..
Charitra: Suhail is cute, bilkul baap pe gaya hai….

And, everyone starts laughing…

Ruhaan: Charit, Me and my wife are leaving India tonight and settling in US. I have got a good job there and even Shaista has got an offer of a research fellowship….And, I knew, if I don’t meet you today, I would not have able to meet you ever….

Charitra for the final time hugs Ruhaan and he bids adieu to them…

After they leave, Charitra opens the letter and see the note “I love you Charitra” written by Ruhaan 10 years back. With moist eyes, he leaves the get-together and goes to his car….and shocked to see something attached in his car’s window, a letter perhaps….he takes the letter in his hand and sees the note in it…

“Charitra, there are some things that do not change with time and one of them is our love for each other. But, then some relationships are just not meant to happen. It was sad to see that though 10 years have passed, you have stuck up. Move on!! That’s the only thing I can say…I know, you will not be able to forget me but then that’s the beauty of our relationship, taking the love and memories ahead in our life and cherish it forever…Trust me, there is someone for you who can understand you better and be with you when you need the person…And, one more thing, YOUR SMILE means a LOT to me, so, DON’t CRY!!”

and, yes

“I STILL LOVE YOU CHARITRA”….

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. If any characters, places or incidents bears any resemblance to anyone, then it’s purely coincidental and unintentional.

Dedicated to all those FRIENDS who are close to my HEART!!

2010-02-03T03:05:00.000-08:00

Khumaare-e-gham, mehakti fiza main jeete hai,
Tere khayal ke aabo hawaa main jeete hai

Bade ittefaaq se milte hai milne wale mujhe,
Woh mere dost hai, tere wafa main jeete hai

Firaaq-e-yaar main saanson ko rok ke rakhte hai,
Har ek lamha guzarti kajaa main jeete hai

Na baat puri hui thi, ke raat tut gayi,
Adhure khwaab ke aadhi sazaa main jeete hai

Tumhare baaton main koi maseeha basta hai,
Haseen labon se baraste shabah main jeete hai

Gifting a SMILE….

2010-01-23T09:22:00.000-08:00

In a world occupied by billions, how many people manage to stay happy?? How many among the billions get a reason to smile? A world where everyday people suffer from diseases, poverty, lack of food, education and shelter, it’s difficult for them to stay happy and celebrate their life.

Someone truly said, “A little effort of ours can change someone’s life, even if it’s for a day or for some moments”, spreading happiness and gifting a smile on anyone’s face is the least we can do as humans and spread HUMANITY. One morning, I decided to take a step ahead making myself free from the shackles of selfish desires and make this world a beautiful place to stay. And with this one decision, I visited an NGO called “Aakanksha”, in Pune, which works for improving the life of few under-privileged children and believe me, that was the HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE because I gifted a smile on someone’s face, my little friends.

WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY

And, when I returned from Aakanksha, I had tears in my eyes for the simple reason, for the first time in my life I had done something for those small children in my own little ways.That one day changed my whole life, needless to mention, I understood the real meaning of “HUMANITY”. I have believed that every step that we take to help anyone, may be our friends, family or strangers at the time of their need and bring a smile on their face is a small step towards making this world a beautiful place. From that day onwards, I have visited few orphanages and old age homes in Pune and everytime I have been there, it has made me a better human being.

Now that I am going back to Pune, I am excited to meet my little friends again. Indeed, this life would have been so meaningless, if I would not have taken the decision of visiting an NGO. A life full of selfish desires and endless greed is an apathetic life and I am happy to be away from it.

So, the next time, when you wake up in the morning and suddenly something of this sort stuck your mind, don’t be late in your decision. You never know, your presence can change someone’s life.

GIFT A SMILE and TAKE A STEP TOWARDS HUMANITY!!!

BELIEVE in Yourself

2010-01-18T08:16:00.000-08:00

A thousand failures and then one success wiping out all those failures and the bad memories associated with it. It takes nothing but courage to face those thousand failures and still stand undeterred. There will be people questioning you, doubting your abilities, laughing on your failures and demotivating you, but those moments will be the testing times for you. Patience and belief on yourself is what you need.Keep on trying, keep on working towards your goal. Let the people criticize your efforts, for their criticism will turn to praise, let them doubt you for their doubt will make you confident, let them question your identity for their questions will make them see your success as an answer. As a child, I have read a beautiful poem by an eminent poet Harivansh Rai Bacchan which I would like to post today as a dedication to the never dying spirit, courage and every little effort that we take everday to become successful. THIS IS AN ODE TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING TO REACH THEIR GOAL IN LIFE…WAKE UP MY FRIENDS AND BE READY TO WRITE YOUR OWN SUCCESS STORY….

Lehron se Darkar nauka par nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahin hoti

Nanhi cheenti jab daana lekar chalti hai,
chadhti deewaron par, sau bar phisalti hai.
Man ka vishwas ragon mein saahas bharta hai,
chadhkar girna, girkar chadhna na akharta hai.
Akhir uski mehnat bekar nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahin hoti.

Dubkiyan sindhu mein gotakhor lagata hai,
ja ja kar khali haath lautkar aata hai
Milte nahi sahaj hi moti gehre paani mein,
badhta dugna utsah isi hairani mein.
Muthi uski khali har bar nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahi hoti.

Asaflta ek chunauti hai, ise sweekar karo,
kya kami reh gayi, dekho aur sudhar karo.

Jab tak na safal ho, neend chain ko tyago tum,
Sangharsh ka maidan chhodkar mat bhago tum.
Kuch kiye bina hi jai jaikar nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahin hoti.

ENGLISH TRANSLATION

You cannot take your boat across the sea
If you are afraid of the waves,
The one who tries
Never fails.

The tiny ant carries a small grain in its mouth,
Climbs up on the wall, slips and falls a hundred times,
The determination in the mind fills your body with courage,
Then climbing up and falling down does not hurt,
Ultimately, its (the ant’s) efforts do not go waste,
The one who tries
Never fails.

The diver dives into the water of the sea,
He returns empty handed a number of times,
Not easy it is to find a pearl in the deep waters,
But this in turn doubles his enthusiasm,
His hands are not empty every time,
The one who tries
Never fails.

Failure is a challenge, accept it,
Recognise your shortcomings, rectify them.
Till you are successful, shun rest and sleep,
Never run away from the battlefield of hard work,
You cannot get praise without working for it,
The one who tries
Never fails.

I was a DONKEY…

2010-01-07T03:41:00.001-08:00

When we sometimes say, “Tu GADHA hai(you are a donkey)..”, we literally mean it..So, like every human being, even I was a DONKEY at some point of time. A boy with no brain, no thinking capability and used to blindly follow/listen to what others say. And, the result was SUFFERING!!!So, here goes my part of story when I was a literal DONKEY.Time and again, I have proved it and that too with a vengeance :)

During my 10th Pre-test exam, I like an innocent child sitting in the bus was mugging up all the hindi proverbs, author’s name, poems and prose for my HINDI exam. When we reached school, suddenly we came to know that due to the sudden demise of Chief Minister’s death, exam has been cancelled and the day has been declared a holiday. Like all students, I was pretty happy and merry making inside the bus and thanked the Chief Minister’s soul for passing away on that auspicious day. But, unlike all students, I forgot to ask whether the next exam would be HINDI or it would be conducted last. So, for the next two days, sitting at home, I only studied HINDI (we had breaks after every exam). Studying Hindi for 4 days had made me a master of Hindi Literature and I was in a position to talk anything and everything even in my sleep. Now, the D-Day arrived, the next exam day!!

I touched my maa’s feet and promised her that I would score the highest in Hindi paper in my class and like every mom, my MAA was proud of me thinking “MERA BETA KUCH KAR DIKHAYEGA!!”. Feeling proud of my achievement, I entered the class smiling and suddenly got a shock of my life. The whole class was busy turning the pages of SCIENCE book and I was the only one who entered with my HINDI book. I felt as if an earthquake had come, my legs started shaking and my whole body trembling and tears started rolling down my eyes. Seeing me crying like a woman who has just lost her husband, banging my head on the table, all my teachers came and started consoling and motivating me. They said, “Ashutosh, you can do well!! You have 15 mins for the exam to start” and I was like, “What the F***!! 15 mins and I had to complete Physics, Chemistry and Biology!!”. But, being an optimist since the day I was born, I started preparing for my science exam. Trust me, those 3 hours of exam were like 3 ages. And, then the big moment, facing the wrath of my PAPA.

Papa: Beta, how was your hindi exam?? I am sure, you would have done well (within a smile on his face)
Donkey Myself: Today, we had SCIENCE exam

And suddenly, the expression changed and if by any chance, I was not his son, he would have killed me that day for my stupidity…

Papa: Great, no wonder you would fail in SCIENCE exam this time and that too, 10th Pretest exam….

Days passed, and the results were declared. I took the report card and approached my father..

Papa:So, how much did you score in Science exam? 10??
Donkey Myself: NO
Papa: 20?
Donkey Myself: N0
Papa:30??
Donkey Myself: No
Papa: Did you pass the Science exam??
Donkey Myself: I scored 54 out of 100….

And, then, I could see a big smile on my PAPA’s face!! Can you believe and imagine a father hugging a son for scoring 54 out of 100 in Science exam?? But, that day, this miracle happened!!! My Papa was proud to have a donkey son!!!

So, you see, the donkeys can be unpredictable too…

And, then, in one of the organizations, like every other employee, I was doing timepaas with my colleague bitching about my project manager in office communicator in one window and chatting with my project manager discussing about the release of newsletter in the other window. Taking the legacy of donkeyness ahead, the donkey in ME couldn’t have done good to myself. So, here it goes….

This is something I wrote in the chat window

” You know HE is a DOG, bloody, he has screwed my ass like anything. He thinks me as a donkey and asks me to take up the responsibilities of others. Am I a donkey?? If at all I get a chance, I will just shoot him. He is a big time ASSHOLE…”

and pressed ENTER!!!

And, then happily working, I wondered, why my friend has not replied to my innovative ways of bitching my manager. I opened a new window (since I closed the window the last time I spoke to her) and asked

Donkey Me: What happened? You didn’t reply…Do you love the manager or what?
Namrata: I didn’t receive any message
Donkey me: How can it be possible?? I just sent it to you.
Namrata: Are you sure you send it to me only??

And, when I checked, the other chat windows, BANG, I had sent that innovative message to my manager as an answer to the release of Newsletter. No wonder, my manager called me to his desk. I knew, that day was going to be my last day in HSBC.

My Manager: Was the message for me??
DONKEY Me: No. Not at all….
My Manager: AM I A DONKEY?
Donkey Me: That remains to be seen if you believe my words(thinking in my mind). Well, I was actually talking about the Professor in my college. You know, you are a nice manager, don’t you?? I mean common, you are the one from whom I have learnt a lot. How can I say bad things about you??You are an example of perfection to the whole team (HARAMKHORI at my BEST :) )

Manager (A big smile on his face): Thanks Ashutosh!! I am proud to have you in my team

No wonder, he proved me right believing me. So, as I said before, every human being was a DONKEY at some point of his life. Now, if you think, it’s a behaviour of a DONKEY to publicly accept being a donkey in the past now infront of everyone, then it remains to be seen…

“Dimaag hai khaali aur soch aadha,
papa se kiya tha maine jo wadaa,
bana na main koi doctor ya engineer
reh gaya banke sirf main GADHA!!!!

Why we LOVE our MAA???

2010-01-04T05:51:00.000-08:00

When everyone was busy waiting for the New Year to come and embrace them, partying with friends, dancing in pubs and freaking out on roads, I was busy packing my bags. I had to catch a bus early morning to my papa’s place. So, sharp on 31st Dec, 10 pm, I closed my eyes and went to bed. When I woke up the next morning at 5 in the morning, I was shocked to see an array of messages and missed calls on my mobile. Well, not bothering much,I boarded the bus.

When I got down from the bus and started walking towards my papa’s place (he is currently posted in a very small town in Chittoor district), I saw an angel standing on the balcony with a smile on her face. There is an aura in her face, an angel whom I have been seeing since my birth. Neither with a magic wand nor with feathers, this angel is very much like us. I climbed the steps, approached towards her, and touched her feet. Seeing a smile on her face was enough for me to rejoice. Yes, I was in a mood to celebrate my new year with the angel. Undoubtedly, my day has begun with a special person, and I was sure that having seen her in the morning will surely make this year a memorable one. Needless to say, the ANGEL is my MAA.

If there’s one reason for me to live in this world, then it’s surely is my MAA who teaches me to be a better human being with every passing day. Life would have been really difficult if she would not have been with me constantly driving me to do good everyday. My MAA has taught me few lessons in my life which I would like to share with you all in my first post in this new year:

1. People die, if anything remains after death, is their words. Not everyone is capable to help the people who are suffering, but the only way we can make a difference in their lives is through our words. We should never hurt anyone with our words for soulful words can bring a smile on others face. You can be a leader, an inspiration, a guiding force, a mentor…only through your words……

2. EGO can never be an answer to any constructive relationship. A humbled life is a life worth living. That’s probably the reason behind the humbled attitude of great people. A life with baggage full of egos is a life filled with loneliness.

3. There is a time in everyone’s life because of some incident, people stop believing in GOD. But, my MAA says, “That’s the time when your faith in GOD should be stronger“. Everything happens for a reason, may be we are not able to visualize the good while suffering but definitely there is some good stored for us in the future. Every single suffering that we undergo makes us stronger and help us becoming a better human being.

4. It’s difficult but always try to be happy. In a life, where every second people suffer due to some or the other reason and sometimes have to face a cruel destiny, it’s very necessary to be happy with what we have and live those small moments which brings happiness in our lives rather than constantly cursing our destiny. In a race to become successful, we sometimes forget humanity. Humanity is all about loving people around us and spreading happiness in their lives and it is only possible when we are happy with ourselves.

5. Respect is the greatest thing that we can achieve in our life. Not every human being is born with a silver spoon or build a million dollar fortune in their life, but one thing which every single human being can earn is RESPECT and truly RESPECT is something which cannot be commanded. It only comes the way we live our lives and the way we behave with others everyday.

Someone have truly said, that GOD cannot be everywhere, that’s why he created “MOTHER”. If ever you have hurt your parents knowingly or unknowingly, make it a point to apologize to them later. Their tears can awfully spell doom in your lives. Trust me, a mother’s blessings and prayers can do wonders in their children lives.

Feel blessed if your mother is besides you, the way I am. She is the one who makes all sacrifices throughout her life to make you a better human being and give you a life worth living, isn’t it our duty to make her happy in the smallest possible ways we can in her times of need??

For your EYES Only!!!

2009-12-23T06:59:00.000-08:00

Your eyes speaks thousand words, those sparkling eyes have a lot to tell. Sometimes when lips are sealed and words fail, it’s your eyes which emotes and it emotes beautifully…

And, sometimes, your eyes just plays with mine, a constant hide and seek between our eyes. There’s a never ending thirst in your eyes, an endless search for me..

And, then your eyes reveals a mystery!! Those mysterious, scorned looks makes me feel your pain. Your eyes narrates the pain of being stranded in a loney journey, those deserted looks makes me wonder your apathy!!!

And, sometimes, your eyes makes me feel on TOP of the WORLD. Your eyes gives me the feeling of a victory!! Indeed, you have the most beautiful eyes in the world…

Sometimes, your eyes have been an inspiration!!! Your eyes reveals all the wordly woes of life!! Your eyes makes me realize the worth of GIVING!! Without your eyes, I would have never understood what it means to be with the people who are not the blessed ones!!!

And, then seeing those tears in your eyes, my heart sinks. Some pain pricks you day and night and that brings those pearls flow from your eyes, trust me, those pearls are precious to me

If BEAUTY lies in the EYES of the beholder, then your EYES makes me beautiful. If ever I adorn myself with all my glory, then it’s for your EYES only to see!! it’s your EYES which makes my world beautiful…

Every morning when I wake up and open my eyes to see you sleeping with your eyes closed, my eyes glitters!! There’s a sense of belongingness in your eyes…and truly, IT JUST TAKES ONE LOOK and I AM blinded BY YOUR EYES!!

My Tryst with FAILURE

2009-12-22T07:21:00.000-08:00

I still remember the joy of getting a job in one of the biggest brands of the world after completing my MBA. I could visualize a picture perfect career and a picture perfect life. Staying and working in a city like Pune, that too in such a big company was a dream come true for me. 3rd July 2006 was the D-Day for me, when I took those baby steps inside the organization to build a strong foundation for my career.Right from the first day, I knew where I had to go and once I reach, nothing can deter me to stop and achieve success.

Right from day one, I put my blood and soul to my work, took initiatives for the team which perhaps no one would have taken in that team before, took part in major organizational initiatives, yes, I was one of those few people who managed to maintain good relations with all the BU Heads and even with the CEO of the company, constantly giving my feedback and involving myself in those initiatives. 1 year passed and because of my good work and my relations with the BU Heads and most of the senior managers, I was nearing to my goal, joining the most prestigious group of the organization. Yes, even the BU Head showed interest to hire me because he could see potentital in me to make it big. After nearly 1.5 years, my manager came to know about it that the BU Head of the other group is interested to take me in his team and by then, I could see the fruit of my hard work.

But things were not so simple as I thought. My manager probably had other things in his mind. My transition process to the other group started. I was introduced to the client, briefed on my roll, my VISA process started for UK Travel for 6 months and the joining date was given to me (14th August 2007). I was so happy seeing my dreams coming true. I was on the seventh heaven, feeling ecstatic of my success. The day I was about to shift to the group, my manager wrote a mail with just one line to the BU Head “Since the day, Ashutosh have heard that he is shifting to the other group, he has stopped working for my team and taking initiatives” which was so untrue. A team for which I had given my blood and soul, made sure to achieve more than 100% customer satisfaction, how could my manager do this to me?? Suddenly, my process got stopped. Things went haywire. Suddenly, I was so helpless, all my career dreams got shattered, I was in the midst of nowhere. I was stranded alone on a journey which had no destination. The FAILURE was so deep that till now, it has left ugly scars on my career. Yes, it was a humiliation for me, a defeat to my hard work and confidence. I had no option but left the organization after 2 months. Since then, I am leading a nomadic life in search of success, but everytime I had a rendezvous with failure. After leaving job, I went to Mumbai, joined a very small firm, but then I was asked to leave after 5 months. I was one of those first victims of world recession.

And, then I again shifted to Pune to work for a mid sized organization, but then, my destiny seems not to favour me, since it was a major automobile and manufacturing concern and things were not so good in the Automotive and Manufacturing scenario, I again had to leave Pune and finally I am here in Chennai. I still don’t know where am I heading, but sometimes I feel, had I got a chance to work for my dream group in my first organization, things would have been so good. Like every other young guy who join their first organization with aspirations in their mind and see it getting successful, I was not one of them.

Last 4 years, I am roaming, here and there with a hope to meet success someday. But, failures seems to be a part and parcel of my life. A nightmare which never seems to end, haunts me till now and perhaps, will continue to haunt till I die. This is one failure which I can never wipe it off from my life!!!

The Eyes that YEARN(Nayan Tarse)-Story- FINAL PART

2009-12-20T03:53:00.000-08:00

31st December 2008 10 am, Tuhin's House

Tuhin lying on his bed and doing some sketches of Tretya. Suddenly, someone from behind comes and close his eyes. There is a smile on Tuhin's face :) and he is ecstatic that the day has come when he can say all his feelings to her...

Tuhin: Great to see you here, Tretya
Tretya: This is not fair, everytime, you recognize me...even if your eyes are closed
Tuhin: I don't need eyes to recognize you...You are one whom I know since childhood. We have shared almost everything, our successes, failures, joys and sorrows...
Tretya:Seems as if it's yesterday...

Tuhin gets up from his bed and hides the sketches behind his back.......

Tretya: That's why I wanted to share the biggest moment of my life with you. I have a SURPRISE for you!!
Tuhin: Well, well..even I have a SURPRISE for you!!
Tretya: Okay, let's close our eyes and say together that we have been waiting to say....
Tuhin: Okay, 1, 2, 3 GO....
Tretya: I love TAPISH Tuhin: I love YOU

Suddenly, both of them open their eyes in a shock!!! There's tears in Tuhin's eyes and the sketches that he was hiding from Tretya are lying on the floor. Tretya can't believe her eyes that Tuhin loves her because she considers him as her one of the great friends....

Tretya: I am sorry Tuhin, didn't know that you....
Tuhin: No, it's OK. I am happy because you are happy. Hey, I am a cool guy, why am I crying??

Saying this, he wipes off his tears...

Tuhin: I am happy...very happy. And, this is not fair, when are you introducing me to TAPISH?? I am such an idiot..You are one of my best friends. We are so different from each other, I am an idiot..I am sure, since you have chosen Tapish, he must be a perfect man. You always looked for perfection!! You tried to so hard to bring a perfection in me, but I always turned out to be a carefree....
Tretya: Tuhin, I know, when you are emotional, you talk a LOT....I am sorry TUHIN.....

Tuhin: I want to be alone...Can I meet you later??
Tretya: Yeah Sure..Take care TUHIN...(saying this, she leaves)

31st December 2008, Lucknow University, 11:30 am

Inside the college campus, somewhere on a bench, sitting alone, Trishna is waiting for TUHIN to come...

Suddenly, Tuhin comes from back and puts his hand on Trishna's back...Trishna turns and shocked to see tears in Tuhin's eyes...

Trishna:What happened??

Tuhin hugs Trishna and breaks down....

Tuhin: My first love remained incomplete....She loves someone else.....Treyta is not mine...

Listening this, Trishna couldn't help but speechless..There's tears in her eyes....

And, someone else sees Tuhin hugging Trishna. He cannot believe his eyes that the only lady whom he loves is in somebody else's arms. He is fiery, angry and in a mood of revenge. He cannot take INFIDELITY as an answer.Everything is upside down for him. He has only one thought in his mind, "If Trishna can't be HIS, she cannot be anyone else's LOVE"...He leaves the place...

Trishna: Tuhin, just be calm. It's not necessary that the person we love should also love us...If we have loved any person truly, then we should be happy for him/her.

31st December 2008, 5pm

Phone rings....

Trishna: Hello

Tapish: Tapish here..

Trishna: Long time...How are you?? I came to know about your father's sudden demise..sorry about that..good to hear you..
Tapish: There are lot of things because of which we feel sorry!! Even, I am sorry for something. But, you know, somethings happens for good. I am organizing a small party at HOTEL PASSION tonight to celebrate my success and want you to be there..
Trishna:Tapish, I am sorry, but I am really not well and I don't think, I will be able to make it..
Tapish: We are talking to each other after almost 3 months, I have been through HELL in those 3 months. Can't you come for sometime to be with me and celebrate my success..
Trishna:Okay, I will be there!!

Tapish hangs on!! Takes out the revolver from his drawer...
Tapish to HIMSELF: Don't worry Trishna, I will not make you feel SORRY henceforth.....

31st December,2008 HOTEL PASSION, 11:30 pm

Everyone is having a good time at the party. Trishna is standing alone in a corner. Tretya and Tuhin are standing together. Tretya waiting for TAPISH to come so that she can tell her feelings to him and introduce TUHIN to TAPISH...

There's a song playing....

"AAJ KI RAAT, HONA HAI KYA, KHONA HAI KYA, PAANA HAI KYA" (DON)

Suddenly, TAPISH enters the hall, approach towards Trishna, hold her hand and drags her...Trishna tried to free herself from his clutches but helpless. She tries to revolt but by the time she can do that, Tapish forcefully takes her towards the lift. Tretya and Tuhin notices Tapish dragging Trishna and follows him...

31st December,2008 HOTEL PASSION,Room No. 301 11:45 pm

Tapish along with Trishna enters the room and TAPISH takes out his revolver.

Trishna: What are you doing, TAPISH?? Are you mad??
Tapish: Yes, I am MAD. I loved you, yes, I loved you..but you betrayed me.
Trishna: What are you saying? Leave me..or else I will shout..
Tapish: HAHAHA...who will listen to you?? Everyone is busy enjoying for new year..there's loud music..no one can hear you...
Trishna tries to get up and goes near the door but is stopped by TAPISH...
Tapish: How can you even think of loving some other guy in my absence? I cannot see you going to someone else leaving me. I will KILL you and myself...

Suddenly, Tuhin bangs the door open and enters the room with Tretya...

Tuhin: Stop man...Put that gun down...
Tapish: OHH, so, Trishna, you have brought your lover with you in the party...
Tretya: Tapish!!! Don't take any bold step in anger..put that gun down...
Tapish: Who the HELL are you?? I am in LOVE with TRISHNA..And, I cannot see her loving someone else...
Tuhin: You are mad..and suddenly, Tuhin approaches Tapish and there is a tussle...there is a gun shot...

Trishna: (shouts) TUHIN!!

As soon as she approach towards TUHIN..running....there's another gun-shot...

Trishna falls on the ground...

Seeing all this happening, Tretya tries to snatch the revolver from TAPISH....

TAPISH: Leave me Tretya...
Tretya: You are a killer!!! I am not going to leave you...Give that gun to me...

Tapish: F*** Off!!! And, Tapish pushes Tretya on the ground....and fires a gun-shot on her too.....

Tuhin is unconscious lying on the bed, Tretya lying on the ground with blood oozing out from her body and Trishna screaming with pain. Suddenly, Tapish realizes that he has actually killed TRISHNA....Trishna's eyes are full with tears and she is gasping for breath....Tapish run towards Trishna and hold her in his arms...

Tapish: I am sorry TRISHNA....forgive me...I had become mad seeing you in Tuhin's arms..I couldn't see the sight

Trishna: Yes, you are true that I love Tuhin but Tuhin loves Tretya...and, Tretya loves YOU!!! It's unfortunate that though everyone loved each other, whatever remained in the END is only HATE!!

Tapish is shocked to hear this..He cannot believe his ears... Police enters the room and asks Tapish to surrender...

Suddenly, THERE's ANOTHER GUNSHOT from Tapish's revolver.....

The Eyes that YEARN(Nayan Tarse)-Story-Part 3

2009-12-15T05:36:00.000-08:00

The first time Trishna sees Tuhin, all her anger just melts. She sees the ever charming smiling face of Tuhin holding his ears, sitting on his bike. The chocolate boy Tuhin surely knows how to impress girls. Tuhin gets down from his bike and approach Trishna.

Tuhin: Yaar, galti ho gayi (Sorry, I made a mistake), it’s pouring heavily and the roads are water-clogged. You can hardly see anything. Even, someone splashed mud on me and I made the same mistake with you.
Trishna: It’s ok, I understand
Tuhin: No, No…I have made a mistake and there is a punishment for every mistake. Let me give you a coffee treat in the canteen, anyway, it’s raining and I think a coffee is the best way to start a conversation, you know, today is my first day in the college, and you are the first person I am meeting and see how we meet….
Trishna: Hold on!! My god, you speak so much…
Tuhin: Yeah, I make a lot of nonsense sometimes, but I will keep my mouth shut and you sit on my bike..
Trishna: And, what made you think, I will say YES to your coffee treat.
Tuhin: Common, I am paying the bill. And, yeah, you can order 1-2 burgers if you want. I know you will not say a “No”.
Trishna: (Smiling) Let’s go…anyway, I am hungry. I think, I will also have some sandwiches..
Tuhin: You have to pay for sandwiches. Seems, you are in a mood to punish me, aaj hi pocket money khatam ho jaayega (Seems I will have no pocket money left after this treat)..

In the canteen, Tuhin and Trishna talks as if they know each other since ages. They instantly strike a chord. Days pass, and slowly, Tuhin and Trishna become good friends. Even if there is no reason for them to talk, still they sit and talk about anything and everything in this world. Tuhin’s smile is enough for Trishna for her to bunk her lectures sometimes and go with Tuhin and enjoy paanipuris. Trishna never says “No” to Tuhin and Tuhin always makes Trishna comfortable. For Tuhin, Trishna is just a good FRIEND but for Trishna, Tuhin is just not a friend anymore. She realizes that feelings have started creeping for Tuhin but Tuhin unaware of Trishna’s feelings is eagerly waiting to give a surprise because he feels that Trishna is his best friend with whom he can share the biggest moment of his life…

3rd December 2008

On the other end, TAPISH takes over the GUPTA clan after his father’s death. He has not been to college in the last 4 months. Things suddenly takes a U-turn for Tapish and he has to look after his family, GUPTA empire and politics. He is unaware of the events in the college, about Trishna and Tuhin’s friendship. One thing which is in his agenda and keeping him occupied is to fight for a property in Kanpur. Tapish’s father always dreamt of using the property for building an university but it has been illegally occupied by one of the high profile politicians. Tapish immediately needs to leave for Kanpur to meet the lawyer who will be fighting his case.

Enters TRETYA JHA

Tretya Jha is one of the leading lawyers of the city. Smart, Intelligent and someone who can think and play her game wisely. She is one woman who hates to see “FAILURE” in her life. Young, energetic and shrewd at the sametime, Tretya knows to make the right moves at the right time.

5th December 2008, 11 am, Tretya’s Office

Tapish: May I come in??
Tretya: Sure, please
Tapish: I am Tapish Gupta….( suddenly tretya interrupts)
Tretya: Tapish gupta, 3rd year, Arts student, lucknow University, only son of late Tanishq Gupta, fighting for a property case against politician DHANESH TIWARI…
Tapish: (speechless) I am impressed…
Tretya: So am I.. have heard a lot about you. Pehle suna tha, aaj dekh bhi liya (I heard about you in the past, and now I have seen you too).
Tapish: I didn’t know I am so famous
Tretya: Some people don’t know their worth and some people think themselves priceless and powerful enough, Dhanesh Tiwari is on the latter side. We just have to exchange two places, bring you on the Priceless side of the game and make Dhanesh worthless. Elections are near and I can surely make a difference!!! DEAL???
Tapish: DEAL( with a smile on his face)
Tretya: Relax then, the hearing is after 5 days and Dhanesh is going to have a tough time. We will be meeting often to discuss the details of the case. Hope you don’t have a problem..
Tapish: My pleasure..See you….

Tapish and Tretya often meets regarding the case and slowly Tretya develops a liking for Tapish. For a strong woman like her, she needs a man who can support her and give her a mental high. Tapish is young, ambitious and has a rugged persona which surely charms Tretya. Apart from that, getting associated with the GUPTA empire is definitely an honor for every woman. Tretya has her plans intact. The only way she can win the trust of Tapish is to win his case. She puts her heart and soul into the case and puts every evidence in the court and confuse her opponent lawyer with her statements. Finally, Tapish wins the case and gets his property back.

25th December 2008

Tapish: Thanks a lot Tretya. Without your help, I don’t think, this would have been possible considering the intricacies of the case
Tretya: This calls for a celebration!!
Tapish: I have decided to arrange a grand party on 31st December and you are invited. Hoping to see you.
Tretya: Definitely!!!

Saying this, Tapish leaves and goes to his room. Laying on a sofa, something suddenly strikes his mind. yes, it’s definitely Trishna in his mind. He feels guilty of not being able to spend ample amount of time with Trishna and let her know about his feelings. He decides to convey her feelings on the party day itself and make her his partner for the rest of his life.

Mobile rings…..

Tuhin: Hello

Lady at the other end: Surprise!!!! I am coming to Lucknow on 31st Dec.
Tuhin: Wow!!! You don’t know how happy I am…
Lady at the othe end: Well, there is a big SURPRISE for you waiting….
Tuhin: You never know, I might surprise you that day..
Lady at the other end: Let’s see….and she hangs on…

FOUR FRAMES

1ST FRAME: TAPISH lying on sofa and dreaming of TRISHNA….

2nd FRAME: TRISHNA getting wet in the rain and playing in the mud with the ecstacy of TUHIN

3rd FRAME: TUHIN biking on lonely roads in the night thinking of TRETYA and dreaming of proposing her in the New Year night…

4th FRAME: TRETYA sipping wine in her room and thinking about her future with TAPISH…..

Everyone has a surprise to give to each other, so does their DESTINY…

(to be continued)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. If any characters, places or incidents bears any resemblance to anyone, then it’s purely coincidental and unintentional.

This is Ashutosh, your FRIEND for LIFE!!

2009-12-13T06:39:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, we wonder what makes us special?? Is it our intelligence that speaks volumes or good looks that makes people go weak down their knees? We would have appreciated ourselves million times standing infront of the mirror and sometimes, would have loathed for not being near to perfection. So, today, I got a chance to ask myself, what makes ME special?? And, there was this one answer which resonated, it’s the PEOPLE around me, my FRIENDS who makes me special and have made me the way I am.

I have never really made an effort to be with the people, some I knew and some being complete strangers to me. It’s always the circumstances and perhaps, the faith of other people because of which I have made a difference in their lives, which in turn made a difference to my life. For some, I am their FAMILY, for some, I am just a source of INSPIRATION, for some, I am a CONFIDANT and for some I am someone with whom they can share all their worries. With millions of people around me everyday, there are some who BELIEVE in me. I have never really thought of whether the person would remember me once he/she is away from me, whether the person will value me in the future or ever appreciate the memories once he/she is at the other side of the fence. The only thought that comes to my mind is whether I would be happy remembering the person whom I once helped in my life, whether I would value myself when I look at my past, whether I would be able to bring a smile on my face appreciating the memories. And, the answer is YES.

Every single moment of my effort have been praised, recognized and remembered. What can I ask more? On a lonely journey called “LIFE”, these are the people who travel with you, might not be forever, but at times when you just need someone besides you. From the journey of UNKNOWN- STRANGERS-ACQUAINTANCE- FRIENDS- SOULMATES, my “TALE of FRIENDSHIP”is indeed a cherishing one!!!

Today, I would like to thank all my friends who have given me an opportunity to make a difference in their lives. Without them, my life would just have been a handful of events, it’s they who have given me a life full of memories worth remembering.

Every night, when I go to my bed, thinking if I am worth enough to get a peaceful sleep, I see smiling faces of my friends and that makes my eyes closed so that I wake up to see a wonderful morning the next day!!

This is Ashutosh, your FRIEND for life signing off….THANKS my FRIENDS!!

The Eyes that YEARN (Nayan Tarse)-Story-Part 2

2009-12-07T21:24:00.000-08:00

3rd June 2008, 10 am, Lucknow University

As soon as Trishna enters the University, she can see a big crowd all over cheering and celebrating with placards having Tapish’s party symbol and Tapish’s name. She thinks to meet Tapish and wish him success. She heads towards the Literature Dept. Her eyes start searching Tapish but she can’t find him. She goes from one department to another but fails. With a disappointed face, she finally goes to her Psychology Dept. and enters the classroom and shocked to see Tapish sitting alone on the bench. As soon as Tapish sees her, there is a smile on his face and the same is with Trishna.

Trishna: You sitting here and I am searching you all over to congratulate you.
Tapish: You searching all over and I am waiting in your department to share my success with you. I OWE my success to you.
Trishna: Me?? (in a confused voice).
Tapish: I believe “Besides every successful man, there is a woman” and my lady luck is besides me. Yes, I won by a margin of 1 vote. I have a strong belief that it’s your vote which has made a difference.
Trishna: If that’s the case, I am happy
Tapish: Don’t you think we should celebrate??
Trishna: Yes, you can celebrate with your supporters…
Tapish: And, don’t you support me??
Trishna: I hardly know you. What’s so hurry?? She smiles, turns back, bids good bye and leaves finally…

3rd June 2008, 2pm, Psychology Dept., Lucknow University

Psychology professor asks all the students to meet anyone of their unknown classmates, talk/ question them for half an hour and prepare a Case Study on “How to read a human mind?”. This is a part of their Practicals. As soon as the students get ready to meet their “Unknown Classmate”, suddenly someone pats Trishna at her back saying “Shall we start Madam?” and as soon as Trishna turns her back, it’s TAPISH for her.

Tapish: Half an hour, ask me whatever you want. And, no more “I don’t know you” excuse in the future.
Trishna: Ohh, so, how did you manage to convince our Psychology professor?
Tapish: Your professor respects me a lot.
Trishna: And, what about you?
Tapish: Respect doesn’t come for everyone.
Trishna: He is not any Tom, Dick and Harry. He is our professor…
Tapish: Why are we discussing about your professor?? Remember, you have 20mins more to know me.

Suddenly, another boy comes and says, “Excuse me, are you Trishna??”

Trishna: Yes
Ameet: Hello, I am Ameet. The Professor has asked me to meet you for the Case Study.
Tapish: (with a high voice) Mit or whatever your name is, I am with her now. And, I am the subject of study.
Ameet: But…
Tapish: Look Ameet, you know who I am, right?? Leave the room or else you might have to face the consequences.
Trishna: Wait a min Tapish, you need not have to talk to him like that. I think there is some confusion and we need to sort it out.
Ameet: Trishna, I have less time with me. I think we should start as I have to attend a lecture within 15 mins.
Tapish: (Holding the collar of Ameet) You seem to be in too much of hurry.
Trishna: (in an angry voice) what are you doing Tapish? Leave him…

Suddenly, the professor comes and says “Leave Ameet”. Tapish looks back….

Professor: Principal immediately wants to meet you. So, I have asked Ameet to be with Trishna for the Case study.

Tapish: OK and he tries leaving…
Trishna: Atleast say SORRY to him, the least you can do is apologize to him.
Tapish: I am not at fault. And, he leaves…

Trishna is aghast to see Tapish’s behaviour. Days pass and Tapish makes all effort to befriend Trishna. Everytime they meet, Tapish impresses Trishna but some or the other incident happens because of which Trishna sees the other side of Tapish which leaves her in a confused state of mind. Trishna decides to remain calm and act normal with Tapish.

2nd August 2008, 10 am, Lucknow University

Monsoon starts and it’s raining cats and dogs. It’s mesmerizing to see greenery all over, children playing on streets in the rains, students hiding near the Chai shops and sipping hot tea with pakodas enjoying rains. Trishna enters the college with wet hair and an umbrella in her hand. Tapish sitting in a chai shop with his friends notices Trishna and mesmerized by her beauty. Wet hair, chunri covering her head, pink lips, Trishna avoiding the water clogged holes on the roads and slowly walking towards the college. Tapish decides to propose Trishna and he is confident that Trishna can’t say “No” to him.

2nd August 2008, 3 pm, Lucknow University

Trishna inside the Library studying and Tapish enters.

Tapish: Come along with me.
Trishna: Where??
Tapish: I will show you something outside.
Trishna: But, it’s raining outside, ok, let me take my umbrella….
Tapish: Leave the umbrella..
Tapish hold Trishna’s hand and close her eyes with his other hand.

It’s raining and they are completely drenched. Tapish takes away his hand, and Trishna opens her eyes…It’s a garden of roses, roses here, roses there, RED roses everywhere. It’s raining and the beauty of roses is there to see. But, Tapish is in awe of the beauty of Trishna, in RED salwar, she is nothing less than a rose today.

Trishna: Wow, it’s beautiful.
Tapish: Remember, today is FRIENDSHIP Day. So, I though to give you a surprise.
Trishna: Tapish, I love roses and this place is so beautiful. Saying this, she hugs him.
Tapish: Trishna, I want to say you something today….
Trishna: What??

Tapish plucking a rose from a plant and suddenly his mobile rings….

Tapish: Hello

The voice at the other end: Your father has expired, he got a severe heart attack, come home soon!!!

Tapish suddenly breaks down into tears. The day would have been the most beautiful day of his life had he proposed Trishna. Why this had to happen and that too he lost someone so precious, his father, the only person he respects in his life. Trishna tries to console Tapish, Tapish leaves saying “Didn’t knew the RED will change my life but I promise you this RED will have to weave another tale and it will come soon…”

Tapish starts his jeep, and leaves the University. While leaving he crosses a bike and suddenly splashes mud on the biker. The biker stops and shouts at Tapish. But, Tapish unaware of the incident leaves college. The biker takes out his helmet.
Enters, TUHIN MALKANI

Tuhin: Kya bhagwaan?? First day in college and my jacket is spoilt. Is saale ko toh main chhodoonga nahin (I will not leave this Idiot)
Tuhin to himself: No Tuhin, you should not be angry. Remember, you are a COOL guy!! Be cool with everyone and even your name means the same.
Saying this, he starts his bike and proceeds towards the college, but, unaware of a water clogged hole, he splashes mud into someone…He stops his bike, takes out his helmet and turns back. and sees Trishna trying to clean her churidaar…

Tuhin: Mar gaya!! (I AM DEAD)

(to be continued)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. If any characters, places or incidents bears any resemblance to anyone, then it’s pure coincidental and unintentional.

The Eyes that YEARN (Nayan Tarse)-Story-Part1

2009-12-03T06:52:00.000-08:00

31st Dec 2008, 23:55, Hotel PASSION, Room No. 301

The whole world is celebrating and waiting to welcome the New Year with loud music, dance, parties etc. But, there is another world about to end in room no. 301. Tuhin is almost dead lying on the bed, and Tretya lying on the ground with blood oozing out from her body. Trishna screaming with pain, gasping to take breathe while TAPISH with a gun in his hand, tears in his eyes and holding Trishna in his arms bursting out and asking her to forgive him.

Outside HOTEL PASSION

Reporter Ashutosh from CRIME TV, brings you live the events at Hotel Passion. Three gunshots firing have been heard inside Room No. 301. We have been told that Tapish Gupta, famous politician and MP, is inside the room with three other people, lawyer Tretya Jha, and two students Tuhin Malkani and Trishna Shah from Lucknow University. What actually happened is still a mystery since the door is locked and the hotel authorities are trying to actually find out the reality. We will bring you the latest news soon, keep watching CRIME TV!!!

FLASHBACK

1st June 2008, 11 am, Lucknow University

Tapish Gupta, son of MP Tanishq Gupta is a popular figure in Lucknow University. Tapish is tall, has got intense looks, rugged features and always seen with a khaadi kurta. He is intelligent and speaks only when required. He has an attitude to die for. Most of the boys in the college respect him for the helpful person he is and girls adore him. He always respects women and believes that “Besides every successful man, there is a woman”. Tapish is sincere to his family and friends and loves his father the most. He can go any extent to bring glory to his family. The only scion of Gupta Empire, Tapish is a man to look out for!!!

It’s Elections time once again and the whole campus is abuzz with activities like distributing pamphlets, entering classes and asking for votes, talking about women liberation, equal rights, fighting with management for extra facilities in Lucknow University. Tapish and his supporters are making sure not to leave any stones unturned and win this year’s elections. Suddenly, amidst all these activities, Tapish sees someone in the campus infront of the Psychology Dept unaware of the activities going in the college and happily discussing about something with her professor. Curly long hair till her back, draped in churidaar and kurta with a chunri covering her head, kajal in her big round eyes. While talking to the professor, suddenly, her chunri falls and Tapish could see her. Tapish is speechless to see the beauty in her simplicity. She turns back and straight heads to the way where Tapish is standing with his supporters. Suddenly, Tapish stops her..

Tapish: Are you new to the college??
Trishna: Yes, I have joined just today
Tapish: Tapish Gupta, 2rd year, B.A (Literature) standing for elections. Remember the woman using a charkha, that’s the symbol of my party. Vote me!!
Trishna: And, why do I vote you? I don’t even know you…
Tapish: Tapish Gupta, 2rd year, B.A (Literature) standing for elections. If you want to ask anything else, you can…By the way, what’s your name??
Trishna: Trishna Shah from Kolkata, 1st year, B.A (Psychology). She tries to leave….
Tapish’s Supporters: Sir is talking to you and you trying to leave. Don’t try to act smart.
Tapish: Shouting on his supporters, Shut up!! Don’t you know how to talk to a woman? Our party’s symbol itself is a woman and you people have still not learnt to respect them. What’s the point of talking about women liberation when we ourselves don’t know how to conduct with women?
Trishna: I have to collect my Identity Card sharp at 11:30 am. And, I am very particular about time. And, nice to meet you, Tapish and thanks, will remember you…
Trishna leaves and there is a slight smile on Tapish’s face. And Tapish seeing Trishna leaving says…

“Woh khubsurati hi kya jis mein adaa na ho, woh khubsurati hi kya, jis mein sharmindagi na ho
Ek nazar dekh liya hai usse, aye khuda, bas kisi aur ko dekhne ki ab tamanna na ho”

Trishna Shah, a middle class girl from Kolkata, is chirpy, bubbly and happy go lucky one. That doesn’t take away the seriousness from her. She is responsible and believes in sharing her best with few people. She is not an open book for everyone to read. Yet, she has this unquenchable thirst to be with the people who can make her happy. Trishna’s journey in Lucknow University is going to make her life take a U turn. She is unaware of the events to come that will change her life forever or may be END her life forever!!!!

Corporate HARAMKHORI!!!

2009-11-30T07:06:00.001-08:00

After the super success of Main HARAMKHOR, it’s time for me to talk more about “HARAMKHORI” AND THIS TIME, I will talk about CORPORATE HARAMKHORI. And, I am dead sure, all of you sometime in you life must have done such haramkhori. And, it’s true that Corporate HARAMKHORI is a part of Corporate Politics which I learnt in my first organization, thanks to my colleagues!! I dedicate this song to all you people who are proud to have done Corporate Haramkhori in their life…

“Kabhi Dagabaaz, Kabhi Qatil, Kabhi Chor,
Mere Yaar, Sab ke Sab Haramkhor!!!”

Fresh out of MBA college, I indeed had no idea of what organization culture is, how things works out, team dynamics etc. etc…and being with HSBC, I tried my best to create a good image of myself!! But, then destiny had its own plans. During Durga Puja, I had to go home and needed a leave for 7 days, that’s one time of the year when my entire family gathers. So, when I approached my manager for a leave, he said ” Ashutosh, you are on probation for 6 months and as per the company policy, you cannot take leave..so, sorry!!” But then, I am one among those who belives in breaking the rules and policies. Bhagwaan Krishna ne toh nahin, lekin kisine toh kaha hai, “Agar ghee sidhi ungli se naa nikle, ungli tedhi karo”. And, BANG comes the IDEA!!! And, remember, ek IDEA aapki zindagi badal sakti hai…

I approached my manager and then the conversation began…

HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: Pushkar, I need a leave as I am getting engaged….
Pushkar: What?? A 22 year old guy fresh out of college not even settled in his life getting engaged???
HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: Yes, you know it’s a LOVE Marriage actually and the girl’s parents are adamant to get me engaged with their daughter
Pushkar: Why, don’t they trust you??
HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: They do, it’s just that, it’s a good time, Durga Puja and my wife completing her MBBS degree..so…
Pushkar: Ohh wow, so, your would-be is a doctor??? What’s her name??
HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: Err…ROSALIN (who actually is my sister’s best friend, who is a doctor, already married and 4 months pregnant) :)
Pushkar: Best of luck!! Leave GRANTED…..

So, you see, yeh jhooth bolne wali baat hamesha kaam kar jaati hai!! And, trust me, when Rosalin actually heard my story, she had mixed reactions, more than anything, she was happy for me. Now, the biggest question, now that I am engaged, where’s the RING???

And, my father said me, “Don’t you worry son, here is your Engagement RING”
HARAM KHOR Papu( that’s my nick name): Baba, are you out of your mind. This is some gold ring related to astrology, with a big green colour EMERALD. It doesn’t even look close to an engagement ring
Papa: Did I say you to lie?? If you lied once, I am sure you can lie again…BEST OF LUCK

Back in Office

Pushkar: Congratz!! Ashutosh…where are the sweets??
HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: At my desk..will distribute soon
Pushkar: Ohh, i can see something dazzling on your finger
HARAMKHOR Ashutosh:Oh yeah, that’s my Engagement Ring..
Pushkar (shocked): Is that your Engagement Ring??
HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: Yeah, Pushkar, bad luck you see. My astrologer said there are some problems in my Kundali and all because of which my marriage cannot happen within 2 years, so he suggested me this emerald ring to wear it on the same finger where I was wearing my engagement ring..and, you cannot wear two rings in one finger. I had to take out my engagement ring…
Pushkar: That’s sad.. anyway, congratulations again!!

So, you see, Corporate HARAMKHORI work wonders!! Time and again, destiny challenged me, made me hone my haramkhori skills, especially HR Interviews where I lie so nicely that HR actually becomes my fan!! Typical haramkhori answers are like….

1. Where do you see yourself 5 years from now??

HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: Definitely, in your organization in a senior management position. I think I would be able to contribute a lot to your organization with my past experiences and the learning I will have in your organization

(Actual Answer: Will you be able to tolerate me for 5 years??)

2. Why do you want to leave your current job??

HARAMKHOR Ashutosh: I have always loved my current organization because of the challenges I faced here and the things I learnt. But, down the line, I see your organization as a stepping stone for my career path and I am sure I would be able to make a difference since the job profile and my expertise resembles a lot and being the creative person I am, I think, I will just not be a regular employee but a value addition to your organization!!

(Actual Answer: Man, your organization is ready to pay me, big brand, what do I want in my life??)

So, Corporate HARAMKHORI has no substitute. It’s the skill which comes by experience. Having attended numerous interviews in my life, now, I don’t get rejected by any Interviewer because of the well prepared HARAMKHORI…

So, the next time, you think of enhancing your skills like JAVA, .NET, Business Analysis, Domain Knowledge,Communication Skills, do think of enhancing one more skill too, HARAMKHORI!!!!

A story of LOVE-3

2009-11-19T05:56:00.000-08:00

Now, Ashima had every reason to come early to the office and leave late. More hours in office meant more chances of having a glimpse of Anurag. As a girl, for the first time, she had done all those things which she once considered to be stupid, having a proper make up, wearing happening clothes, taking a face wash and a lip gloss to the office in her bag though she hardly used it in her office. Ashima had been a SHAYAR off late and now her diaries were full of love poems and love stories. Once when Anurag handshaked with Ashima, she made sure not to wash her right hand for 2-3 days and suddenly she became a leftie. Crazy, Isn’t she?? :) In short, she was just happy with her life in this disturbing city and for a moment, she had no more complaints of this city.

Approaching Anurag was still a challenge for Ashima considering the person Anurag was. For Anurag, Ashima was just an acquaintance but for Ashima, Anurag was something more than an acquaintance. For the first time in her life, she felt bad in being an “AVERAGE”. Her average nature became a hindrance to approach Anurag. “Opposite attracts, but, not everytime”. For the first time, she compared herself with another person and tried to find a reason why Anurag would take an interest to befriend her.

Anurag: IIM Kolkata
Ashima: Some B-grade MBA College

Anurag: Management Consultant
Ashima: Junior Analyst

Anurag: Adonis in disguise!!!
Ashima: One among the millions next door girl

Anurag: Globe trotter
Ashima: Even she is a trotter but within India, that too, because of her jobs :(

After an analysis, she questioned her abilities. She felt bad and humiliated. She almost moistened her analysis with her tears. Yes, she was no match to Anurag. She didn’t have the courage to approach Anurag and talk with him coz everytime she tried, she failed. His strong persona always made her realize the normal human being she is. And, at the end of her discussion with herself, she realized that definitely it’s not a LOVE STORY IN THE MAKING. It’s just a story of two strangers meeting, an informal talk and then departing in their own ways. Yes, she finally succeeded in persuading herself that she cannot love a person like Anurag, may be, Anurag deserved a better person in his life. And, the next day, she met Anurag again in the cafeteria. Contrary to her thoughts, Anurag came and asked about her Holi celebrations and the reason for her not going to her hometown during Holi!! For the first time, he hugged Ashima and made her felt good since she was bit depressed of staying alone in the city during a festival like HOLI. And, that very moment, she was all wet with the colours of emotions. She had all the reasons to celebrate and suddenly it started raining. It seemed, the monsoons had finally arrived, though late but yes, the feeling of getting wet was ecstatic. With a big smile on her face, the moment she entered her bay, she saw her manager standing, waiting for her.

Manager: Ashima, good news, you are getting an internal shift to Mumbai
Ashima: What?? So soon…
Manager: Common Ashima, you made my life hell because of your transfer and now you saying so soon….
Ashima: No..No..Nothing…It was unexpected
Manager: So, you happy or not..
Ashima (pause for 10 seconds): No….I mean, No, I am happy

A shift means, two working days in hand and joining the new office next week. She decided to talk about her shift to Anurag the very next day. She left the next morning quite early and waited for Anurag to come, hours passed, but she couldn’t see Anurag around. He was even showing offline and it happened the next day too. Anurag didn’t come to office for two days. Ashima was confused, worried and sad. Suddenly there was a brake…..

Driver: Madam, the Airport has come…
Ashima (stops writing her diary): Yes…

Ashima made her way to the flight. She turned back again and again hoping to catch a glimpse of Anurag but in vain. Why would Anurag come to the Airport?? He was not even aware of Ashima leaving the city and taking the transfer…

NEW CITY, NEW OFFICE…..

Ashima was not thrilled joining the new office. Even if she had come to her city of dreams, there’s something which she left which had created a big vacuum in her life. She was still wearing the same purple kurta because she knew she would never be able to see the person again in purple in her life. After logging into her machine, she made her way to the cafeteria to have some breakfast…And, suddenly, she stopped…She could not believe her eyes, was it a hallucination or reality?? Tears roll down her eyes, someone wearing BLACK just came infront of her and smiled…

Ashima: Why you wearing BLACK??
The Person: It’s your favourite colour if I am not mistaken, though I am wearing it for the first time, trust me, it looks good on me.
Ashima: No, I like you wearing PURPLE
The Person: Well, you wearing purple…so, it’s OK…and, may I know the reason for the tears in your eyes??
Ashima: Mere aankhon main kuch chala gaya hai (Something entered my eyes, how filmy!!!)
The Person: I got a transfer suddenly and didn’t get time to inform you. But, I am shocked to see you here…
Ashima: You shocked??? &^$$^%$ (typical hindi gaalis by a girl in her mind)

And, for the first time, there was a conversation between Ashima and Anurag which crossed complete 2 MINS :) :) (two smileys for those 2 minutes conversation and strange that it’s still continuing……

RJ Ashutosh signing off from “Dil Ki Baatein” with the final note…

“Sometimes, it takes ages to know and understand a person and sometimes, you feel for the person within some moments of togetherness. Not every relationship needs to be named and not every friendship need a reason to exist. It’s a feeling which never fades, touches the height of ecstasy, and leaves you speechless forever. (lines from A DEPARTING RENDEZVOUS”. IS IT AN END or JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY OF ANURAG AND ASHIMA??

And, to all you, RADIO Cognizant listeners, this song is for you…

“Tum Mile toh mil gaya yeh jahaan
Tum Mile toh har pal hai naya
Tum Mile to sabse hai faasla…

Tum mile toh jadoo chaa gaya
Tum mile toh jeena aa gaya
Tum mile toh maine paaya hai khuda” (Tum Mile)

STORY ENDS

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. If any characters or incidents bears any resemblance to anyone, then it’s pure coincidental and unintentional.

A Story of Love- 2

2009-11-17T06:05:00.000-08:00

RJ Ashutosh live from Radio Cognizant says “You cannot dictate two things in your life, your Heart and your Mind. They are always at loggerheads. Whether, it’s Love, Lust, Infatuation or crush, just give yourself some time and then things would be clear”. So, RJ Ashutosh playing this song especially for people who have felt that unknown feeling for the first time…

“Hulchul hui, zara shor hua
Dil chor hua, teri oar hua, ISHQ hua…” (Aaja Nachle)

And, Ashima, like every other girl was confused. Every time she saw Anurag, her lip got sealed, body shivered and there were butterflies inside her stomach. Since she and Anurag sits in different bay on the same floor, she always goes to the other bay to sip a coffee just to get a glimpse of Anurag. But, Anurag unknown of Ashima’s existence would have crossed Ashima’s path innumerable times and that would have triggered innumerable feelings in Ashima’s heart. But, then like SRK, even RJ Ashutosh believes, “Kehtay hai agar kiss cheez ko dil say chaho toh poori kainaat usse tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai”. And, suddenly one fateful day, when Ashima was in a queue taking her coffee in the cafeteria, someone from behind said, “Excuse me, I think you are new to this city…what’s your name??”. And, when Ashima turned her back, she saw her man of dreams in a deep purple colour shirt, standing straight with a slight smile on his face. Her world suddenly stopped for that one moment and she didn’t know how to react.

Anurag: If you don’t mind, can we have coffee together?
Ashima: Why not? Err…I am Ashima, from Lucknow. Just shifted here 3 months back.
Anurag: So, are you a pass-out of IIT or IIM?
Ashima: No..No. I am not that intelligent. I have been working for 2 years after my MBA and just got an opportunity from this company.
Anurag: Well, I am Anurag, from IIM, Kolkata, working as a Management Consultant.
Ashima (in her mind): As if I don’t know…(The funniest part is Ashima tried her best to gather every information of the Purple shirt guy from her office through social networking sites, company database, secretly trying to see the information on his ID card whenever she crossed him) :)

Ashima: Ohh really, nice to meet you Anurag.
Anurag: Actually, I heard you talking to your friend on mobile. It seems you are not happy here.
Ashima: Yeah, I just hate this place.

And, Ashima like an idiot, too much enthusiastic, spoke anything and everything about her life, the new city, her job profile, frustration, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH….For a moment, Anurag thought whether he is with a wrong person. Anurag is a man of few words and Ashima can speak volumes, both sense and nonsense. And, after listening to an elongated essay of “ASHIMA”S FRUSTRATION IN THE NEW CITY”, Anurag bid good-bye to Ashima and left.

Ashima the person she is started an analysis of the whole discussion of hers with Anurag, thanks to her job profile and came with a conclusion that she should have controlled her enthusiasm and excitement and should not have spoken too much unnecessary. She knew that the first impression had been a disaster.

And, then things suddenly started changing. Whenever Anurag used to cross Ashima, Ashima used to smile as an expression of “Hello” but Anurag used to ignore and go as if he had not seen her. Ashima felt bad being ignored and that didn’t happen once but many times. She knew that her endless bak-bak in the first meeting would have surely pissed off Anurag. But then, she decided to keep herself cool and waited for Anurag’s response. Days passed but nothing really happened. Ashima didn’t know what to do and she dials RJ Ashutosh from RADIO COGNIZANT.

RJ Ashutosh: Hello, good morning, Ashi
Ashima: Hey Ashu, you know what?
RJ Ashutosh: What Ashi??
Ashima: There is this guy from my office who ignores me. Actually, I am at fault, should not have done “yap-yap” in our first meeting. What should I do??
RJ Ashutosh: Simple, IGNORE HIM!!!
Ashima: What? Are you NUTS?? How can I? I like him…
RJ Ashutosh: That’s why I am saying, IGNORE HIM and IGNORE right on his face. Some relationships are tricky. You cannot handle everyone in the same way. Trust me, I am the GURU of LOVE…
Ashima: Well, OK

And for all you RADIO COGNIZANT listeners, this song is dedicated to you all from RJ ASHUTOSH…

“Na hai yeh pana, na khona hi hai
tera na hona jane, kyun hona hi hai
tum se hi din hota hai, surmaiye shaam aati, tumse hi, tumse hi
har ghadi saans aati hai, zindagi kehlati hai, tumse hi, tumse hi” (JAB WE MET)

And, then, one can actually see it to believe that Ashima is a good actor too. She would have never given that “ATTITUDE” to anyone in her life, thanks to RJ Ashutosh. And, everytime, she saw Anurag, before he could IGNORE, Ashima managed to IGNORE him first and that happened many times. Though she felt guilty of her act, but, RELATIONSHIPS are tricky!!! :) Days passed and one day, while Ashima was talking to her friend, she saw Anurag coming with a light purple colour shirt. Her heart saying her to approach him and say a “Hello” while her mind was reminding her of RJ Ashutosh’s words. So, finally, when Anurag came near to Ashima, he not only smiled at her but also said a HELLO. And, then Ashima was on seventh heaven!!She couldn’t believe her eyes, for the first time, she saw Anurag smiling and his smile fulfilled her thousand wishes. She didn’t know what to do!! Yes, she needed to thank RJ Ashutosh…

RJ Ashutosh: Hey Ashi, kya haal hai??
Ashi: Well, I must THANK you!!
RJ Ashutosh: Ohh, finally, someone is getting attention. I am very happy for you. And, this song is dedicated to you my dear…

“ O re manwa, tu toh baawra hai,
Tu hi jaane, tu kya sochta hai baawre,
Kyun dikhaye sapne tu, sote jaagte,
Goonja se hai koi IKTARA..” (Wake up Sid)

(TO BE CONTINUED…..)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. If any characters or incidents bears any resemblance to anyone, then it’s purely coincidental and unintentional.

A Story of Love-Part 1

2009-11-16T06:03:00.001-08:00

Today, Ashima woke up early in the morning at 5:30 am. She had to catch a flight at 8am. She was waiting for this day with bated breath, leave an alien city and go back to her old city where she left all her good memories, friends and family. Water splashing on her face, she was trying to hide those tears in her eyes. It should have been a time of rejoice for Ashima as she did all she could to leave this city from fighting with her manager to give a transfer, never saying “NO” to any shit piece of work assigned to her to not taking even a single holiday to show her interest towards the job. And, yes, she had won her battle of leaving this city to go back to her city of dreams. But, no, someone was haunting her mind, while keeping her purple kurta inside the suitcase, she was reminded of someone who loved wearing purple shirts and yes, even, she liked seeing him in purple shirts. Suddenly, she got a call from her old friend, Anjana.

Anjana: “Hey Ashi, so, all set to come back??”
Ashima in an uncertain tone, “Yes, I am ready.”
Anjana: So, anyone coming to drop you at the airport?
Ashima: No, I am all alone. Hope to meet someone before I leave this city…
Anjana: Ashi, are you talking about Anurag??
Ashima: I am getting late, will talk to you once I am there…and she cuts the call.

She was helpless, in a mood of remorse; she would have tried her best to go and tell Anurag about her feelings, but failed. Forget telling her feelings, she didn’t have courage to even say a “Hello” to him. She was about to leave and lock her flat but suddenly she stopped, opened her suitcase and took her purple kurta. Though she hated “Purple” colour in her life, it’s because of Anurag, she bought it and started wearing the colour and now “Purple” was just not a colour to her anymore but it reminded of someone who was close to her heart. She wore the purple kurta, locked her room and sat inside the taxi asking the driver to go to the airport. And, as the taxi started its journey to the airport, Ashima penned down her last memories in a diary. And, there plays the song with RJ Ashutosh in his show “Dil ki Baatein” on RADIO Cognizant….

“ Woh jo mujhe dekh ke hanse, Paana chahoon raat din use
Rabba mere naam kar use, tenu dil da vasta”… (Love Aaj Kal)

FLASHBACK

Two different worlds, two different people. Anurag, has everything in him to make it to the top. He has got brains, intelligence that speaks volumes, and looks that makes everyone go weak down on knees. For Anurag, everything just comes and goes in life, people are acquaintances and the people who call themselves as Anurag’s friends are not sure about whether Anurag believes in friendship. He wants to rule the world and power is synonymous to money for him. If there’s one thing which keeps him motivated, is his life himself, carefree attitude, parties, beaches and fashion. Everyone loves Anurag, but do Anurag loves anyone?

Enters, Ashima. She is nothing less than a charmer. She is just the next door girl, believes life is all about being “Average”. She is neither too intelligent nor very beautiful. Wherever she goes, she spreads happiness. A lot of people are a fan of her “Averageness” because they believe that in her averageness lies something very pure. She is honest and the best part about her is she can make everyone fall in love with her superb poetry skills. Love to her is worshipping to god. She never really believed in college or office romance, because for her, love is unusual and it should happen in an unusual way. So, what happens, when she meets someone unusual in an usual place?

It’s been a year, Ashima shifted to this new place. Leaving her hometown was not easy for her, but then she thought, she can manage it all, since she thinks herself as a big optimist atleast that’s what she shows to her friends and family. One complete year in the new city and she has not managed to make even a single friend. Everyone in her family and old friends are shocked that Ashima, being the girl she is, has not made a single good friend in the new city. Life to Ashima was going to office in the morning, work, come back in the evening, cook for herself and go back to sleep. And, though she had complaints of this new city where she couldn’t adjust but had a hope to return to her home town someday. In a big organization, she was one among the thousands whom very few people knew. But, Ashima had her own logic intact, as she says, not everyone can fathom her thoughts and those who do are in her “Friends for Life” list, and only few makes it to the list and she is proud to have them in her life.

And, Anurag have been places, cities really never mattered Anurag since for him everything, that comes with money is good. So, he has a good job, stays alone is a well furnished flat, parties with his acquaintances and believes in “Intimacy without Intricacy”. He has absolutely no complaints and knows that things are momentary and so do failures and success.

But, success and failures always mattered Ashima. Coming from a middle class family, the only daughter of her parents, she wants to achieve everything that she dreamt of. Whether it’s her career or her life, she has closely seen failures. At an age, when girls think of beauty, make up, having boy friends etc, Ashima started working. She knows the value of money and she is proud that whatever she is today, it’s all because of her hard work and belief in herself. She has done compromises with her life before but not anymore. She has the spunk and right attitude to make it to the top, what remains is just an opportunity which can take Ashima to the top and she knows she will be on top of the world one day.

And yes, life changed that one day for Ashima, when suddenly; Anurag crossed her in the office. And for that one moment, Ashima was awestruck. She could not allow her eye lids to blink even for a second, her heart stopped beating and her theory of love was at stake.

(TO BE CONTINUED…..)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. If any characters or incidents bears any resemblance to anyone, then it’s pure coincidental and unintentional.

Main Haramkhor

2009-11-13T05:30:00.000-08:00

Idhar udhar, jaoon kidhar?
dagar, dagar, shehar, shehar
mache yehi shor, bas charo oar,
jo karna tha, kabhi kiya nahin
kahe sab mujhe, main “Haramkhor”

Before anyone getting offended by the title of the post, let me clarify that I have dedicated this post entirely to MYSELF :) . It’s neither a work of fiction and nothing is unintended. Everything is purely intentional. So, before I write, why I have dedicated this post to myself, I will explicitly explain the true meaning of “HARAMKHOR“. According to Urban dictionairy, “Haramkhor” is one who earns his kicks by doing what he is not supposed to be doing. And, yeah, I epitomise the terminology.

As a child, I have not done anything which I was supposed to do, but still managed to be the cynosure of everyone’s eyes. Well, I will not write an autobiography here, but will highlight a few instances from “HERE and THERE” of my life. I remember, during my graduation, when I was struggling to be a JACK of ALL TRADES, enrolled myself into G-NIIT, B.SC Chemistry, BCA, IGNOU and last but not the least, was preparing for CAT. And, like Darsheel Safary of Taare Zameen Par (poor kid) :) , my day used to start at morning 5:30 and with my Kinetic Honda, I used to run from one class to another( NIIT to College, from College to IMS, again from IMS TO IGNOU). And, one thing which was a PAIN IN THE A** (PITA) was my Chemistry practical classes which used to start at afternoon 2 and end at evening 6. I still didn’t understand why the people used to be so happy when they see precipitate at the bottom of a test tube or see the litmus paper turn blue to red. So, to avoid those PITAs, I knowingly enter the practical classes without APRON and happily face the wrath of my Chemistry Lab Professor, who used to say “GET OUT, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER PRACTICAL CLASSES WITHOUT APRON“, poor, Chemistry teacher, little did he knew, I used to bunk his atrocious chemistry lectures and prepare for my MBA :) And, then, after few classes, my Chemsitry professor came to know my intentions and started allowing me to to do practicals without apron. But, taking the legacy of “HARAMKHORI” ahead, I always used to complete my practical sessions within 1-2 hrs, hehe. If the precipitate has to be yellow, go to the bathroom, one drop of pee, and BANG, precipitate turns YELLOW :) and if sometimes, the solution has to turn blue, green, maroon, I had with me other solutions in the form of variety of INK Pens, hoohahaahaaa :) Haramkhori, indeed!!!

And then, during my MBA, well, I was always a great speaker. And, making PPTs used to be the most pathetic job, till now, I hate preparing PPTs. Anyway, I always used to motivate my team members to make those PPTs, and me in turn presenting it infront of the Professors, since most of my classmates feared giving presentations. Poor they, whole night, they do all the hard work, and I go ahead with all the accolades in the morning with my mind-blowing presentations!! Not only I managed to be in the limelight for my presentations but also for screwing my classmates too. I was the one who used to ask the most difficult questions pertaining to the topic of their presentations. In fact, just 1 hour before my classmates presentation, I go to Library, search on the topic, prepare some good 2-3 tough questions, ask them, make them score low and then I used to get those brownie points. My professor used to be very impressed with my “so-called intelligent questions“. At the end of every presentation, he used to ask, “So, Ashutosh, do you have any question to ask?”, LOL :) Is chakkar main kabhi kabhi dost, treat bhi de dete the, my friends used to say, “Ashu you can do anything with us, take treat, but please don’t ask questions”.

Even if Lord Krishna has not said anything, but, GURU ASHU believes in “VATS, HARAMKHORI karo when it can do good to yourself without harming others”.

God made me in a second!!!

2009-11-03T08:11:00.000-08:00

Priyanka Chopra once said “God must have taken a vacation to make people like Aishwarya Rai, we mortals were made in a day“, and I wonder, if Priyanka Chopra was made in a day, then, I for sure, was made in a second, may be when god was busy with batch processing of human beings :)

I neither have the looks to make people go down weak on knees nor have the intelligence which can put me in a different league of people. So, what makes me so ordinary?? Well, I have always been a man of “Averages“. I used to score average during my exams, comes from an average background, graduated my MBA from an average B-school, started my career with an average salary and after 25 years, I am still an average human being. And, there is one friend of mine who says, “There is nothing wrong in being ordinary“. Well, point taken, as its coming from another ordinary person. But then, greatness comes within. So, we mortals minus Priyanka Chopra believe that, by sheer hard work, we can be successful and be extra-ordinary. Booh, what’s hard work?? I have seen rickshaw pullers in my town pulling rickshaws for a meagre Rs 15, the kind of hard work they do or some construction workers, we can never ever imagine to do. Hey people, now, don’t tell me, it’s all about destiny since I can give enough of examples where mere hard work falls flat, ask me!!!

Now, some of you will tell me about smart work, right time, management fundas and all that, but then, as truly said by my other friend, it’s all MOH-MAYA (no these are not the names of two girls) :) Jo hai, usi main khush raho kyunki insaan apni kismat likha ke aata hai…Now, if at all I could have had the address where the destinies are written, I will run and change mine.

So, coming back to the conclusion of how it feels being a step-child of God, then, well, it feels GREAT!!! We have ample amount of time in our life to study the people whom God made during a vacation or in a day, get insipired from them, try to be like them, listen to them, see them, sometimes get jealous, sometimes be happy aur yehi karte karte saali puri zindagi nikal jaati hai and then on our death bed, we have two options either to be happy consoling ourselves that whatever we have done in our lifetime is actually GREAT or repent thinking “Wish God had made me in a day or during a vacation“….

And, if you ask me, what would I think on my death bed, well, that remains to be seen!!!!

“SMOKE” It Away…

2009-10-28T02:41:00.000-07:00

Smoke here, smoke there, smoke everywhere, with every breath, fumes gushes out of the lips. The slender, sleek thing getting slowly burned and with that burns your desires and hopes. Its lusty, thirsty throat, dry lips seeks nothing but that one puff which quenches all your thirst. The heart beating gets faster and you are high on emotions, yeah, its that one puff which touches all your senses making you numb.

Like a fire catching the forest and gripping the vast greenery with its flames leaving a bunch of ash, this sleek sexy thing too slowly catch your soul before arresting your body and then you are handcuffed for the rest of your life yearning to take that one puff and before you realize, there is again a bunch of ashes lying on your bed with a white sheet covering it. One puff before you close your eyes at night and one puff after you wake up in the morning is more than enough to show you the path to darkness. And, yes, sometimes dark is killing and it kills with a vengeance. Whether it’s an intoxicated dark room with loud music and senseless bodies moving or a lonely room on a bed, the plot thickens and the vision gets blurred with smoke all around.

Sometimes, the astray looks like a graveyard with skeletons all around and yes souls wandering nearby to take that one puff to see the reflection of themselves in the astray. But then, no one realizes what they see, that’s the beauty of that one puff, it makes you forget the reality and what appears in front of you is a colourful illusion. An illusion powerful enough to take the soul out of your body someday. But then, who cares??

One more evening, countless emotions, pain gripping the body, and there’s one more death you want to die, every moment, every passing day. Rest your body, open the packet, take out your “life” from the packet, burn it and take that one puff and SMOKE IT AWAY….

A Lyrical Life worth listening…

2009-09-14T09:33:00.000-07:00

That night was different, alone in my room, away from the city crowd, dim lights and cool breeze, the night was full of promises. The night was haunting and a web of illusions in front of my eyes sometimes bringing smile on my face and sometimes tears rolling down my eyes. And, something very musical playing on my laptop…

“Mera kuchh saamaan tumhaare paas padaa hai
saawan ke kuchh bheege bheege din rakhhe hain
aur mere ik khat mein liptii raat padii hai
vo raat bujhaa do
meraa vo saamaan lautaa do ..”

Alone in my room, I had a tale to tell, tale of my life, a tale of someone whose absence in my life has made it a standstill.I feel like getting marooned in an island of loneliness. Nothing has crippled me so much as the memories of these 5 months. The sea was violent, full of energy, the moments splashing my mind and making me wet and suddenly its calm now. It’s a barren desert now and me like a wanderer looking for nectar to quench my thirst for love, tranquility and happiness. Those memories of 5 years which I always used to cherish have certainly vanished in these 5 months.

You promised me that it would just be a game of hide and seek to which I readily agreed, but then, the reality was painful. I hopelessly searching you and trying to win your heart, but by then, you had left me.And, this dark night like a witch doing some magic on me and perhaps, it’s hallucination and I can feel you near me. The night is long, really long, as I can see the images of those 5 years moving infront of me and I don’t know how to react to it. A mixed emotion and a bit of fear is gripping me tight, fear of losing the memories again, fear of the night getting ended, fear of the promise being broken by the night, fear of you again getting vanished…

Let me close my eyes and even if it’s just an illusion, let it be. I don’t want to wake up and face the ugly face of reality only to find you not besides me.Let me live a dream which is worth than a life…

SIN is IN and so is the SINNER….

2009-08-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

Since childhood, there was someone or the other who kept on saying me what’s wrong and what’s right? The difference between good and bad, right and wrong,curse and blessing, sin and good deeds were thrusted on me by different sections of society. Till adolescence, I was unaware of what actually SIN is?? Continuosly being hammered by people, my mind had no option but to get moulded in a different way everytime a person filled it with some gyaan. Though the theory of going to hell and getting fired in the oil pan after committing a SIN did not appease me, but still, yes, even I was on the path of sanctity which showed me the mirror of transparency reflecting moral values, good deeds etc.

But then, gradually,the transparent picture got blurred, apparently the good people who used to talk about not committing SINs were the most notorious ones. As I grew older, my mind could visualize that every good deed was wrapped with a lie, the facts turned out to be myths, goodness gasping for life with the continuos attack of bad and what ultimately prevailed is SIN.

SIN is a shadow which paralyzes your thought process, makes you helpless and you tread an unknown direction without rhyme or reason. But then, when I was a kid unaware of anything, I was committing sin too. People around me made sure to paralyze my mind and listen to the society. I was helpless because I couldn’t take my own decisions, and whenever I tried to do that, I was punished, sometimes beaten and threatened. Yes, I was in an unknown direction of “SANCTITY” quite unaware of what sanctity is. Till 22, I did whatever I was told to do, indeed the biggest SIN of my life, but not anymore.

Now, I am above good and bad. There is nothing that I term as a “SIN”. The definition of “SIN” is relative and why do I have to always listen to society to lead a life which is entirely mine. Being in a society which is crippled, have no rights to design my ways of life. The rules of do’s and don’ts have handicapped me as a person for so long, not anymore. Yes, if the moral leaders ask me if I have committed any SIN, then my answer is “Numerous”.

SIN is IN and so is the SINNER….

Unexpectedly Expected!!!

2009-07-15T21:30:00.001-07:00

Expectations and expectations, expectations from your family, friends, colleagues and the list go one!! Sometimes capable enough to fulfill and sometimes handicapped not even to fulfill one expectation. There are two theories to expectations:

1. I always thank one of my friends who taught me not to expect anything from anyone, not even from your dearest ones. Not everyone can fulfill your expectations, some are not able enough and some might not see any justification in fulfilling your expectations. Not expecting from anyone comes with a lot of advantages, first being, you never end up being hurt when you see your expectations falling flat on the ground and secondly sometimes comes as a surprise when someone unexpectedly fulfill your expectations. In fact, don’t expect anything from your life. The biggest reason of frustration in life is when your expectations from life don’t fulfill.

2. And, then there is another friend of mine who strongly believes “Relationship is meaningless without expectations”. If someone expects something from me and I don’t end up fulfilling it, then I am an insensitive animal who doesn’t deserve to be treated in a nice manner. Not fulfilling expectations is a sign of insensitiveness, cruelty, impolite behavior. So, if I had to be a sensitive and a respected individual, then I should treat everyone’s expectations with respect and try my level best to fulfill it.

Now, I am in a fix, which one is a better doctrine of expectation. I being an individual have my own limitations and constraints and just because I don’t fulfill someone wishes sometimes, does that mean I am insensitive?? What about my expectations and wishes?? If I have not bothered to accuse anyone of not fulfilling my expectations and wishes, why people accuse me?? I have been in a journey of success and failures, good and bad friends, best and worst moments and yes, I have complained about it and the only person to whom I complained is myself. Somewhere or the other, it’s me who have designed my own life, taken decisions which have affected my life, so why do I have to keep pointing fingers on others for the sheer pain that I undergo because of my expectations and wishes not being fulfilled. Yes, I do believe, when expectation is matter of responsibility, then you need to fulfill it but sometimes the queue gets too longer for you to fulfill it.

And no, I am not an insensitive animal for being a ruthless averter of expectations. And, yes, I am not here to prove a point to everyone, it’s the perspective of the people and everyone have their own perspective and I respect it. I have lived 25 years, almost 40% of my life and at this juncture, I need not have to shout from the top of the roof that I am justified in my actions. That’s the way I am and that’s the way I will be and if you expect me to be something else, god help you!!!

F”R” AME IT!!!

2009-06-08T03:20:00.001-07:00

One fine morning, suddenly, when I wake up, I see myself on the cover page of a big corporate magazine, my interviews published in one of the leading newspapers, paparazzi following me wherever I go, glamour and glitter all around, photographers humming to capture me in their lens and yes, I have been waking up everyday and seeing this dream with my eyes wide open. I frame my dream every morning and cherish it whole day and yes, the next morning, I see the same dream but the intensity to achieve glitz and glamour is more.

Good or bad, beautiful or ugly, smooth or rough, I am not sure but yes, the path to my dream is not so easy and I do not want it to be easy. Sacrifice, moral suicide, frustration are a passé, what remain is the intoxication which is never fading and I love it. I have loved it more than myself. It’s a hunger to die, die literally every day, die without noise, die without pain, die with a desire to make others die for me, to make them die seeing my success. It’s a death I am waiting with bated breath.
I am habituated with my dream, no conscience or emotions can take me away from that dream, no sweet talks can enchant me, neither the heart nor the mind is ready to surrender to the compulsion. Yes, my eyes are tired, sometimes I find myself as a prisoner with my hands and legs tied, closed in a dungeon unable to reach people and shout, that, “Look who I am. I am not one among those millions who choose to live a life designed by others but I am one of those who have the patience to struggle, fight with the destiny, decide what is Right or Wrong for me, not what society has decided, break all the rules of Goodness Theory, yes, I am one of those, whom you aspire to be but the only difference between you and me is you will die ASPIRING and I will ACHIEVE IT”.

Yes, you are one of those millions, who will die and I will continue living even after I DIE…

Being HAPPY...

2009-05-17T10:02:00.000-07:00

Today is the end of 50 days in Chennai, end of 50 more moments of emotions, end of 50 more experiences and 50 more lives. With the start of every new day in Chennai, a life breathed and at the fall of the dawn, there was one more dead body wrapped with countless emotions. For once, today I feel like being In Pune, alone at my home, away from the changing mood of the city, and yes, playing ghazals and enjoying the eternity in solidarity. Yes, feelings have creeped in, heart is heavy and eyes are moist, it’s my love for Pune, a city where I have learnt life, a city which taught me to live life, a city which is nothing less than my life.

A ghazal of Jagjit Singh truly exemplifies my emotions at this time
“Ab main ration ke kataaron main nazar aata hon,
Apne kheton se bichhadne ki sazaa main pata hoon”

Yes, I am not happy not here. I have tried umpteen number of times but failed. In a race to earn more, work for a bigger organization and better profile, I have lost my peace. And, no, it’s just not today, it’s been 3 years, I am in the race. People have come and gone, success and failures have played hide and seek, with every new address comes a new pain. May be, I am asking too much from my life but why am I deprived of peace all my life. Whenever there is something good to happen, why does something bad have to poison the good and end its life??? I am like a dice in the hands of destiny which is being thrown on the board of life, there is always a different combination of success and failures, different combination of sadness and happiness, but what remains constant at the end is the death of those numerous experiences, moments and lives. The number game have put a question mark in my life, every number signifies something, and I as a hopeless passenger hopping from one place to another is always in a search of the significance, trying to knock every door coming my way with a hope to meet peace someday but till now, I have failed, what shows every time is a face filled with melancholy.

Dedication to my MAA- Mother's Day

2009-05-09T01:07:00.000-07:00

Beneath the shadows of darkness on my way
There's a ray of hope that forever stays
An insipiration to live a life worth living
A symbol of sacrifice and endless giving
A soul so pure and untouched by fear
Though far from me, still she is always near
Maa, I owe myself to you
The only way I can repay all my dues
My desire to be your mother in my next birth
Protect you from the thorns of hatred and loath
Decorate your life with all my dreams
Gift you a life of joy and a life of gleam
Every night I miss your goodnight kiss
I want to be with you, that's my only wish

“DIRECTIONALLY “YOURS…

2009-03-25T04:51:00.000-07:00

It was neither a stormy night waiting to rain nor a night adorned with the gown of moonlight; it was a usual night after a tiring day for me unaware of the things to happen which would probably change my life forever. My life of practicality would have continued had I not met someone who changed the direction of my life. For the first time, I felt certain restlessness which had its moments of peace and ecstasy, waiting for someone became a moment of pleasure, and emotions took over my mind like never before. An inspiration, a guiding force, a never fading smile with an AWESOME charm to its persona, the person is someone who taught me to live a life with an exclamation.

Seems everything was destined to happen, just one fine day, my lady luck smiled and waived a magic wand and I wandering on the lonely roads happened to bump to a person who was definitely not in my book of “Would be Friends”. And, when there was an invitation to join them at CCD which includes one of our common friends, I tried my best to mould the facts, do a lot of reasoning to avoid them but as I said it was all destined to happen. The very fact that the person was dear to my two common friends; I tried my best not to be an addition to that list and be the third one in a row. But, once it started, our talks knew no end, it was an everlasting affair, and every talk was a cause for a new talk, the talks became a reason to our frequent meetings and believe me these were the talks which became the talk of my other friends. It was a strange sight for everyone to see two strangers bonding as if they know each other for ages. The person came as a soothing wind that put an end to my traumatic life, the mere touch of the person used to make me feel the eternal bliss of comfort and when the person used to sleep on my lap for hours, I used to feel the idyll, idyllic enough to see the person sleeping the whole night and forget the pain of my legs. I have no words to expound those moments.

“There were moments when our souls entwined felt the eternal love between each other and then there were moments of divine happiness. There were moments of pain and anguish and sometimes the moments of togetherness resonating in every moment of my life. Moments of beauty, moments of consent, moments of defiance, moments of love and amour, moments of separation, those precious moments have left footmarks in the path of my life and have written the untold saga of friendship”

For me the person is a desire that remains unfulfilled, a thirst that can never be quenched, a dream which is far from the boundaries of reality; an illusion illuminated forever, leaving me in an optative state of mind. After a constant battle of confusions, emotions, explanations and revelations, what remains is a memory, unfazed, untouched, treasured in my mind in the years to come!!!

The WORLD at HER FEET, SALUTE TO Womanhood!!!

2009-03-08T04:45:00.000-07:00

Being a man has certainly not changed my outlook towards women. 8th March being International Women’s Day, I take this opportunity to salute few Indian women whom I consider an inspiration to me and the entire world who have nothing but to take a bow to their achievements.

Mother: She is the epitome of love, sacrifice and womanhood. One woman who might not have conquered the battle with men, but, the very fact of she fighting for her children is something which is laudable. The world at her feet, she is an inspiration for everyone to fight for your loved ones till your last breath. I salute to the “Mother”, and I love you MAA.

Indira Gandhi: In the murky world of politics dominated by men, she is one woman who has proved her mettle in the field of politics. A lady who rose to become the Prime Minister of the Republic of India for three consecutive terms from 1966 to 1977 and for a fourth term from 1980 until her assassination in 1984, a total of fifteen years. She was India's first and, to date, only female Prime Minister. This lady definitely needs a mention on my list of supreme womanhood.

Kiran Mazumdar Shaw: From the world of politics to the corporate boardrooms, this lady needs no introduction. People might be admiring Naina Lal Kidwai and Indra Nooyi, but my vote goes to Kiran Mazumdar Shaw. Kiran symbolizes dynamism and hope, an Indian entrepreneur, only she can make it to become Chairman & Managing Director of Biocon Ltd. From a civic activist, to art collection, to a house wife she has managed to reach the highest ladder of corporate beating her detractors. I salute Kiran for her extreme determination to make it big in a world where men have made a mark.

Late. Kalpana Chawla: A lady who has the power to turn imagination to reality, Late. Kalpana Chawla who went to become the first Indian woman to go in space. No Indian could stop raving about her when she made our country proud when her name was announced as one of the seven crew members of Columbia space shuttle. Due to an unfortunate accident met by Columbia, she is no more with us but yes, the name “Kalpana” inspires a lot of woman who dream to make it to the mysterious world of space till date.

Kiran Bedi: Justice has another name, no prizes for guessing, it’s Kiran Bedi!!! For people who believe that woman are weak and should stay at home, spare a thought. Kiran Bedi has become the first woman to join the Indian Police Service (IPS) in 1972. She not only went on to become one of the most reputed police officers in India but also has two NGOs to her credit. And, if that was not enough, there’s “Aap ki Kacheri” for you where Kiran does justice to those innumerable India who finds her the only ray of hope for them.

Madhuri Dixit: Do I need to say why everyone is mad about MADS??? She is just not an actress, but, a woman, who has so many shades to her persona. A talented and award winning actress, accomplishes dancer and yes a beloved mother of two, she is one woman who definitely deserves a place in my list. Awarded Padmashri, Madhuri has delivered some of the remarkable performances in her career. “Didi tera devar” is still a rage, thanks to her. On Women's International Day in 2007, Dixit topped Rediff's list of the Best Bollywood Actresses Ever. A smile that makes million hearts go dhak-dhak, Madhuri is surely an inspiration to a lot of women and they don’t shy to say “Main Madhuri Dixit banna chahati hoon…”

ONLY For YOU…

2009-02-03T03:21:00.001-08:00

You are a special “YOU” in my life. It’s YOU who have changed me, for the better, for the worst. I have lived the best because of YOU and have experienced the worst because of YOU. I have loved YOU, hated YOU, cursed YOU and blessed YOU. Never been in my life the word “YOU” have mattered to me so much till I met YOU. YOU are my whole world; YOU are the answer of my prayers every morning and evening. YOU are a reason for all my desires to bloom and YOU are also a reason for all my hopes to die. I have wanted YOU so much in my life; YOU are the Beethoven only to rejoice me in the times of pain and anguish and sometimes YOU haunt in the Halloween night of separation.

I have lived a life in a moment because of YOU and died all my life because of YOU too. I have celebrated colors for YOU when life painted it with black and white and filled my life with darkness when YOU had nothing bright in your life. When everyone thanked god, I had my ranting for YOU and when nothing was right in my life, I smiled because everything was smooth for YOU. I have dreamt about YOU when my eyes were closed and dreamt about YOU when I was awake. YOU brought the curve on my face sometimes and there were tears rolling down numerous times because of YOU. YOU are always with me in every walk of my life being a shadow to me, and the journey just eases with YOU holding my hands and sometimes YOU slowly invading my thoughts. A thousand words of note for YOU or a letter of love for YOU, sometimes praising about YOU and sometimes speechless about YOU. YOU neither have a beginning in my life nor do YOU end anywhere.

I close my eyes to see YOU and even if I open my eyes, YOU are still in front of me. I breathe for YOU to live YOU and will die for YOU to continue living with you, our soul united and we experiencing the eternity in the emptiness…

Here, There and No where...

2009-01-08T08:25:00.000-08:00

It’s time again to pack my bags, seal my memories, bid adieu to this city and head for a new journey to a new city. Like a vagabond, I have been roaming endlessly without a rhyme or reason. News of such kind generally escalates my mood and spirit goes high but this one seems to be a little different. Even my friend complained of me not having an upbeat voice after hearing the news from him and I lied to hide my real emotions. Yes, I still pretend. Years have passed; I still put a glow mask whenever such things happen so that people near to me feels I am happy. Having crossed the length and breadth of the cities, nothing excites me anymore. Neither the city dirt upset me nor does the sophistication uplift my happiness quotient. The essence remains unchanged, and the forthcoming events are nothing less than a useless addition to my life calendar.

Well, yes, I being neutral don’t affect people around me. While my friend sent a sweet sms late night which goes something like this “ Good friends are like Tom and Jerry, Sometimes small fights keep them apart, but they always come back together to run a long episode”, touched me. For him, the journey and the very excitement of staying together and enjoy those small sharing of emotions matters and yes it matters to me too, but what after that?? There is another friend of mine, who just said, “I will not congratulate you” and to that I said, “You need not congratulate me for anything which cannot alleviate my inner pain”. This is neither a moment of remorse nor a moment of celebration; it’s just a moment which exists and is here to stay for sometime. The achievement is frivolous and doesn’t matter to me. While some of my friends take pride working for the best financial institutions, and some enjoying cross culture outside the vicinity of their country and some just want to be stable for sometime, I am different from them. For me, the very fact of traversing through the corners of knowledge excites me. Being monotonous can kill me morally and I am strictly against committing moral suicide. I am sure, after 6-7 months, these whole series of events would be repeating and no, it’s neither a habit nor a passion for me to understand corporate culture, probably, it’s written in my destiny. My destiny to be here, there and finally nowhere…..

TALK About…

2008-12-19T03:16:00.000-08:00

Let’s talk. Empty talks, talks filled with air, talks having some meaning, talks enough to create a web of thoughts in your mind, sensual talks, sometimes dry and sometimes wet, talks to spell bound, magical talks, talks used to play with the other mind. Life so short but deep enough to leave you perturbed. Talk about it, for talks are just to be spoken and then forgotten, talk about the people with whom you sleep in the night and talk about the people with whom you wake up every morning. Talk about the promises to be kept and some that needs to be broken, seal the talks with your lips and whisper some talks in the ears of the people you trust. Help people so that they talk about you and do betray some so that the talk about you intensifies.

Talk loud, talk soft, talk as if no one listens, there’s always a secret to be revealed and there’s some secrets to be kept within. Talk with your mind to manipulate ideas and talk to your heart to inculcate beliefs and if not anything, forget all the talks and succumb to the speechless talks. Talk about the warrior inside you and talk about the terror within your mind, talk about your unforgettable best and forgettable worst. Talk money, talk religion, talks which are colorful and some times painted with black and white. Influential talks, enough to change the direction of people lives and sometimes talk in vacuum which needs to be ignored. Talk intentionally to praise someone or pretend to be talking unintentionally to hurt some. Forecast your talks, take your talks to a state of déjà vu, feel as if the talks are talked before and talk as if every word woven are new. Gamble your talks, bet on it, win your talks and sometimes lose it. Do believe in some talks and doubt some talks too.

After all, these are talks which need to be remained as talks, sometime swift enough to experience you a new world around you and sometimes leaving you clueless, in a state of despair. An illusion, sometimes reality, talks are believed to be the most enticing piece of sound. Err, you still ready to sit besides me and have a TALK with me. The tables are set, lights are on, let’s talk……..

BREAKING Views!!!

2008-12-15T08:15:00.000-08:00

I just read about the hue and cry made over Shobhaa De‘s comments on SRK and SRK hammering on Shobhaa’s neck. And, as expected, the Indian media has nothing better to show and flash every other ordinary masala news on their channels tagging it as “Breaking News!!”. I just watched this piece of nonsense by Aditya Chopra and believe me there was nothing in that movie to be cheered about, it’s more pathetic than Farah Khan’s creation last year. Every mediocre love story with great amount of publicity with SRK in it makes news among the Indians. It’s true that “SRK and Sex” sells, but what has not been mentioned are both getting sold at its worst form. Sex in its vulgarity and SRK in its mediocrity has ruled and surely going to rule in the future too considering the Indian mindset who have nothing but to get awed seeing such nuisances on screen.

How does it matter what SRK has to say on Terrorism and even if he gives some great speeches in his typical style, how would it change the fate of the nation?? Why we Indians can’t think that at the end of the day, they are the ones who live a lavish lifestyle on the money we spent to watch them on screen. When the whole Mumbai was battling terrorism, neither SRK nor Amitabh got affected, after all, there might not be enough security outside Taj but definitely there is security outside “Mannat” and “Jalsa”. Filmstars are like politicians, both attention seekers and making money for themselves. Being public figures, how many of them have bothered to work for public, the price tag for every star amounting to crores, how much do they owe to general public, nothing but mere 3 hours entertainment. Have we ever thought of this?? Being in fame and in news is what matters to them because the moment, they are out of the news; they are out of the audiences mind. I pity this country, the media, the politicians, and add to the list is the public of India. It’s sad but true, everyone is a victim of paparazzo, everyone needs to be in news, If Shobhaa says something, SRK will revert and adding to these, there will be many who will react to this including the media and what happens at the end of the day?? A new piece of NEWS is born…..

MARRIAGE Mania!!

2008-12-09T08:08:00.000-08:00

With all grandeur, people are excited about my marriage. Everyone is waiting for my marriage with bated breath, the reason being, me the youngest of my family, well-settled, MBA with a good profile and a not-so-bad salary. The who’s who in my family are extremely concerned about the kind of girl, for some, she would be a sari clad “TULSI” from Kyunki fame and for some, she would be a mixture of traditional and modern and for some, a village girl who would be extremely cultured and for my friends, well, some still thinks, I will marry the girl whom I used to love though she’s married now and for some, I will, the moment section 377 is scrapped in India. Bizarre, but true, there have been lot of “bull and bear” expectations set on my marriage sensex. The excitement barometer rises high, every time a cousin of mine gets married or I get a new job. The “MARRCONOMICS” clearly states that to have a family afloat, a boy should get married to a girl or vice versa, work a night with dedication and stay happily, clueless for the next few months till suddenly you hear a “cry” in the hospital chambers, and then you decide the goal of your life and the amount of money you need to make till you are 50 depending on the “CREATION OF GOD”. For every person, the plot is nearly the same except the “here and there” incidents added or removed in order to make the picture look different from others. Life is no less beautiful than a Yash Chopra movie where the guy and girl with certain ambitions at some point of time suddenly forgets everything to find their love, can go any extreme to have their love in their life, forget career and ambitions, what ultimate matters is a life filled with punchlines like “Love will find a way”, “Someone, somewhere is made for you” blah, blah, blah and who else other than my sister knows it to the core and then an extravagant Sooraj Barjatya marriage is set where the couple gets married and happily stay ever after, sad, but it doesn’t work for me. The fascination of getting married has still not got on my nerves not, because I don’t want to get married but because, I don’t want to get married at the cost of my dreams and ambitions. I have never built fences around my life and have believed to live it with the beauty of boundarylessness of life. A child is certainly a gift of god, but for me, not necessarily when it has your own blood running in his/her body. For me, marriage is as sacred as worshipping god but more than that even if you emotionally bond with a person with respect even when not married is more sacred than anything else. But, my dreams have no roof in the society for I would be tagged as an “Ultra-Selfish” person who doesn’t value the dream of his parents.

So, let the euphoria continues, let someone else’s dream be fulfilled, the one who would be associated to me on the marriage night, let the friends dance and have all the fun to see one of their good friends getting wedded, let my parents see their reflection in me and my partner, LET THE MARRIAGE MANIA continues……

9 to 5 of a LIFE..

2008-12-05T08:18:00.000-08:00

9-5, a time which is important for crores of people, especially men who believe that a picture perfect life starts with going to work in the morning so that he could earn money and save something for his family and give his children a future that they would be proud of. 9-5, a time which keeps thousands of people engage in their work and forget their family so that they can build a future rememberable for their family. 9-5, a time which is important for every middle class man whose ego is hurt if they spend time sitting at home from Monday to Friday when the whole world goes to offices for work. I, myself, have been a victim for more than one month when 9-5 engagement was almost zero.

Never could I have imagined in my wildest dream that today morning I will wake up with news which would make my morning a mournful one. My cousin informed me that my uncle who was in his early 40s expired leaving his 12 year old daughter and wife alone in this world. For the past three days he was in coma struggling with brain hemorrhage. The last three days of struggle was in fact a struggle which started in his life when he suddenly lost his job in a small private company. Life was completely perfect until one day he heard that the company he was working for made losses and he was asked to leave the job. And, then probably after that, there were blurs which affected their picture perfect small happy family and what remained were humiliation, struggle and desperation. The job loss had already taken a toll on his health and he became incapable to fight with his own conscience which could have questioned his existence innumerable number of times. Though he had four more brothers and a well settled family to take care of him and his small family but it was not easy for him to sit at home and see the pity on others eyes. He has worked in worst of places so that he doesn’t find disrespect in his daughter’s eyes or the discomfort felt by his wife when suddenly someone questions the profession of his husband. Working day and night and cycling 10 kms everyday for a meager 3000 was not an easy task for him, where instead of respect for his good work, what came across was humility. And, mounting pressure and self hatredness built the plot for his death.

Today, I have nothing to say, nothing to express as myself have been through this when I was sitting jobless for more than a month. It’s not easy for a man whose family have some dreams attached to him, when other’s lives are directly connected to your survival. And, when your own survival flounders, what remains is an empty picture, an imperfect one which doesn’t fit your family, neither it support the dream of your children nor it shows direction to your own existence. 9-5 a time which has taken lives of thousands and still will take in the future. 9-5, perhaps a blessing for some and curse for some others……

Experiencing TERRORISM through Closed Doors of MIND

2008-11-28T03:41:00.000-08:00

Wednesday night was not a usual night for me, it was not a night for me to find comfort on my bed, it was not a night when my eyes slept with solace, rather, it was a night of fear in my mind, and it was a night of insecurity as I was staying alone. Though not in Mumbai, my heartbeat stopped for umpteen number of times seeing the terrorist attack on Taj in Mumbai. Enough has been said, enough has been done and enough has been tolerated in the name of “Jihad”, not anymore.

Seeing those images on television and reading headlines at midnight, what hurt me the most was, the terrorists were “young boys” around 22-25 who were used for this operation. This is the age where the boys have high aspiration and want to do something for themselves and rise high in their life, but it's sad to see guns in their hands and killing people mercilessly. Are we so helpless?? Don't we realize that in the name of religion, a lot has been destroyed including innocent minds which have been brainwashed to carry such activity? All these events in the last 2 days have impacted me a lot and I took some time to read the diaries of these terrorists and understand their psychology. Going through articles on web, I gained a lot of insight on how these innocent individuals are moulded and influenced to carry heinous crimes which they tag under “Martyrism”. One of the Jihadis said in his personal dairy is “The only education they undergo is RELIGION”. For them, guerilla war involved "sacrifice for Allah". I happened to come across a cathartic journey of a jihadi who was caught and kept inside a jail, where he has penned down his memory. As a teenager, he was being exposed to the extremists group and their ideologies. The only thing in his mind was “not to lead a normal life” like his elder brother whom he condemned saying that it was against “Allah”. His diary offers a chilling, fragmented, self-portrait of a young Muslim man not only disaffected with Western society, but with other Muslims unwilling to join in jihad. All in the name of Allah, this was the only way to go heaven. I also came across a letter written by a 21 yr old who was studying in medicine in Sydney and his decision to become a Jihad. He says “Western patients look at me as if I'm a frog. They don't wish to speak English to me. How can I spend five to six years with them? A disillusioned Ul-Haque wanted to take part in a jihad with the militant Islamic terrorist group Lashkar-e-Taiba (LeT), fighting the Indian Army for the freedom of Kashmir. And he would fight to his death to become a martyr. But after finishing the 20-day Ul-Haque decided combat was not for him and he returned to Sydney but was convicted 25 years of jail.

According to Mr. Sageman, Jihad process has four stages. The initial trigger is a sense of moral outrage, usually over some incident of Muslim suffering in Iraq, Palestine, Chechnya or elsewhere. This acquires a broader context, becoming part of what Mr Sageman calls a “morality play” in which Islam and the West are seen to be at war. In stage three, the global and the local are fused, as geopolitical grievance resonates with personal experience of discrimination or joblessness. And finally the individual joins a terrorist cell, which becomes a surrogate family, nurturing the jihadist world-view and preparing the initiate for martyrdom. Many Muslims pass through the first three phases; only a few take the final step.

It’s so true that “Hate is not inherited but taught and believe me these young jihadis are taught to hate and kept away from living a peaceful life. The thing which is taught to these innocent children in schools is “We, the Muslims are good and the rest of the world, the Non-Muslims, is evil. And therefore, Good and Evil will fight and Good will eventually win through human sacrifices.” which was not true, the dream of children were molested every night when they heard shootings, yelling and screaming from the streets and alleys. Atrocities and continuous atrocities on these children have left nothing other than hatred which takes human toll in the form of bombings, killing and a brutal set of events which end the “LIFE” of thousands with a fullstop.

ROCKSTAR LIFE

2008-11-20T07:44:00.001-08:00

"I want to live a life for sometime; I want to live everything within no time
Living my dreams keeping aside my worries, I want to live a life worth a lifetime"

A little bit of this and a little bit of that, a little bit of everything is all I want, that’s what makes my life a “Rockstar Life”. Not everyone gets a chance to be a Bill Gates making million dollar fortune or not everyone is born with a million dollar fortune. Not everyone gets to live with their dream on a bigger canvas, not everyone gets the adulation from everyone. I do not know what will happen in the future but definitely know how I can build my present. I do not want to live by fears, do not want to worry for the unknown nor do I linger on what others think about me. I neither want to be a demure face nor do I want a face recognized by all. I do not want my boat to be tied near the sea shore nor do I want my boat facing the wrath of the sea. I do not want to be loved by all nor do I want to hate all.

A life of few days but a life of innumerable moments, moments of anguish and pain, moments of sheer happiness, moments of love and hatred is all I want. A life not so long or too short, life full of music and a bit of emptiness, life filled with ambitions and a bit of restlessness, filled with fun and laughter and a bit of loneliness is a life I crave for. Life surrounded by beauties and sometimes besides unprivileged, sometime playing with the children and serving the old ones sometime. Driving Ferrari for a day and walking on the roads filled with dust is a life that excites me, a night in a cruiser and a day in an island, trekking mountains and discovering places is a life that I want. Shaking legs in a discotheque with girls sometimes and sometimes enjoying the music of nature in a chilling night in a desert is a life that will make me happy. Sometimes chanting prayers in a temple and sometimes experiencing ordeals with my friends is a life to die for.

All I want is a “Rockstar Life”, sometimes full and sometimes empty. I will find a way to my life for I want my life to be lived with all its glory. Why to waste time in cribbing when there are so many things to do.

"I want to live a life any day, coz I will be a happy man some day,
Days passing like wind so soon; I want to live my life today"

“WORD”ROBE Malfunction

2008-11-17T08:39:00.000-08:00

This is something which I have been hearing since long, thanks to Shobhaa De, “Politically Correct” has been the most widely used term, in most impolitically places and no matter how conscious we are, sometimes, we are a victim of “Word”robe malfunction, a slip of tongue and we are in the midst of problems. The most prepared and the best speakers can be in the trap of a faux pas, sometimes it’s a choice and sometimes the impromptu situations act as a catalyst.

Well, I am not writing a “Robin Sharma” piece of article giving gyan to people, what I am writing here is definitely a piece of shit, it’s about the incredible and unstoppable people who do not even think once before making a public speech and call themselves the “Best of the lot”. It’s difficult to fathom my thoughts especially in this post as I have decided to talk about people who make all kinds of mistake in a conversation and mend the ocean of errors with one word “SORRY”. And, sorry, I am not one of them. Speakers and writers like me who always don’t like to be controversies favourite child prefer to generalize situations and people and then attack on them, for e.g, expose yourself to everyone and then tell “It’s aesthetic and if you have it, flaunt it”. I must say, good slogan for prostitutes and how can I forget the politicians. They have literally molested the beauty of words with their filthy talks and promises which is a bright example of “Wordrobe Malfunction in anonymity”. I am reminded of a girl, who had possibly a crush on a friend of mine and while in a discussion over a cup of coffee, she says , “Well, I am actually looking for a flat, so do Naman (name changed), possibly we both can share the flat”, ugh….I am not at all writing with a middle class notion in my mind, what I want to say is to be clear and precise, your intensions might be sacred enough, but your words are not. I have seen people going publicly declaring their love and affection for a person, then one fine day, they break up , which is quite common and when asked, they say “ It’s very private and it’s JUST a failed relationship”. Good going, youths should learn from these public figures how to f*** around with n number of people and tag it as “FAILED RELATIONSHIPS”. And, then there are people, worst among the lot who has succeeded in “Wordrobe Malfunction” and let me tell you they are proud of it. And, you can catch them everyday and have a sneak peek at their foolishness, you just need to switch on the TV and most important, you should have curiosity to know what’s happening around you and what appears infront of your eyes is a sheer farce, bold letters flashing on your screen one by one, filled with utter crap, no less interesting than an Ekta Kapoor drama. Well, I am not at all attacking Ekta Kapoor in this post, thankfully, two of the biggest bores on TV History (which was not when it started) have tactfully ended, and I thank her.

Well, I have tried my best not to commit “Wordrobe Malfunction” in my post and thankfully, I have succeeded in it. I am happy and gay about it….

Disclaimer: This is a post which is not to be taken seriously, not to be read seriously, and not to be talked about seriously, it’s only to be “UNDERSTOOD” seriously.

Of FACTS and Fiction!!!

2008-10-29T05:17:00.000-07:00

I am tired of writing about me, my friends, and my memories etc. Now, I want to get rid off that silly word “Me” or “My” which features in almost 99% of “My” posts. Well, let “Me” tell, even “I” is synonymous to “Me” and “My”. So, “I” would strictly refrain from using these words atleast in this post.

A bit of fact and a bit of fiction is all what this post is dedicated to. A swanky little guy, excited about his first job, meets a woman who fits his definition of “Dream Woman”. Attracted to girls with a perfect match of brain and brawn, this guy took no time to put all efforts to be the most eligible bachelor in office. Trying to portray the best of a human being with no negative qualities, this guy was pretty sure to win this girl one day, but alas, life had other plans for him. One fine day, he came to know that the girl is hooked up to a much older guy and is getting married soon!! Of all the weirdest actions, this guy actually believed in putting a pack of condoms while traveling with her!! Not only that, with all due respect to the girl and her husband, this guy still cannot forget the only woman whom he loved. Whew!! Was it an effort to straight the records?? The character is not straight enough as it seems, there’s a lot more to it which people might tag it as an unusual piece of writing which a certain section of people adheres to.

“Anything for friendship” is what he believes, rather what he shows. And, certainly this particular chap knows all the tricks to hold people’s attention. Sometimes, people use to wonder, how come this chap manages to have so many friends, both guys and girls. People do forget that for this particular chap, everyone is an acquaintance who can be used when time comes. “Shrewdness” is often misunderstood as “Friendly”, and this chap enjoys all the accolades coming his way. Needs and Desires are the basic necessities of life and, not one person can fulfill everything, and this chap follows the rule religiously. Sometimes, those desires are fulfilled with a price, but, when “Enjoyment” is the only god you worship, you certainly cannot afford to be an atheist and restrain yourself from making your God happy with prayers, flowers and gift.

Meet this “Dude”, a term which he has glorified in all respect. May it be in terms of his dressing sense, the way he talks; the charisma of his persona has enthralled everyone. For him the best things in life are not legal. And, being illegal is not a sin for him when very few know about your moves. This “Dude” has had all the experience in his life and has sincerely enjoyed the dark nights, cozy bedrooms, scented bodies and everything which happens behind the corridors of sanctity. The perception of “best things” is definitely different for different people, but for this dude, “best things” are the human beings which possess the qualities to arouse you and take you to a different world.

Three characters, not necessarily a figment of “My” imagination but weaved in such a way that an interesting plot can be made. And, as per “my” promise, “I” have not used any of those words but still managed to hold your interest and ignite your curiosity to know more about these characters. There is certainly a striking resemblance in all these characters; they all know how to turn a fact to fiction just like “Me” who have not used “I”, “My” or “Me” but definitely these words have a favorable effect on those characters!!!

REALITY Bites

2008-10-24T04:26:00.000-07:00

I talk about men. Does that mean, women don’t hold my interest? Not really, I have always felt the woman inside me. All the qualities of a woman like compassion, jealousy, the extent to which they love, sacrifice. In fact, I respect a woman more than a man. Since childhood, I have been surrounded by women and have seen a gamut of emotions through my eyes simultaneously.

I didn’t have any friends till my graduation. I have always felt the security among women which included my mother, grandmother, sister and my aunties. Being in a joint family, youngest of them all and dominated by women, I have never really tried to feel like a man. I have experienced the extreme love and wrath of a woman. My mother has been the greatest teacher to me. Apart from my education, job, success, failures there was someone who taught me to be as compassionate as a woman, feel the pain of others the way a woman feels without uttering a word, being the epitome of sacrifice. In the process from childhood to adulthood, I never really felt to be a man and do all the things which are considered manly enough.

Yes, I do talk about men. And, being with a man makes me happy more than being with a woman. But, that doesn’t take away the sheer desperateness to understand a woman. I have been with a lot of woman and there’s always a mystery in their eyes. Behind all those backbiting, there’s always a mind who worries about others, in every bitter words, there is an exchange of feelings which only a woman can emote. I have always loved a man with the likes of a woman and loved a woman with a vengeance the way she loves a man. For me, there is no sharing in a relationship.

Yes, I do talk about men and feel secured when there is someone to support and take care of me as I have undergone the sheer pain and loneliness and craved for a shoulder which is strong enough to support me physically and give me a mental high. No, I am not in the midst of “Identity Crisis”, but it’s a “Reality Bite” of my life. It’s true that when I am alone, I am myself. And, infront, of those gazing eyes, I can be the best of person which resembles to the quality of a mother caring for her children or sometimes worst, which resembles to that of a woman’s jealousy, hatredness or sometimes ambitious enough that I instill the qualities of sheer determination, mental strength and sacrifice in myself. Behind every action of mine as a man, there’s a golden touch of attributes of a woman.

Endearing FRIENDS

2008-09-19T22:31:00.000-07:00

Returning back from trekking, in the car, a bunch of people lying on each other’s shoulders enjoying each other’s company, sometimes, things appear so perfect, rather things become perfect. Suddenly, seemingly impossible things become possible with a mere inspiration, desireless heart gets filled with aspirations when someone gives you a reason to fight. I never understood the real meaning of friends until me and my friends trekked on a mountain which was moderately dangerous. Fears gripped the minds of me and my friends when we actually realized the height and the hurdles in our journey. But, the very determination of one of my friends pumped the courage in us and we actually succeeded in our journey. While coming back, tired, heart filled with pride having crossed a dangerous ordeal, we all realized that there is something amongst us which binds us together and gives us a reason to live staying away from our family.

There have been times when tensions and circumstances make us frustrated and the only thing we want is get away from each other’s company. Suddenly, everything goes wrong, some tries to instill faith and some loses it. In a tussle of trying to prove each other’s points, fights, ego and frustrations take the centerstage. The people with whom you share your woes and happiness, the same people hurts your sentiments. Sometimes, a little understanding and effort to stabilize the situation seems to be a Herculean task. But then, as they say, you fight with people whom you love the most. Sometimes, those small fights prove to be a base for understanding your friends. Don’t change the person you love, rather accept as they are. And, never call it a “Compromise”, its more meaningful than that, its “Sacrifice” blended with love and care for the person you like. During the most difficult times of your life, like preparing for exams late night when your mother cannot prepare tea for you, your friends accompany you late night. When you need your parents to wish you and they are not there, it’s your friends who wish you luck. When you fell sick, and you needed a caring hand, it’s your friends who were awake and made you comfortable. If you feel lost ever in this crowded world, then it’s your endearing friends who show you the path and hold your hands.

Le chale, le chale, yaadon ke yeh kaafile
Jaayenge hum jahan, yeh zameen asmaan mile…
Narm boondon ke rimjhim, pehli baar ishq ke din
Dopehar garmiyon ki, shame woh sard si
Rut koi koi mausam, koi ghadi,
Saath mein humko hardum tum paoge

An Unconditional LOVE

2008-08-01T07:30:00.001-07:00

“Khumaar e gham hai mehekti fiza main jeete hai
Tere khayalon ke aabo hawa main jeete hai…….”

Even before I could confess my love to that person, people have started talking filthy things about me, accusing me of doing something which is not acceptable in the society. Sometimes, a mere joke made by them leaves me wounded. I have never been a victim of the lecherous eyes or seductive smile that attracts a lot of people, but yes, I have always been in love with the simplicity. Simplicity could be defined as having no artificial mask on the face or a fear of being outrageously fake. “Opposite Attracts”, and the phrase hold true for me and the person I love. We are two different individuals with two different ideologies.

The tables have turned, simplicity struggling to shine and have an identity among the mass whereas artificiality wants the picture to be clear with no shades of black or grey, something which reveals the truth and honesty of the artificiality’s intensions which are questioned time and again by the simplicity. Somewhere alone in an unknown city, I am craving for those small fights, happiness and excitement. I might ignore umpteen numbers of times, lying to myself but the truth dictates and makes me numb. And, the truth is “I am in love”. I neither expect love in return, nor any physical nearness. I do not want a castle of dreams; the only thing I expect is a moment of thought about me.

“Thak gaya tujhko main yaad karte karte
Ab tujhe main yaad aana chahata hoon...”

ALVIDA Mumbai, My Friend and I

2008-07-02T23:11:00.000-07:00

Show must go on...These 6 months have taught me a lot. The myopic view about Mumbai has changed. The city which never sleeps makes crores of people close their eyes and dream of success, fame and money. This tinsel town has managed to do give and take business and has not spared a single person.And, I was not an exception. Even, I reached Mumbai with a dream, to go back Pune with a job of my interest and spend some time with my friends whom I have loved more than myself. The journey which started as a dream turn out to be a nightmare. Things suddenly worsened out and there were moments of frustration, sadness and accusations. Suddenly, one fine Monday, 12th May, Me and my friend were asked to leave the job on the same day.The people who used to enjoy work had to sit at home idle and jobless. Neither the city nor the destiny spared both of us. The people whom I thought would help me at this crucial time cheated and turned their back. Every morning we both used to wake up with a fear whether we would get calls from any company, how to spend the whole day sitting at home.For 20 days, we were without a call and even if we got calls, things didn't get materialized due to some or the other reason.A city where everyone have their own success and failures, even we both had share of our own. But, as they say,things do change!!! My friend and my destiny is linked. We both got job on the same day and even our joining date was the same.He had to leave for Bangalore and I had to stay in Mumbai.For a moment,I wondered, how come I can stay in Mumbai when he is leaving for Bangalore. Did our destiny forget to play some trick??? Not really, I got a call from one of the big companies in Pune and the things were finalized in just one day.So, finally, Me and my friend left Mumbai.

A city where we have shared so much. There have been times when we were awake whole night and have chatted on career, friends and Mumbai off course.Things have changed and it changed for the better.Its ALVIDA Mumbai for now!!!!!

MUMBAI Mirage

2008-05-07T05:53:00.000-07:00

In a candid conversation with my friend, I discovered that Mumbai is not a city to stay. Four months back, when I heard the news of my relocation to Mumbai, there was a mixed reaction in me. I was happy going to my friends and sad that I will be another useless addition to the innumerable count of people in Mumbai. Though the city life of this tinsel town fascinated me, but the change of reaction was quite surprising to me. In these four months, life took a drastic U- turn and I confronted with a lot of things which made me realize that Mumbai is not that bad if you are ready to embrace both sides of the human emotion with equal fervor.

Landing in Mumbai made me feel that life is nothing more than a marathon. You just need to run endlessly with a mask on your face so that your friends or people don’t recognize you when you knowingly take a wrong turn. “When money talks, bullshit walks!!” is a favourite quote of my dearest friend and I follow it religiously. It’s not bad to taste the bullshit for a change when the city admires you for doing so. So, I had my own share of bullshit. Though I have been warned a lot of times by my friends, still the ordeal always fascinated me. To have the best, be in the best and to have the worst, still be in the best. Because, the BEST are neither questioned nor caught.

The things which seemed sweet suddenly became sour. Relationship started getting burdened. The city doesn’t spare anyone nor did it spare me. The pain and anxiety which I experienced in Pune because of staying away from my friends doesn’t exist anymore. I am perfectly ready to leave behind the relationships which I termed once as “Friendship for Lifetime”. Mumbai has certainly been instrumental in changing some of the feelings which I had for the people whom I always cared. err.. Caring have become suffocation, endless talks have become arguments and admirations have become accusations. No doubt, after a certain point of time, you eyes even denies sparing tears and what ultimately remains is loneliness. And, if you ask me how it feels being a loner, then my answer is “I am very happy and truly enjoying Mumbai!!!!”……

A DEPARTING Rendezvous!!

2008-03-31T05:29:00.000-07:00

“Aaj jaane ki zid naa karo, yunhi pehloo main baithe raho,
Haye mar jaayenge, hum toh lut jaayenge,aisi baatein kiya na karo”

A lonely beach and waves splashing the sea shore, the moon trying to play hide and seek with the clouds and two people sitting besides each other enjoying the celebration of night. I was afraid with the thought of parting away later in the night. I have always felt the fragrance of the person in me, the intoxicating eyes enough to experience the mellow essence of wine. The soothing voice of the person brings an euphoria in my mind and my ears pleads to listen more of it. The touch of the person is as warm as the warmth of hearth in a chilling night and the person's presence makes me feel the cool breeze of the spring.

I was indecisive whether to spend the evening exchanging words or enjoy the silence looking at the eyes which has lot to reveal. The revelation of the importance of me in the person’s life was enough for me to rejoice. Everytime I hear or meet the person, it kindles a passion in me to have more of it. Why was I so impatient for the person's call in the evening? Every moment was difficult for me to pass when I didn’t receive the call early in the evening as promised. I was angry and could have gone any extent to make the person realize it's mistake of making me wait and spoil my evening. Passing those four hours was painful for me and every passing second helped me realize how badly I need the person in my life. But, my mind was ready enough to forget anger and pain the moment the person called and asked me to meet late in the night.

Sometimes, the obvious things become so precious. An obvious meeting, an obvious date, an obvious fight and an obvious person. Sometimes, it takes ages to know and understand a person and sometimes, you feel for the person within some moments of togetherness. Not every relationship needs to be named and not every friendship need a reason to exist. It’s a feeling which never fades, touches the height of ecstasy, and leaves you speechless forever. I have always felt the same with the person. There is not even an iota of dishonesty and distrust in the relationship. The pages of my friendship with the person are painted with black and white. You can call it love or lust, madness or desperation, but the feeling for the person in me sinks in my heart with every beat, every second…………

And, then the person departed. The person was running to catch the train, and I wishing to stop the train forever. The appearance fading with the moving of train, and suddenly I was left in the station alone among the crowd but my heart humming

“Aaj jaane ki zid naa karo, yunhi pehloo main baithe raho,
Haye mar jaayenge, hum toh lut jaayenge,aisi baatein kiya na karo”

First ENCOUNTER with LIFE

2008-03-05T23:00:00.000-08:00

Though I had seen 22 summers but the summer which I spent in my college showed me something which was truly remarkable. The rendezvous was truly enlightening. Rendezvous was not with my roomies or with my mentors, but it was with a very experienced figure, a figment of my imagination but still very influencing called LIFE. Well, I could easily give a human form to life as I spent the most of my time with it. And, that happened only because of certain circumstances which made me realize one very important thing that it’s not easy to take all your loved ones along with you. The journey I took did not have the same destination for others. I did make an attempt of changing the identity of people whom I call friends to someone “Unknown” in my mind and believe me the output was mesmerizing. I was unbiased and the decisions taken impacted a lot on me. It taught me the whole cycle of human relationship. It helped me come out of the cocoon where I used to be in a state of grief and despair. The meeting did not happen in the cozy room of my hostel but in unusual places, sometimes besides the roads in lonely nights, terrace of my college and staircases of the temples. Being alone I could easily question myself and make life as a catalyst for my answers. The biggest mistake I committed was naming relationship as obsession, a lifetime commitment which needs to be fulfilled only with honesty and dedication among two people. How wrong was I!!!! Life made me understood that relationship is a like a river which is never stable, life has put pebbles to control the flow of relationship. A steady relationship is nothing more than a theoretical term. The one whom I made a catalyst brought the maximum effects in a relationship. Emotional breakdown, possessiveness, longing for a person, temporary depart affects a relationship a lot. The more we are attached, the more we suffer. It’s true that if you want a person besides you, leave him/her free. If he comes back to you, he is yours and if he does not, he was never yours. May be life has designed everyone’s survival in a matter not to affect each other’s lives. Being so close to my mother, still I have been living away from her from the last 3.5 years which was perhaps impossible when I used to stay with her. Priorities define a relationship. The day priorities changes, relationship changes too. We all are here to work for a purpose. And, even I went to Pune with a purpose too…..But, did I succeed??? May be its too early to say.

THE Autumn JINGLE

2008-03-04T10:35:00.000-08:00

On this one auspicious autumn night, I was out to see the shooting stars but lo! Instead herein befalls the shooting of the cupid’s arrow. As goes the good old punch line of Café Coffee Day: a lot can happen over coffee, so this is how it all began. A coffee proved to be a kick start to this unforgotten episode of my encounter with the stranger. Once upon a time not too long ago…till I got a call and the person at the other end asked me to sip a coffee at a restaurant near to my place. The transformation from a tight lipped life to a life of words made me realized that silence is not always golden. Slowly walking by the lanes, I could feel the ephemeral beauty of night, enchanting music of the winds whispering sweet nothings. Winter was slowly trying to play hide and seek with autumn and creating a magic spell on the city. And, nearing the restaurant, I could spot a human figure draped in woolen clothes trying to avoid the crowd. All I could see was a restless face with a mysterious smile waving hands at the sight of me. Socializing has always fascinated me despite the fact that some acquaintances have proved to be outright disastrous. Finally balancing the confidence quotient, I mumbled “Hi” with a generous smile. Well if you are expecting that the obvious thing to happen in a first meeting is a brief introduction, then spare a thought, since this may not be necessary always, I am sure you too must have experienced this. First meetings can be more unpredictable and interesting. Wow, how about catching a movie and experience togetherness for three hours? Never could I have imagined watching movie with a stranger and having fun all the while. We laughed, we cried, we shared every beautiful moments of the movie together.
“In my heart, I can feel the flowers bloom,
Playing in the mud and getting wet in the monsoon,
Scintillating beauty of clouds trying to hide the moon,
Never could I have felt the beauty of the morning dew,
And I swear did I feel nothing but only YOU…….”

The movie ended and we both started walking in the wee hours of the morning humming those same beautiful lines of the movie. My heart was tyrant enough to have given anything to that stranger that night had the stranger would have asked something but there was a selfless attachment that developed between both of us and the only thing we wanted was another meeting. And, I as a puppet was trying to dance on the tunes of my heart submitting myself to the mirage that was woven in my mind. Those three hours wrote a new theory of relationship which exists still today. There was no desire of lust though together every moment, no qualms though fighting for petty things, no hatred despite knowing the worst of each other. The only thing which persisted was the jingle which still plays occasionally and reminds us of the first meeting. That autumn night still gratify every moment of today. Though apart, I can still feel the warmth of the stranger in the chilling nights of January. And, yes, far in an unknown city when I find myself alone, I start watching a stranger on the street with the hope of playing the jingle again and to my sheer destiny, it plays endlessly…..
“In my heart, I can feel the flowers bloom,
Playing in the mud and getting wet in the monsoon,
Scintillating beauty of clouds trying to hide the moon,
Never could I have felt the beauty of the morning dew,
And I swear did I feel nothing but only YOU…….”

I truly enjoy being a stranger……for once and forever